A Lions fan can dream can't he?

Supposedly, Bill Parcells is mulling which new NFL team he will fix...He's done it every where he's gone--the Giants, the Patriots, the Jets, the Cowboys, and the Dolphins. Could the Lions be next? There were rumors years ago that Parcells tried to get control of the Lions, but Ford wouldn't go for it at the time.

How the Lions can beat the Packers....who am I trying to kid?

There are faint glimmers of hope surrounding this annual trek to the Field of Bones known as Lambeau. There are reasons that can only be grasped by the maniacally insane that the Leos can eek out a victory of some sort when the team crosses the river Styx and passes into the dark lands of Wisconsin.

But I am not "maniacally" insane...yet. It doesn't matter what the doctors or the medications say...

Reasons for...ahem, "hope"

Jahvid Best is injured...that is not a positive, but he may actually still play, which would be a big boon for the Leos woebegone offense. Best on the field gives the Lions the ability to work a short screen game and actually threaten with runs to the edge. Best is a player the Packers will have to game plan around.

Nate Burleson, the supposed threat opposite of Calvin Johnson, is very likely to play this week. Again, this should draw some attention away from Johnson...should.

Brandon Pettigrew, a few dropped passes aside, has really started to come on in the last two weeks as an emergency outlet for the Kansas Kid, going so far as putting up a 100+ yard day against Philadelphia.

The Kong continues to terrorize quarterbacks. Sure he got flagged for the hit, but he gave a good bonk to the head of the Devil last Sunday and it felt good to see. Suh continues to have the praise heaped upon him by anyone who has seen him play this season. He has caused havoc in both the running and passing games of opposing teams.

It is possible that the Schwartz and his staff will have a light of clarity shine down upon them from above and they will realize that playing C.C. Brown is just the act of a group of incredibly stupid people--and he will change his ways and play one of the rookies, Spievey or Phillips. Neither one could do any worse and at least they have the built in excuses of being rookies.

Jonathon Wade could miraculously drink some magic elixir that makes him grow another six inches and enlightens him on the ancient secrets of how to tackle.

Chris Houston could actually play like a second round pick.

DeAndre Levy and Zach Follet should both play this weekend, but I'm still not sure if that's good or bad.

The offensive line could hold up more than the sieve it actually has played like over the last two games--against one of the best defenses in the NFL and second year killer hitman Clay Matthews.

Oh, damn, even I can't believe any of this...we're so doomed.

Why the Packers will...what kind of name is "Packers" anyway?

How the Packers can destroy the Lions...other than just showing up.

The first problem the Lions will have to deal with is the astounding play of the Devil's heir, Aaron Rodgers. He is quick to diagnose any defense and almost as quick to get the ball out of his hands.

Which is especially dangerous against the Leos because they can't cover anybody, not for five seconds, not for two seconds, not ever. Jonathon Wade can't cover or tackle. Chris Houston is bad. And C.C. Brown is worse than both put together.

The Packers, and primarily Snidely Whiplash himself, will dissect the lions secondary like a seventh grade biology project.

It will not be pretty.

Is anybody actually allowed to touch the quarterback anymore? Ever?

The Lions spent the majority of their offseason building what they hoped to be a dominating defensive line. It appears that Martin Mayhew and Jim Schwartz were successful in fulfilling that goal--the defense has registered 12 sacks in the first three games this season.

But the Lions are also getting flagged for unnecessary roughness against opposing quarterbacks at a crazy rate. The fact that the rules over the last decade have changed that you can no longer hit the quarterback above the shoulders or below the knees do not in any way help.

In fact, these rules slow down the game, dilute aggressiveness, and pretty much tie the hands of defensive lineman all over the NFL. It isn't just the Lions that are getting called with ticky-tack flags--it's just the Lions that went hog wild to build a defensive line only to see the NFL do everything in its power to negate their plan.

As long as the quarterback has the ball in his hand, he should be fair game. Otherwise, call him the second punter, or better yet, make the NFL provide a full time QB for both teams...just like we used to do in the back yard when I was 12.

Lambeau Field...a road of bones.

You will hear, ad nauseum, until the Lions manage to end the streak, about how the Lions cannot win in Lambeau. They haven't won since 1991. All the years with Barry...no wins. All those years under Millen...well, you had to expect no wins there...

Anyway, it's true. There's nothing any of us can do when it comes up, except nod and stare at our own feet in disgust.

There are many a fallen hero buried beneath that frozen tundra--not the least of which is a half a dozen abysmal performances by the greatest player to wear the uniform--in the playoffs too.

Another awful week of picks...

Wow, that was a rough week. I barely broke even, going 8-8. So far this season, I'm 30-18. Not very good, keep your money in your wallets.

This week should be much better.

NY Jets over the Bills
Saints over the Panthers
Bengals over the Browns
Titans over the Broncos
Colts over the Jaguars
Eagles over the Redskins
Giants over the Bears
Seahawks over the Rams
Packers over the Lions
Ravens over the Steelers
Falcons over the Niners
Texans over the Raiders
Chargers over the Cardinals
Patriots over the Dolphins

Back to Lambeau, House of Horrors...

To say that the Detroit Lions have had issues playing in the "Frozen Tundra" of Green Bay is more than a little understatement. The Lions haven't won there in 19 years. Now granted, most of that was while the Devil roamed the dairy fields, but even with him gone, the place doesn't feel any better.

You don't go into Micheal Myers house just because they've supposedly caught him. That's just insanity.

Now Aaron Rodgers has taken over the Devil role in this horrible Packers-Lions eternal feud and even though he reminds me more of Snively Whiplash than the Devil who wears #4, he is still a vile and evil thing. He'd just assume tie up your lovely bride to a railroad track as rack up 400+ yards on the Lions insignificant secondary.

Aaron Rodgers is not to be trifled with. The fact that there was some sort of unexplainable lunar eclipse last night that caused the Bears to sneak away with a win over what is supposed to be a Super Bowl contending team means nothing. The Lions actually beat the Bears just three weeks ago. Don't even talk about the damn catch! They won and you know it.

Does this give the Lions hope of breaking the second worst streak in Lions history? No. this is the Lions we're talking about.

No, the Bears, coached by Martz and Marinelli, pulled some weird magic trick on the Packers, it's the only explanation I can think of.

The Lions have no magic. They have as much hope of winning in Lambeau as third world orphans have of getting adopted by Angelina Jolie. Oh, sure there's a chance, but she can't really adopt all of them, can she?

No, Jay Cutler is steadily improving in Martz's system and looked pretty decent against the Packers defense. Shaun Hill has no real hope of doing any where remotely as well.

And while Cutler was struggling to learn Martz's system when he was playing Detroit, Mr. Whiplash is a maestro in his offense.

