100 Things the Lions have proven...

Historically, it has been proven that the Lions...

1. will draft another wide reciever.
2. will take a sack to take them out of FG range
3. will not get the pass interference call.
4. will drop the pass.
5. will miss the FG.
6. will let the time run out.
7. will fumble.
8. Will jump offsides
9. will ignore that wide open receiver. (Both on offense and Defense)
10. will not try to shore up the offensive line.
11. will draft a midget cornerback.
12. will blather on nonsensically about picks and shovels
13. will apparently not have good "pad level"
14. will not "raise the bar"
15. will sell out Thanksgiving Day
16. will lose on Thanksgiving Day
17. will listen to the rest of the country bitch about once again having to watch the Lions lose on Thanksgiving.
18. will make your quarterback look hall of fame worthy.
19. will make that third string running back look hall of fame worthy
20. will not cover the tight end
21. will not tackle
22. will be fooled again by your screen play
23. will hold
24. will be called for holding
25. will hit you late or out of bounds, especially when it'll give you a first down.
26. will endlessly talk about giving "bus tickets" out of town
27. will abandon what works
28. will let the good free agents leave the team
29. will set the price for other teams on good free agents
30. will draft another idiot you've never heard of, especially when the perfect player is still available
31. will needlessly play veterans instead of playing young players who may end up being good
32. will complain after those same young players have left the team and turned out to be good
33. will change their uniforms...but never back to the throwbacks which are the only ones that really look good.
34. will always waste a timeout
35. will defer and take the wind
36. will overpay for free agents and draft picks, but short change players currently on their roster
37. will be drafting early again this year
38. will never win in Green Bay
39. will never win in Washington
40. will never have a "signature" running play
41. will never win in San Francisco
42. will never be forgiven for not putting a real O-line in front of Barry Sanders
43. will have their #1 draft pick get injured.
44. backup quarterback will always be the most popular guy in town
45. will waste the talent they have
46. will always take what the defense gives them, especially when it's nothing
47. will always need a better running back
48. will always play to the level of their competition and lose or just get blown out all together
49. will drop the easy catch
50. will make the impossible catch when it doesn't matter
51. will draft the glamour position, when the safe pick would do more for the team
52. will draft a TE when you least expect it
53. will give you just enough hope so that they can really crush your spirits
54. will miss the block
55. will overthrow the bomb
56. will watch as the other team catches the hail mary
57. will run outside, when a QB sneak will do just fine
58. will need a touchdown to tie with only a minute left and 80 yards to go
59. will never just need a field goal
60. will give up 3rd and long
61. will follow up a sack or opponents holding call by giving up a huge play
62. love to hear the Vikings blow that stupid horn and watch Green Bay players do the Lambeau Leap
63. will give up a long punt or kick return
64. prefer baton twirlers to cheerleaders
65. will never get cheerleaders
66. will never be sold by William Clay Ford
67. will never get back to the glory days of 8-8 and every other year booted from the playoffs in the first round
68. will never forgive Matt Millen
69. will never forgive Russ Thomas
70. will never forgive Chuck Schmidt
71. will always ignore the defense
72. will lose on a FG as time expires
73. will not recover the fumble
74. will bobble and drop the tipped ball
75. will be called for holding during the long return
76. will be knocked out of bounds inside the five
77. will punt it through the endzone
78. will punt it away on 4th and 1 in enemy territory
79. will take the field goal instead of going for it
80. will fall for the hard count
81. will throw the ball away on fourth down
82. will get tackled two feet short of the first down
83. will run a pattern two feet short of the first down
84. will miss the go ahead FG
85. will miss a FG in the second or third quarter which would have been the margin of victory
86. will play like drunk monkees the minute Brett Favre steps on the field
87. will hire another moron to be GM
88. will not fire that moron GM for at least 8 years
89. will always get injured by their own players in "friendly fire"
90. will twist a knee getting tackled
91. will get the ball poked away at the last moment
92. will fumble the snap
93. will get the punt blocked
94. will fall back on "It's a team game" when they've looked really bad individually
95. will say "There's no such thing as moral victories."
96. will always have to go back and look at the film
97. will say their mistakes are correctible
98. will talk about how they have to just keep working their plan
99. will laugh about the game with the opposing team on the field after the closing whistle
100. will lose.