Why the Eagles will pluck out the Lions' eyes...

The Return of Mornhinweg!

The Lions will face another demon from their past this Sunday when Marty Mornhinweg returns to Ford Field as the Offensive Coordinator/Assistant Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Now the Detroit Lions have never had a head coach leave Detroit to find gainful employment as the head of another organization. This is fact. Sure, Dick Jauron managed, but he was only held the title of interim head coach.

It is very likely that with the mountain of evidence that has been accrued to show how incredibly inept and borderline mentally retarded Matt Millen was during his reign as mayor of Lionsland, that Mornhinweg may break the Lions' Coaching Curse.

Even with the castoffs and renegade losers that Millen decided to keep, Marty was able to produce a decent offense--even while being saddled with Joey Blue Skies. He is in no way associated with 0-16, although his record doesn't actually look a whole lot better.

Since leaving the padded cells of Ford Field and Allen Park, Marty has resided over the offense in Philadelphia, under the employment of perennial playoff contending coach Andy Reid. Now, perhaps his job was made thousands of times easier by being allowed to work with potential Hall of Fame quarterback Donavon McNabb, but his offenses and his playoff results are big, big bonuses on his resume and the rebuilding of his reputation.

Now that Reid has shipped McNabb off to Washington and handed the offense over to Kevin Kolb, if Marty is again successful, this could prove the last nail in the huge billboard to the NFL that reads "It was Millen's fault! Marty can coach!" I mean, just look at the two Marty pictures...he looks so much cooler now with the goatee. You know that has to count for something. It makes him look so much smarter, hipper--dare I say, eviler...

Resurrecting the Anti-Christ of Micheal Vick's career won't hurt him in the eyes of other NFL owners either.

Kevin Kolb is hurt and will most likely not play.

Eagles QB Kevin Kolb was clubbed like a baby seal by the Green Bay Packers last Sunday and is not approved to practice until at least Friday of this week. It's not often a team will allow a player to play in the game on Sunday after missing pretty much every practice, especially when the backup quarterback practically walked on water in your absence.

Vick managed to bring the Eagles back from a 20-3 deficit to a very exciting finish -- losing 27-20. He three for 176 yards and ran for more than another 100. He is a dynamic force.

The kind of force that the Lions have shown for years that they really have no inkling of how to stop. This is the main reason the Lions will crap the bed on Sunday and lose again.

Stafford's Bone Mites...

There is still no definitive word out of Allen Park about when the Franchize will once again grace the field for the Honolulu Blue. Not that the offense looked a whole lot better with him in there before Shaun Hill was forced into action. But still, the offense looked awful all day and even though the Lions went Tight End crazy this year, they are still pushing out a primarily three wide attack and still can't run the ball.

That whole drafting TE Brandon Pettigrew over LT Micheal Oher lookes worse and worse every day.

The Lions are doomed.