The Lions are doomed in an epic fashion. I fear they'll lose by more than 30.

Megatron still missing.

Scott Linehan is still doing a pitiful job of getting the ball to Calvin Johnson. He tried a bubble screen and a reverse to him against the Vikings, but only once each. The Lions need to continue to lure the opposing defensive backs up so that Johnson can blow by them and get deep.

Why are we playing Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dumb, and Tweedle C.C. Brown still?

Johnathon Wade, Chris Houston and C.C. Brown are playing bad on a historically bad level. I have never understood why the Lions for almost twenty years cannot play bump and run coverage. Why does every cornerback that wears a Lion on the side of his helmet have to play ten yards off of the opposing receiver--especially on third and four or five?

Can Nathan Vasher, Alphonso Smith, Amari Spievey or Randy Phillips really play any worse than these three stooges?

The Devil wins again...

Dismal thoughts after watching the Devil who wears #4 run his home record against the Leo's to 19-0...

1. This one may not hurt as bad as the Megatron reversed touchdown or last week's 3 point loss...but it hurts a lot. This wasn't even a good Minnesota team. This is how bad the Lions are playing. They caught the Devil on a down day with no receivers and they lost by two touchdowns.

2. C. C. Brown is the worst defensive back I have seen in the last twenty years. He is making the memory of Bryant Westbrook--on one leg--a very fond one. If he isn't blatantly missing tackles, leaving receivers wide open or just looking shocked as a clubbed baby seal, I think he's probably spiking the gatorade for all the other players.

3. In fact, every opposing offensive coordinator that plays the Lions should be fired if they don't put up at least 50 points. The Lions secondary is so abysmally awful it is sickening. All any team has to do for the rest of the season is call three step drops and throw short passes. The Lions will never play up on anybody and they can't really even tackle anyway...which pretty much negates playing off the receivers anyway.

4. The Lions marched into the Devil's den and then promptly crapped themselves, rolled over and begged the demon to have his way with them. It was awful.

5. The Lions' secondary is so bad that I am beginning to question if even Louis Delmas is any good. You have to figure that if three out of the four guys are so abysmally disgustingly wretched, what makes you think the fourth guy isn't too.

6. I don't think the Lions have any linebackers either. Julian Petersen is a three time probowler who doesn't exactly look all that great. DeAndre Levy looks worse and nobody even knows the name of whoever is playing on the weak side...

7. Oh, the huge worry going into the season about Jahvid Best was could he stay healthy? We now know...well, he had to sit out pretty much the whole second half with a toe injury...a toe injury? And word on the street is he's had it all season and simply aggravated it at the end of the second quarter. A toe injury?

8. I am beginning to have doubts that the Lions will ever field a competent, let alone probowl, offensive line again in my lifetime. I really wish I could go back in time and somehow convince prior managements to not let go of guys like Lomas Brown, Kevin Glover, and Jeff Hartings.

9. To say that Jeff Backus and Dominic Raiola are no Lomas Brown and Kevin Glover is an understatement of epic proportions.

10. The Lions will get no respect from officials until they find a way to completely dominate a few games. Not just win, but win by several scores. Or in other words, they'll never get any respect from officials. The interception that was called back because of pass interference was simply atrocious. The Vikings receiver ran the Lions defender over and then cut in the opposite direction of Farve's pass. If anything, that should have been offensive pass interference.

11. The stupid quarterback hit to the head rule is a shame. The fact that players are getting called for brushing the quarterback's head, while he still has the ball in his hand makes absolutely no sense. In other words, the league is trying to outlaw players from smacking the ball out of the quarterback's hand. Seriously, when are they going to start putting a dress on the quarterback. Oh and while anybody who breathed too close to the Devil was called, our Scott Mitchell clone was smacked around like red headed step child.

12. The holding call on Dominic Raiola was a crime.

13. I really hate the NFL.

3rd and 3 or less...

In the NFL the average run goes for 4 yards, why teams think that it is imperative that they pass in this situation is a huge mystery to me. The Lions faced 3rd and 3 or less four times in Minnesota. They ran twice, converting once and they passed twice converting once. So far this season the Lions are 3 of 6 rushing and 2 of 3 passing. I maintain that as the season continues, these success rates will reverse themselves.

Where is the Fade Stop?

One of the great plays during the golden days of '90's Lions football, other than hand the ball to Barry and stand back and watch, was the fade stop. A quick pass to the corner of the end zone for a 6'2+ receiver (usually Herman Moore) thrown high enough to take advantage of much smaller corners.

Calvin Johnson is 6'5, I don't care if he's covered by three corners...they're all a lot smaller than he is. That play is there.

Item of note:

The Lions haven't blocked a punt since 2007...which is pretty amazing because I can't remember the Lions ever actually trying to block a punt in my lifetime. This is a special teams play that is usually better than a turnover. It is a show an aggressive team who wants to win...this is something the Lions never even try to do.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

There are a few great things about the Lions playing road games. One, you can always bet against them, you know they'll lose. Two, you don't have to worry about the game being blacked out. And three, there are always cheerleaders in the background. Take your focus off the game in between snaps and look beyond the players centered in the frame...there are almost always cheerleaders in the background.

Unfortunately, this week the Lions trek to the dreaded Lambeau field, a place they haven't won in this century. And the Packers are one of the very few Nazi organizations who outlaw the beloved cheer squad.

Tales of the inept...

Sadly, the Lions are leading the inept in the race to the Lions Super Bowl...the draft.

0-3 San Francisco Forty-Niners. The Niners were a team many picked to win a very, very weak NFC West. Instead the Niners laid a colossal egg against the Kansas City Chiefs who many thought should be fighting to be at the head of the inept list this year. The Chiefs, remarkably, are now 3-0. Who knew?

0-3 Carolina Panthers. The Panthers thought they had a quarterback, but they didn't. Mike Moore looked really bad in his first two games and has now been replaced with former Notre Dame QB rookie Jimmy Clausen. I'm pretty sure the Irish haven't produced a legitimate QB since Montana. The Panthers lost 20-7 to the Cincinnati Bengals.

0-3 Cleveland Browns. The Browns are in complete rebuilding mode. Which is why they're employing a stone age quarterback being backed up by a bronze age quarterback. Eric Mangini is in trouble. He'll probably be fired after this season. The Browns lost 24-17 to Baltimore, a respectable effort against a much superior team.

0-3 Buffalo Bills. The Bills have no quarterback, a bunch of running backs and a head coach that has failed so much in the NFL he was never on anybody's radar to get a head coaching job last year. It was a real shock to the NFL world when the Bills tapped Chan Gailey...but it is not a shock that they are playing this poorly. The Bills came back late to make the score look respectable, but they were pretty much crushed by the Patriots 38-30.

