What to expect in tonight's game...

Please God, don't expect anything.

I have already blogged about how I am very superstitious about football. Way beyond the Curse of Bobby Layne is the very, very real Curse of Fourth Exhibition Game against Buffalo. Or more to the point -- The Curse of Fourth Exhibition Game.

This game is meaningless to every NFL team. It is a simple demonstration game meant as nothing more than the last chance for NFL hangers-on to get some meaningful play on tape for the other 31 teams who are going to be massaging their rosters in two days.

For a team's starters, this game is pure unadulterated, liquefied terror.

There are countless accounts of needless injuries destroying hopeful seasons in the fourth exhibition game. Quarterbacks scrambling for an extra 10 yards on an insignificant play breaking a leg as they get hit on their way out of bounds.

An idiot coach running the team's best running back 10 straight times until he comes out of the game with a separated shoulder and is lost for the first quarter of the season.

The Curse of the Fourth Preseason Game is very real. Coaches fear it. Wayne Fontes made sure that Barry Sanders had "flu-like symptoms" at the end of every exhibition season. Fontes was no fool.

Jahvid Best should be prohibited from even getting on the team bus. Matthew Stafford should be tied up and shoved in a closet for these three useless hours. If the Schwartz is a smart man, and I believe he is, he'll shoot a tranquilizer dart right into Megatron's left butt cheek thirty minutes before kickoff.

Schwartz is a very intelligent man, a graduate from Georgetown majoring in Economics--something that Fontes or Morninwheg or Bobby Ross could never do. It would have probably put Matt Millen into a coma.

Coaches in the NFL are petrified of the last preseason game and Schwartz is no different. I am sure that he has consulted many different resources to ensure that his squad will not be devastated by the curse. He's certainly talked to priests and shamans, witch doctors and Gypsy. He will not ignore the going advice of sprinkling the field with holy water, covering the boundaries and yard lines with blessed purified sea salt, and sacrificing a live goat at the 50 yard line exactly six hours, six minutes and six seconds before kickoff...(Don't worry, they'll never show that on live television, but it'll definitely make it's way on to youtube.)

But what about the guys who actually have to take the field?

This game is all about the bottom of the barrel, the extras and the nobodies. Can Randy Phillips play better this week than he did last? Will Kevin Smith give the Lions a reason beyond just loyalty to keep him on the team. Will DeDe Dorsey or Aaron Brown make the team?

Can anybody play cornerback? Who'll end up finally winning the position at right tackle, Gosder or Jansen?

There are reasons to watch the game, for many of these players it's their last hopes of making an NFL roster, but there are just as many reasons to watch with one hand over your eyes.

Fantasy Football Draft Tonight

Tonight is the draft for my fantasy football league - the Legion of Doom, which is a name that tends to lead more to my prospects of winning any season -- doomed.

I will give a few hints when drafting this year. So that you can do the exact opposite in your league and probably win.

First rule, NEVER DRAFT ANY LIONS, I know we all have high hopes that this year The Franchize is going to break out and have a monster year. We all want to be able to ride the coat tails of our favorite players to victory. That kind of victory is oh, so much, sweeter.

But it never works.

Second rule, SCREW QUARTERBACKS, don't draft any high. I've fallen into this trap several times. "I'll just draft Peyton Manning and I'll be a contender all year." It doesn't work. In fact, typically the difference between Manning/Brady/Brees is typically only 15 to 20 points OVER AN ENTIRE SEASON between quarterbacks you can draft in later rounds. That is not a big enough difference to make you a championship team.

Third rule, SCREW ROOKIES, you never really know who is going to do well when the real bullets start flying and also you don't know who is going to smash head first into the rookie wall in weeks 13 and on (playoff weeks). Also rookies are typically very susceptible to injury (please let Jahvid Best be an exception...please...)

Last rule, SCREW KICKERS AND *^&*! DEFENSES, they are a total crapshoot. Don't waste picks on them until the last two or three rounds. Don't give up good backup players for positions that are such huge gambles.