0-3 Detroit Lions. The race is on...

Items of note for Sunday and beyond...

There are numerous items of note to think about as the Lions again throw down the gauntlet against the evil one. A foreboding and ill wind is blowing across the lakes and plains of the Land of 10,000 Fiery Lakes.

First of all, The Franchize will watch this one from the comfy confines of the coaches booth high above the gridiron.

Stephen Peterman, the Lions starting right guard, is highly questionable to play this Sunday, which does not look good as the Lions are facing the Williams Wall, probably the best pair of defensive tackles in the league.

Julian Petersen, a three time probowl linebacker, and one of the few legitimate players the Leos have on defense, was benched for the last two series of the game against the Eagles...even the good players, play like bums once they put on the Honolulu blue.

Zach Follet is questionable, which is sad, because he's not even really all that good, but he's the best the Lions have to play the weak side.

Nate Burleson, the guy who was supposed to pull some of the coverage away from Megatron, suffered a high ankle sprain, which is an injury in the NFL that can range in severity as something between mild acne and the ebola virus. Who knows when he'll be back or if he'll even have both feet.

Clash of the Titans...

VS

vs

Who will win?

Why the Lions will devour the Vikings and slay the demon...

So what has to happen for the Lions to finally slay the foulest beast Farve? Other than an alignment of the stars and an eclipse and probably a virgin sacrifice?

Well, first there's going to have to be holy water and probably silver bullets...and salt --lots of salt.

When the foul and ageless demon walks out of the Mall of America Stadium tunnel, he will step onto a field with the Lions, a field that he has owned for more than almost twenty years. He owns a career record against the Leos of 27-9, 13-3 over the last ten years and 18-0 whenever he has faced them as a home team.

Any time that graybeard scumbag has stepped on his home turf against the honolulu blue they might as well turn off the scoreboard. Everyone knows the outcome.

But can that change this week?

Probably not.

But there are remote reasons for hope. Reasons that irrational fools like myself cling to like a drowning man clings to an ever buoyant anchor.

The Kong!

For twenty years we've played Devil who wears #4 with a usually suspect defense. For many of those years the Lions had an old warrior named Robert Porcher. It has been a considerable amount of time since the Lions have had what could be considered a real presence in the middle of the defensive line.

This season the Lions have made a herculean effort to build a really good defensive front (of course they forgot the defense is made up of 11 total players, not 4, but still...). Corey Williams and Kyle Vanden Bosch are legitimate players...some may even argue that Vanden Bosch is a potential star with his play this year.

But the centerpiece of the group is Suh, The Kong. He has never faced the evil one before and he's looking forward to this opportunity. The Kong is what gives a true Lion fan hope that the dark thing that is Farve will be slain and burnt this Sunday. That his foulness will once again be wiped clean from the world.

A new day will dawn in crisper and cleaner new NFL...the nightmare will be over.

The Devil himself...

OK, let's just assume for one moment that the Devil is actually human (humor me). The dude is almost 41 years old, all of his receivers are injured and he looks really, really old...not to mention mentally deficient. Did you see any of the picks he threw last week?

But of course, that wasn't against the Lions. No, that was against some REAL NFL team. The Lions secondary would have dropped all of those interceptions. The Lions secondary will make journeyman nobody wide out Greg Camarillo look like the second coming of Lance Alworth or Steve Largent or Raymond Barry.

But maybe, just maybe the demon continues to press and press and play like Rusty Hilger on speed.

Jahvid Best (this guy needs a nickname...)

If Best can play like he did last week, or even half as good as played last week, for the rest of the year, the Lions will have the offensive rookie of the year. If he can continue to work screens for positive gains and the offensive line can actually seal the edge on more than two runs, Best could have a very big day.

The Lions need to abandon running up the gut against the Williams Wall, a concept that hasn't escaped the dunderheads running the show in Allen Park in the past. If they can work the outside with Best and keep the pass rush honest with screens ...(Listen to me talking about the Lions as if they were a real team..."Bartender, another double please.")...they have a chance to keep up with all the points their secondary will give up.
Benching C.C. Brown and starting Randy Phillips

I can dream, can't I? That guy has looked horrible every time I've seen him play. Can't cover. Can't catch. Can't compete.

Dude is just plain bad.

Why the Vikings will pillage the Lions...

Before I get to another diatribe on the Devil who wears #4, the unholy fruit of the blasphemous union of Beelzebub and Wrangler Jeans, let me first say some things about C. C. Brown.

I thought his name was Can't Cover Brown, but Sunday showed it's actually Can't Catch Brown. Whatever his name really stands for, he is a huge liability. He takes horrible angles, rarely covers anybody well and tackles for crap on most plays. He is a typical "big hit over solid tackle" guy and the worst part is when he's trying to lower the boom on a receiver, he's just as apt to miss or hit his teammate as he is to hit an opponent.

Brown should be taken out behind the huge practice facility and beaten senseless by six guys with pillowcases full of bars of soap.

The Lions secondary is awful in general, but C. C. is abysmal and needs to be sacrificed to the football gods for his inept play. Let Randy Phillips play, he's a rookie, at least he has a built in excuse.

The Devil Rises Again...

It doesn't matter that Sidney Rice and Percy Harvin are out and highly doubtful respectively. The Devil doesn't need receivers when he plays the Lions. It doesn't matter anyway, because the Lions don't have anybody that could cover them anyway...

When playing the Lions, a team he owns like a pimp owns prostitutes, Farve could throw the ball to shadows and still manage completions. I half expect the actual numbers painted on the grass to peel themselves off the turf and catch his passes and then struggle for at least an extra ten yards on every completion.

The Lions only hope against this abomination is The Kong. Or maybe Kyle VandenBosch. The demon must be slain. His ridiculous string of games played must be broken and desecrated. The defensive line must bury him and burn his foul bones.

Adrian Petersen.

In actuality, the Lions have always done a very respectable job of stopping Petersen, but with the missing wide outs issue currently happening in Viking land, the Vikings will be forced to lean even more heavily than normal on "All Day."

Petersen is a danger to score on any play and with the amount of rushes he is destined to get on Sunday, it'll only take two or three mental or physical breakdowns by the defensive line to provide a significant margin of victory for the purple ones.

The Williams Wall.

Sure Jahvid Best managed 78 yards on the ground last week, but more than half of that came on two runs. The Lions have not shown a consistent ability to make yardage on the ground and facing arguably the best defensive tackle pair in the game won't make it any easier.

The Kansas Kid.

Shaun Hill showed how poor his accuracy can be this last weekend. Until Stafford gets back, the quarterback play is a crapshoot.

I rocked my picks last week...

After a horrible week one, I feel I may have redeemed myself last week - going 13-3. So far this season I'm 22-10.

Let's see how I manage this week

New England over Buffalo
Minnesota over Detroit
Houston over Dallas
Tennessee over New York
Cincinnati over Carolina
Washington over St. Louis
San Diego over Seattle
New York Jets over Miami
New Orleans over Atlanta
Baltimore over Cleveland
San Francisco over Kansas City
Pittsburgh over Tampa Bay
Jacksonville over Philadelphia
Oakland over Arizona
Indianapolis over Denver
Green Bay over Chicago

Lions march into the Devil's Den this Sunday

The shrill horn has sounded and the call echoes heavy in the air as the Lions regroup from another loss and prepare to march into the Devil's Den--Minnesota.

The ancient evil has hung around the Lions neck like a dead albatross for lo too many years.

And yet here they are again, readying themselves to do battle with the Devil that wears #4 for the umpteenth billionth time -- for time long forgotten.

Pay no attention to the fact that his horde of Demon Norseman are currently sporting a record no better than the Lions (0-2). It doesn't matter, this isn't a game about football anymore when the Lions face the Devil. No this is an epic battle for the very souls of every man that wears the Honolulu Blue.

There are only two possible outcomes this Sunday for anybody strapping on the Lions colors--Victory or Eternal Damnation.

And Eternal Damnation is nothing to scoff at. It's really, really bad news. Imagine your entire body being boiled away by scalding oil for all of eternity or worse yet, being forced to watch completely helpless as Sterling Sharpe runs away, completely uncovered for the go ahead touchdown pass -- again and again until your brain explodes...

Brett Favre has owned the Lions his entire career. This may be his last season (Ha! I've heard that horrible lie before.) Will the Lions allow him to own them forever?

It is time for the Mighty Kong to slay that venomous beast. To spear him and chew out his heart.

End the nightmare!

Where is Megatron?

The object of every defensive coordinator is to identify the opponents best weapon and then take that weapon away from them. This is what has happened to Calvin Johnson.

Opponents are double and tripling Calvin Johnson all the time. So the Lions do the age old sin...it makes me cringe every time I hear the phrase...they are "taking what the defense gives them."

Every Lions coach throughout time has used the phrase...and that is why they all deserve the special hell they will receive. You see good teams do not "take what the defense gives them," no they dictate to the defense what they are going to do.

Do you think that teams haven't been double and triple covering Randy Moss for years now? That they didn't do the same for Jerry Rice and Herman Moore and Andre Rison and Andre Johnson and Marvin Harrison and every other great receiver throughout time?

So either Megatron isn't really as good as he's been advertised or the Scott Linehan is a complete moron.

You do not let the other team take away what you do best. You do not let your opponent dictate what you can and can't do -- that is the excuse of losers and nobodies. Look for Megatron to get 10 catches this week or for a pack of wild timberwolves to feast on the corpse of Linehan before he can get back on the team plane Sunday evening.

Detroit Pride please everyone but the Ford's...

Lions lose 35-32...Kansas Kid looks really bad.

#1 Shaun Hill, the Kansas Kid, should probably give up the game and wander back to Kansas. I'm sure they're hiring at the Piggly Wiggly. The knock against Hill was supposed to be arm strength, but the real problem turned out to be his wild inaccuracy. Hill missed simple screens, long passes and even when he was able to complete a pass, rarely was the ball put in a place that didn't cause the receiver to have to slow down or stop in order to catch the pass. In fact, he looked a helluva lot more like Scott Mitchell than Erik Kramer.

#2 The third and one and fourth and one in the fourth quarter was bad on a couple levels. First of all it was good for Schwartz to challenge his team to get that one yard. Running the exact same play was not so good. No play action...no creativity...nothing. Also, it's really hard to run right over the center when the defense is smashing everybody and their fat uncle over the center...especially when you have a center that's about 30 lbs lighter than your average center.

#3 This game was no where near as close as the score indicates. Even though the Lions were within a field goal with the ball and a little less than two minutes on the clock. The Lions were once again up in the first half, this time 17-7, when they gave up 28 straight points. And the Lions couldn't get their offense going again until the Eagles went to a prevent defense.

#4 Don't take anything as a moral victory...moral victories are for suckers. Don't say, "we only lost by 3" and think that's improvement. 95% of NFL games are decided by 10 points or less.

#5 Jahvid Best is a stud.

#6 The Lions need to go hurry up during pregame warm ups.

#7 Two years ago, the Lions started every game down by at least 17 points when the clock rolled down to the second quarter. This year, the Lions have been up by at least 10 points midway through the second quarter...but have immediately imploded in both games. No lead is safe with the Lions defense. Expect the Lions to lose every week until they learn how to play with a lead. This is a young team and it needs to "learn how to win." It's a process that we've seen before in Detroit and hopefully it's something that Stafford, Suh, Best and Johnson will learn to do by the end of this season.

#8 A lot of star receivers need to get involved early in order to "stay focused" for the entire game. There have been lots of receivers who have had this tag attached to them, ie Randy Moss, Andre Rison, Herman Moore, etc. I don't know if Megatron falls into this category, but I do know that the Lions are not using him nearly enough. It seems like the Lions could be using Megatron on reverses and bubble screens, something to keep the defense honest. Opposing defenses would be forced to play up on Megatron in order to set up all the deep fly routes that the Lions have been sending him on.

3rd and 3 or less...

The average rush in the NFL goes for 4 yards, but most teams think they have to pass on these downs. 3rd and 3 or less is a chance for teams to play "smash mouth" football and impose their wills on the defense. 3rd and 3 or less is about attitude more than anything else.

The Lions faced 3rd and 3 or less three times on Sunday, going 1 of 2 rushing and 1 of 1 passing. So far the Lions are 2 of 4 running in this situation and 1 of 1 passing.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

The Detroit Lions continue to abhor the traditional sideline cheer squads that decorate the sidelines of other NFL fields. Lions fans continue to suffer under the tyranny of the Ford's and their incomprehensible aversion to professional dance teams--even though The Detroit Pride have begun the process on their own in Detroit.

It seems the Lions are doing everything in their power to dissuade the girls from continuing.

Currently only six of the NFL's 32 franchises have chosen to go without the all important cheer brigades--Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Detroit, Chicago, and the New York Giants.

Tales of the Inept

Next week I will begin the process of tracking the teams who will be in the race for the most important achievement in the NFL. The #1 pick in the draft...the Lions SuperBowl.

Lions Pride reveal proposed uniforms

Items of note for Sunday and beyond...

The Kansas Kid vs The Dark Lord

Let me paint a picture for you....

In a field of golden wheat, only a scant week or so from harvest time, a lazy wind wanders over the wheat stalks rolling like amber waves of...something. I'm not sure what. I think I've heard something like that somewhere before.

Anyway, in that field of rolling grain stands a man. Not an old man with too many years of riding the combine, nor a young man with stars in his eyes thinking about how some day he's going to shake the dirt of this town off his feet and see the world!

Nope, this guy standing in the Kansas wheat field, twirling a football in one hand as he looks off to the west, is roughly thirty years old. He's still got a few years left to realize his dream of becoming a Superbowl winning quarterback. But truthfully, he knows that his time is running out.

He's thrown a million footballs through hanging tires in his lifetime...

But right now, he just needs a job.

This journeyman didn't even start out with dreams of playing the NFL cathedrals on Sunday afternoons. He grew up as a basketball star, playing for his dad the coach. But he did play high school football. And he used that to play a little at the local junior college and he played well enough there that he got a full ride scholarship to an ACC school (Maryland).

He went undrafted though. He hadn't put up particularly brilliant numbers, but a guy who worked for the Minnesota Vikings (Scot Linehan) thought maybe he'd just give the guy a try out...let him throw the ball around the Metrodome for fun for a few days...send him home with a smile, some great stories, and maybe, if he's lucky, a signed jersey.

But that coach saw a little something in the Kansas basketball player and the Maryland QB managed to stick it out for a few years on the bottom of the Vikings roster.

But then there was a coaching change in Minnesota and the kid didn't have any kind of connections with the new staff...he was out on the road again.

This time he ended up in San Francisco with the hope of backing up a #1 overall pick in Alex Smith. A funny thing happened however, Smith never really played that well and the Kansas Kid had to step in and do mop up duties. He even managed to start a few games over the highly touted franchise quarterback.

A quarterback controversy bubbled up in the first year and then raged for another two years before the organization decided they were going to stop wasting the bajillions of dollars they'd given to Alex Smith and handed the starting job over to "star quarterback."

The Kansas Kid was out on the street again, but now he's thirty years old and the life of NFL quarterbacks after thirty is typically very, very short --unless you're the devil who wears the number 4.

But that old coach, the one who saw something in the Kansas Kid those so many years ago had gotten a new gig with this lowlife organization that hadn't won in 50 years....Linehan talked the Lions into trading a sixth round pick for the guy the forty-niners were going to toss on the trash heap.

And so, the Kansas Kid is once again backing up a #1 overall pick, but this time he's wiser. He's seen the writing on the wall and he's come to terms with it. He realizes now that even if he never is the MVP of the SuperBowl...backup NFL QB is a damn good paying job and he's more than happy to have it.

So he took up his clipboard and put those million passes through the hanging tire in the back of his mind.

But last week, The Franchize was disassembled by a fire breathing defensive end named Julius Peppers. That #1 overall pick may be a few weeks away from taking another snap. So the Kansas Kid puts down the clipboard, strings up the shoulder pads and picks up the old scratched and dented helmet.

It's time to play again for the Kansas Kid...

Meanwhile...

The Philadelphia Eagles team plane taxis the runway as the malevolent and dark one, Vick, leans back in his first class seat. Banished once already from the NFL for killing defenseless dogs in a sick and twisted form of sadist sport, Micheal Vick is getting a second chance at life.

He was supposed to be backing up the new "future of Philadelphia" in Kevin Kolb, but the new guy was pounded relentlessly against Green Bay the week before. So Vick gets a chance to take the reigns...

Sporting a darkened visor, black and foul as his soul, Vick will come into Ford Field and do battle against the dregs of the NFL, the Lions.

He claims to seek redemption. He claims that he has paid for his foulest sins, but there is no bleach strong enough to white wash the depths of evil from the man's soul.

Good vs Evil

I could break this game down by positions and talent levels, schemes versus schemes...but this battle, this legendary contest, is not about 34 defenses or 43 defenses, spread offenses or two tight end sets...this is return of the Kansas Kid, just looking for another chance at glory, against the Dark Lord of Evil...

Go Lions!!!! They're probably going to get killed...

More on Lions cheerleaders...

Boy, the Ford's and the Lions organization sure are making it hard for these fans to even cheer as "fans." Click on the pic for the story in the Detnews.

Why the Lions can beat the Eagles...

Shaun Hill

Upon the pedastals of honor in my own personal hallowed halls of the Lions Hall of Fame, there is a high place of honor for a quarterback that was fondly known by both his teammates and his fans as "Brass."

I remember reading in the back pages of the Detroit Free Press sports section one early Summer morning in 1991--in those days, that was pretty much the only time you got Lions news was in the tiny "transactions" blurb buried in the back of the paper-- that the Lions had signed a quarterback named Erik Kramer. Personally, I never thought about it again until training camp, afterall the Lions had just drafted Andre Ware and had gotten the depressingly injury prone Rodney Peete just two years before. Kramer was camp fodder in my mind.

But Erik Kramer turned out to be special.

He beat out the #1 draft bust, Andre Ware, for the backup job that summer and then...as was per usual, Peete got injured, Kramer had to step in.

1991 was an incredible year and Kramer's role in it cannot go unheralded...

Which brings me to Shaun Hill. Kramer was an unheralded, undrafted nobody QB out of an ACC school (North Carolina St.). Hill is an unheralded, undrafted nobody QB out of an ACC School (Maryland).

Hill managed to beat out Alex Smith, another highly touted draft bust in San Francisco building a 10-6 starting record while with the Niners.

In other words, he has found ways to win, despite otherworldly talents. He doesn't possess a massive "throw it through the moon" arm. He doesn't run like a gazelle. He isn't "strong like moose." He's just a quarterback...a football player...who has found ways to win despite his shortcomings.

Jahvid Best will not be so excited this week...

Word on the street, after days of film review, is that Best played like a rookie against the Bears last Sunday. The going theory is that he was too excited and too eager, not letting running plays develop like he could have. He left yards on the field, by not allowing an extra beat or two before plunging head first into the holes provided.

I don't know how much I buy that, but I'm not a professional football coach and I don't have game film to watch...so, if Schwartz says so...

This should not be the case come Sunday. This week the Lions will need Best to break a few and return to the promising young running back stud everybody thought he was in training camp.

We're due...

Calvin Johnson made that catch against Chicago and the Lions were robbed of a victory. I'm looking for a slue of "make up calls" this week. If there is any justice there will be more than a couple "questionable" calls that will amazingly be called for Detroit...perhaps a few holding calls that the refs will miss, an offensive pass interference that is blatantly ignored.

I think it is very possible the Lions win this week, because for every reason on Earth but a faulty, vague and despicable rule the Lions DID win last week.

Why the Eagles will pluck out the Lions' eyes...

The Return of Mornhinweg!

The Lions will face another demon from their past this Sunday when Marty Mornhinweg returns to Ford Field as the Offensive Coordinator/Assistant Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Now the Detroit Lions have never had a head coach leave Detroit to find gainful employment as the head of another organization. This is fact. Sure, Dick Jauron managed, but he was only held the title of interim head coach.

It is very likely that with the mountain of evidence that has been accrued to show how incredibly inept and borderline mentally retarded Matt Millen was during his reign as mayor of Lionsland, that Mornhinweg may break the Lions' Coaching Curse.

Even with the castoffs and renegade losers that Millen decided to keep, Marty was able to produce a decent offense--even while being saddled with Joey Blue Skies. He is in no way associated with 0-16, although his record doesn't actually look a whole lot better.

Since leaving the padded cells of Ford Field and Allen Park, Marty has resided over the offense in Philadelphia, under the employment of perennial playoff contending coach Andy Reid. Now, perhaps his job was made thousands of times easier by being allowed to work with potential Hall of Fame quarterback Donavon McNabb, but his offenses and his playoff results are big, big bonuses on his resume and the rebuilding of his reputation.

Now that Reid has shipped McNabb off to Washington and handed the offense over to Kevin Kolb, if Marty is again successful, this could prove the last nail in the huge billboard to the NFL that reads "It was Millen's fault! Marty can coach!" I mean, just look at the two Marty pictures...he looks so much cooler now with the goatee. You know that has to count for something. It makes him look so much smarter, hipper--dare I say, eviler...

Resurrecting the Anti-Christ of Micheal Vick's career won't hurt him in the eyes of other NFL owners either.

Kevin Kolb is hurt and will most likely not play.

Eagles QB Kevin Kolb was clubbed like a baby seal by the Green Bay Packers last Sunday and is not approved to practice until at least Friday of this week. It's not often a team will allow a player to play in the game on Sunday after missing pretty much every practice, especially when the backup quarterback practically walked on water in your absence.

Vick managed to bring the Eagles back from a 20-3 deficit to a very exciting finish -- losing 27-20. He three for 176 yards and ran for more than another 100. He is a dynamic force.

The kind of force that the Lions have shown for years that they really have no inkling of how to stop. This is the main reason the Lions will crap the bed on Sunday and lose again.

Stafford's Bone Mites...

There is still no definitive word out of Allen Park about when the Franchize will once again grace the field for the Honolulu Blue. Not that the offense looked a whole lot better with him in there before Shaun Hill was forced into action. But still, the offense looked awful all day and even though the Lions went Tight End crazy this year, they are still pushing out a primarily three wide attack and still can't run the ball.

That whole drafting TE Brandon Pettigrew over LT Micheal Oher lookes worse and worse every day.

The Lions are doomed.

This weeks picks...

I struggled to open the season in my picks, managing a mere 9-7 record. Not good.

Here are this weeks picks.

Cincinnati over Baltimore
Green Bay over Buffalo
Dallas over Chicago
Atlanta over Arizona
Tennessee over Pittsburgh
Oakland over St. Louis
Houston over Washington
Indianapolis over New York Giants
Carolina over Tampa Bay
Miami over Minnesota
Philadelphia over Detroit
Kansas City over Cleveland
Denver over Seattle
New York Jets over New England
San Diego over Jacksonville
New Orleans over San Francisco

Stafford has Bone Mites and radioactive syphilis..

The true story may never come out in the free press. These are not "items of interest" that are fit to be consumed by the general public. A high brow ultra conservative establishment like the medical doctors of NFL organizations will not send out a world wide panic in regards to the pathologically contagious dilemma of "Bone Mites."

Right now, word on the street is that Matthew Stafford, The Franchize, could miss anywhere from two weeks to an entire geological epoch of time with what is being called a "Possible Second Degree Shoulder Separation."

In his Monday press conference, Jim Schwartz talked about his quarterback. "He's still dealing with a lot of soreness, he's still dealing with a lot of swelling -- very similar to what occurred to him last year. It's nothing that you can really put a timetable on. You can't say it's one week, two weeks, three weeks or 12 weeks, whatever it is.''

In other words, nobody really knows -- except me, of course. I know it's Bone Mites.

Bone Mites are a very, very dangerous and completely fictitious affliction which turns the bone marrow into a strange amalgamation of cottage cheese and strawberry jelly. Furthermore it turns the bones normal calcium to the consistency of rock candy.

Very contagious, especially in an NFL lockerroom where it usually is seen as a rash of very similar injuries. I was initially made aware of the possibility in the Lions organization after there seemed to be a rash of Groin Gremlins during training camp and OTA's.

Stafford may never be able to play again. He may never be able to lift his arm above the height of his elbow...he may also get leprosy--it's been known to happen.

The fact that both he and Aaron Berry contracted shoulder separations within a few minutes of each other is another sure fire indication of a major Bone Mite infiltration in the Lions lockerroom.

Don't even get me started on how, Mr. Stafford ended up with the radioactive syphilis. It's a strange world here in modern times.

I'm sorry, but I am in no way surprised...

I have very little interest in the New York Jets and their overly boisterous and egomaniacal coach, Rex Ryan. Nor do I have anything but contempt and disdain for the young Sanchize who continously tries to shoulder his way into the the talk of who was the best quarterback in last year's draft--which, if you saw last night's game, that should be pretty much all cleared up now.

What I do find interesting about the Jets though is Inez Sainz. The Mexican reporter from the Azteca network has made claims that the New York Jets made multiple lude comments and remarks to her from across the field as she covered several practices during practice last week. She states that the Jets even went so far as to move some of their drills in ways to ensure that players would be able to "bump" into her on the sidelines.

I tell you this, not because I am "outraged" that a bunch of millionaire, roid-raged athletes could be so Ape-like in their treatment of Ms. Sainz...but because I felt I had to show this picture.

Hey, I know what my readers want.

The "Process" is over now...

It doesn't matter in any way shape or form whether Megatron made the catch or not -- even though we all know he did. The plain and simple fact is, no matter how long we grumble and moan, the dorks over at the NFL offices are not giving us the win over Chicago. It is now time to start the long, ugly fear in figuring out how in the hell we are going to stop the dog killing bastard Micheal Vick this weekend.

Kevin Kolb, who played like complete horse crap last weekend before mercifully being bludgeoned into a concussion, will not practice until at least Friday, which means the ever mobile, ever dangerous, ever loathsome Vick will be taking snaps on Sunday at Ford Field.

I am now in the "process" of strangling myself...

OK, before I get into the absolute absurdity of "the process" of a catch, let me say a few things.

1. The offensive line played abysmally. The fact that Jahvid Best averaged a monumental 1.4 yards per carry on 14 carries has got to be a huge embarrassment to every member of the offensive line. I'm embarrassed to have watched it. If you take out his two touchdown runs, he was even worse. 12 attempts for 9 yards...a whopping 3/4 of a yard per run.

If the Lions can't run against a makeshift Chicago Defensive line who wasn't even putting eight guys in the box...it doesn't look good.

2. Jeff Backus should be going to jail for manslaughter. Yeah, maybe he played well against Peppers the rest of the day, but on the one single most important play of the day, he let the Franchize get creamed. I'm surprised they didn't have to clean Stafford up off the field with a mop.

3. Aaron Berry looked like he might actually be a decent corner...so after his interception...he got hurt. Who knows if we'll ever see him again.

4. Scott Linehan's offense made the wishbone look ultra-radical. Never once, even when Stafford was still standing, did the Lions test the Bears defense deep. I take that back...they did try once in the first half on a Megatron target that managed to come down six inches out of bounds...perhaps another foreboding moment in the game.

5. At approximately 2:18 PM EST the Detroit Lions hit what I believe to be the high point of this entire season. They were up 14-3 on the Bears with under two minutes left in the half. They were causing turnovers, applying pressure, covering up for a weak secondary and they had the Bears pinned deep in their own territory. Everything was looking up.

And then the Honolulu Blue Flash struck.

Matt Forte took a screen pass 89 yards for a touchdown. The Lions get the ball back and Stafford gets disemboweled, fumbling the ball...and so in the space of a minute, that 14-3 lead is a 14-13 lead and everyone who has ever seen a snap of Lions football over the last 50 years knows that the Lions are doomed.

6. As you watched the rest of the game, as the defense seemed to come up with play after play to keep the Lions in the game, if you didn't know with all your heart that it was just a matter of time before the Lions managed to gift the game back to the Bears, then you are a fool. "Hope" is outlawed in Lions-ville.

7. Put a fork in this season if Stafford misses much more than three games. In fact, one has to start wondering if this high priced Messiah isn't actually an injury prone pariah. He has managed to play in only eleven games in a season and one game and he's gotten three different major injuries -- not to mention hurting a shoulder he has already hurt once in college.

8. If Kevin Kolb can't play next week for Philadelphia against the Lions next week...the Lions are dead. Does anybody remember what Dennis Dixon did against the Leo's in the preseason? Mike Vick is 10 times what Dennis Dixon is.

9. The goal line stance in the fourth quarter against the Bears was very, very impressive. Impressive in that Lovie Smith had absolutely no respect for Lions defense.

10. It's gotten to the point where it doesn't matter what happens in the game, you just have to realize that the NFL, the officials and apparently God himself will not allow the Lions to win. Whenever there is a replay review, I am pleasantly shocked and awed if the ruling ever goes for the Lions. It doesn't matter what the replays show, facts have nothing to do with anything that has anything to do with the Lions.

If there is a flag on the field, in my mind, it is already against the Lions. It doesn't seem like penalties happen against the other team. If the Lions get a great play, I am now conditioned to look for the holding call. This is Lions football.

Megatron caught the ball, had both feet down, had his butt down and then turned to get up, putting the ball down -- and that's an incompletion? Apparently, he should still be sitting on his but with one hand on the ball, because as soon as he lets go of that ball --especially when it means a Lions win--it will be an incompletion.

Has anybody ever heard of "completing the process?" Pure insanity.

11. If the Lions really wanted to win, they wouldn't have missed so many damn tackles in the first drive, not allowed the screen pass, blocked...anybody, and not had so many stupid penalties. The game should have never gotten to this point. At one point they had a 4-1 turnover advantage! That shouldn't be a 14-3 lead, that should be 21 or 28 point lead.

3rd and 3 or less

The average run in the NFL goes for 4 yards. Why teams think it is "tricky" or "smart" to try and pass in this situation is actually crazy to me now. I've been banging this drum for a long time now. I will say this, because you can't do anything 100% of the time, all teams should run in this situation 80-90% of the time.

The Lions faced the critical 3rd and 3 or less only twice. Incredibly, the Leos ran twice, converting only once. This season, 1 of 2 rushing.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had Cheerleaders?

Just a little something to help my readers as we continue to suffer under the tyranny of the Ford's and their incomprehensible aversion to professional dance teams.

Currently only six of the NFL's 32 franchises have chosen to go without the all important cheer brigades--Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Detroit, Chicago, and the New York Giants.

Tales from the Inept is coming...

I will also be keeping track of the most important statistic of the season. Wins and Losses. But no, I'm not keeping track of who's winning, because as everybody knows wins aren't in the Lions future. No, I'll keep track of the race to #1, the #1 pick.

Items of note for Sunday and beyond...

Jahvid Best, Savior?

Jahvid Best is not now nor will every be Barry Sanders. The comparisons are starting to come out before the poor kid has even taken his first hand off in a real NFL game. Right now, Best is a rookie speed back with good hands and very questionable durability issues.

He hasn't run for 2000 yards in a season, not even 200 yet. But he has potential, boat loads of potential.

Let's let him score his first touchdown, finish his first big breakaway run in the endzone...lets let him do that for a few seasons, before we start anointing him the next great back.

Nathan Vasher, Savior?

The Lions worked out six year pro cornerback Nathan Vasher yesterday as a possible addition to the weakest area of the team. Vasher has a very good pedigree, but seems to have lost a lot of his luster. Vasher has 19 career interceptions in his six years while playing for the Bears and the Chargers.

Will he be an upgrade? Who knows? Many say that he's lost the aggressiveness which made him such a ball hawk early in his career and that's led to his recent journeyman status.

Fact of the matter is, he will not be signed before the Bears game because of rules in current Collective Bargaining agreement. These rules state that if a player is signed and plays in the first game of the season, his entire yearly contract becomes guaranteed. In signing Vasher after the first game, the Lions can then pay him on a game to game basis and if it doesn't work out, there isn't much of a financial hit to the organization.

Who's going to win on Sunday?

Well, technically, I will. Why? Because I've picked both the Bears and the Lions, unless a meteorite hits the stadium in the third quarter, somebody's going to win. Here's my firm belief, I really like the Lions to win, but I will not jinx them.

I simply have too many questions about the Lions secondary. I don't think they can cover anybody and that means that eventually, when the DL starts to get tired, Cutler will be able to get some time and score a lot of points.

And afterall, this is the Lions--on the road, where they've lost 20 straight--which definitely gives me the fear.

Bears 38, Lions 21.

Why the Lions can win in Chicago...

#1 Mike Martz.

Again, I realize I put him on the reasons why the Bears should win, but the madness of Martz is a very sharp two edged sword. Whereas he can dissect an opposing defense like few others and can definitely produce very high quality play from his players...he's also incredibly stubborn and will surely spend most of his day fighting down the demons deep within him that will be clawing at his soul to go back to his seven step drops and deep passing to take full advantage of the Lions putrid secondary.

If he does that, Cutler will get sacked, probably often.

It is not within Martz's nature to leave such a glaring weakness alone. He is a nasty fiend who loves to use his powerful magnifying glass on burning opposing defenses as much as ants and, as is his fondest desire in the future, people.

#2 Sgt. Pick and Shovel

Lovie Smith saw the Lions abysmal record over the three years that Marinelli steered the ship. He saw the historically worst defenses ever displayed in the game of professional football. He saw 0-16 and he said to himself...."I need that guy!"

Smith is on his deathbed in Chicago. The fans are calling for his underachieving head and then will march on the complex and most likely toss him and GM Jerry Angelo from the tallest building. Their bodies will be tarred and burned. The corpses will be mercilessly left on Michigan Ave to be run over for 24 hours by all forms of passing traffic.

Chicago is a football town. They have let the Chicago Cubs get away with putrescence for years, but they will not be so lenient with their own Monsters of the Midway.

Eight years of Millen would have never stood in Chicago. Millen's head would be displayed on a pike next to the highest flag pole of Soldier Field.

So in these conditions, under this kind of life or death pressure, Smith and Angelo decided their best course of action would be to promote an arguably mentally disabled former Lion coach to the position of defensive coordinator.

I fear that some time in December or November, there's going to have to be a public service announcement in Chicago which will read, "No, we didn't install any new speed bumps on Michigan Ave this week..."

#3 The Franchize

Stafford has looked very, very good this offseason. He now has more than one weapon in his offense. It is no longer the Stafford to Johnson show followed by the Stafford to (quadruple covered) Johnson show.

He now has the ability to hand off to Jahvid Best, a serious threat to score any time he gets the ball. Nate Burleson is now available to take some of the coverage from Megatron, along with two very good tight ends in Scheffler and Pettigrew.

And most importantly, a very porous offensive line has looked very good with the addition of Rob Sims and the return of injured RG Stephen Peterman -- and improved play of Gosder Cherilus.

The Franchize has shown complete command of the offense and for the most part has displayed a much better handle on his decision making, drastically cutting down on his interceptions -- so far.

And did I mention, he's going up against a defense that's being run by Sgt. Pick and Shovel?

The Struggling Ones Picks for Week One

I was invited by Ron Steenhagen, creator of the SSR Logo, to play in his pick'em league this year. As a service to any of my readers, I will post my picks each week. We are not picking against the spread and please do not come to me if you lose your house, cars, wives, pets or children.

This is not advice, this is for entertainment only and, for the most part, these are just wild ass guesses on my part.

Week One

Saints over the Vikings
Colts over the Texans
Steelers over the Falcons
Bengals over the Pats
Titans over the Raiders
Niners over the Seahawks
Packers over the Eagles
Ravens over the Jets
Dolphins over the Bills
Bears over the Lions
Buccaneers over the Browns
Broncos over the Jaguars
Panthers over the Giants
Cardinals over the Rams
Cowboys over the Skins
Chargers over the Chiefs

Why the Bears will completely maul the Lions...

Dr. Mike Martz, Official Evil Genius

The first major league problem the Lions will face this Sunday as they open the 2010 season against the Diabolical Bears of Chicago at Soldier Field is the Evil Genius of Mike Martz.

Listen, maybe this is blowing it out of proportion, but Martz was good enough to make Jon Kitna and the Lions offense look respectable for two years. He's that good.

If that isn't enough to raise the fear in any Lions' fan, I'll pour on the fact that Jay Cutler is much, much more talented than Kitna ever was.

Martz made players out of nobody's like Kurt Warner, Marc Bulger, Isaac Bruce, Azahir Hakim, and Torry Holt. He was actually good enough to make former Lion Roy Williams look like he was worth a first and a third round draft choice...

Martz is certainly smart enough to look over the preseason film of the Lions defense and realize that going no huddle will completely neutralize the Lions only strength -- the pass rush.

Jay Cutler, Potentially Real QB

Jay Cutler boasted a 110+ QB proficiency rating in both of his games against the Lions last season.

Now, granted the Bears may not have the most fearsome group of receivers, but Johnny Knox has proven that he is no slouch and Devin Hester is dangerous any time he can get his hands on the ball.

Matt Forte and Chester Taylor are dangerous weapons out of the backfield.

#1 Reason to Fear the Bears....Julius Peppers vs Jeff Backus

Julius Peppers, when motivated, is quarterback seeking tank. He will most likely smack the aging and undermanned Backus around all day, making him look silly and potentially smashing The Franchize into bite size pieces at least twice on Sunday.

Peppers is long, tall, fast, dangerous and hungry. Jeff Backus will not be able to stop him all day long.

Roster cut surprises...

OK, I know the average fan thinks that the Lions would be just as well off saving the money and letting all of the cornerbacks go, because, afterall, they don't actually cover any receivers. Or in other words they could be replaced by air or ghosts and it would take 3 and a half games for anybody to notice...but, I never thought Martin Mayhew was listening.

When I read the final roster cuts the other day, I was shocked at how many cornerbacks, including Dre Bly and Paul Pratt --the only DB's to actually intercept passes this summer, were shown the door.

There are now only four cornerbacks on the roster, most teams keep at least five or six. Not only that, the Mayhew traded for one of them right before cuts...so the new guy has never even seen the Lions playbook.

What about those guys I talked about last week?

On Wednesday last week I wrote about three players the Lions might be interested in.

Cincinnati CB Dave Jones was traded to Jacksonville for Safety Reggie Nelson. He would have been a very good addition to the Lions secondary.

Kansas City LB Derrick Johnson worked himself out of Todd Haley's doghouse and avoided being cut.

Denver CB Alphonso Smith is now Detroit CB Alphonso Smith.

So what does it all mean?

First of all, it means the Lions have one of the, if not the, youngest secondary in the league. The entire second string has a grand total of one NFL season--and that season was so bad, Denver shipped Alphonso Smith to us. S Randy Phillips, S Amari Spievey and CB Aaron Berry are all rookies--Spievey was the only one even drafted.

In a way, this is the right way to build a team. No longer are the Lions running out and getting old nobodies to act as pylons for opposing receivers. Instead, they are finding young talent and trying to develop them.

In the past, the Lions were awful, horrible, bad and old. There was no real hope for the future. Now, the Lions are awful, horrible, bad and young! There is hope for improvement...