My two cents on the U of M Coaching Search

Now, granted, I'm a spartans' fan much more than I have ever been a wolverine fan. I grew up in Michigan and, in my zeal for underdogs (ie the Detroit Lions), I chose to follow the green and white more than I ever have followed the maize and blue.

But when I did my stint in the US Navy, all of that changed...not completely upside down, mind you, but significantly. When you are away from home in the service of your country or for whatever other reasons, you look for things that remind you of home...and the University of Michigan gets a lot more nationally televised games than MSU. So when Michigan was on, I rooted for Michigan. Michigan/Michigan State....still root for the spartans...but anyway...

That tells you my U of M pedigree, which is less than substantial. So with that held in mind, let me tell you what I think the children of the block "M" should do with their coaching vacancy.

Now, Jim Harbaugh, Captain Comeback as he was known during his days in Indianapolis...that's pre-Manning if any of you can remember that, is a 98% guarantee to go to the NFL. (Most likely Miami, I heard they're trying to give him $7-8 million a year and his very own blimp.)

Now the alumni want a "Michigan Man," which loosely translated means someone who has a history with the program prior to Rich Rodriguez. The belief is that a "Michigan Man" is a person of high integrity who believes in playing Bo Schembechler three yards and a cloud of dust football.

Now, I'll give you three names of guys who completely embody the spirit of a "Michigan Man" but never played or coached a down in the Big House for Michigan.

Pat Hill, Head Coach Fresno State - Had anybody ever even heard of Fresno State before Pat Hill went there? In his 14 seasons at the small California college, he has managed 11 bowl games and only one below .500 season (5-6). He has coached in the NFL with Cleveland and Baltimore. He has recruited his very small area and put together a top notch program. Pat Hill is the kind of coach any University should want.

Mike Singletary - Sure his tenure with the 49ers didn't exactly go as expected, but Singletary is a legend. He commands a level of respect that few others can. He'll build a dominating defense, which is what the program has been sorely lacking since Lloyd Carr left. He comes with an unfathomable amount of "street cred" in a locker room.

His experience as both an assistant coach for the Ravens, coaching Ray Lewis, and his stints as a coordinator and eventually head coach of the 49ers further give him the experience to take over a program like Michigan. This will help him in recruiting and building a program designed to build "Men."

Chris Spielman- OK, now I know this will never happen, but can you think of anyone who'll understand the deep rooted rivalry of Michigan/Ohio State as well as this former Lions and Buckeye?

Spielman was a coach on the field. He has been covering college football for many years. Talking to coaches every week, breaking down footage and diagnosing plays. Aside from Singletary and Ray Lewis, I've never seen another player play every down with more intensity. This is the kind of person you want leading your team.

Wait! Come back! We're just starting to look good...

OK, so the Lions finish out the season on a 4-0 stretch...not bad, but obviously way too late. 6-10 is pretty impressive, especially when you consider the team was 4-45 over the last 49 prior to the streak.

Granted, the 4-0 streak dropped the boys in Honolulu Blue down from the #2 overall pick to #13, which may hurt the quality of player they are able to draft, but, in all likelihood, they wouldn't be able to pay another top 5 pick's salary. You can't tie up a third of your salary cap in three or four players on a 53 man roster.

That is, provided there is a salary cap next year. Who knows what will shake out between the players and the owners this summer.

To Prince Miller, 6th string CB

Kid, when you get beat for a long, potentially game changing, touchdown pass and you're lucky enough that the receiver drops the ball...don't talk and strut around and tell everybody how good you are. It's pathetic. You were lucky.

The Streak?

OK, so the Lions were able to break the 26 game road losing streak, in fact winning twice in a row on the road. They also ended their horrid streak against divisional foes, when they managed to beat both Green Bay and Minnesota.

Now let's end some significant streaks. How about winning in Washington, that hasn't been done since 1937. How about a victory at San Francisco, hasn't been done since 1975. How about a win at the horrid house of Lambeau...hasn't been done since 1991. What about a victory at Minnesota, assuming they have a stadium next year, that hasn't been done since 1997.

How about just winning a road game against a divisional opponent, that hasn't been done in three years.

Morninweg?

There's another curse I'd really like to see lifted in this offseason. No full time Detroit Lions head coach has every gotten a second opportunity to lead a team after failing with our Leo's. Detroit is the last station on the track for anybody who takes up a Honolulu Blue whistle.

Hopefully, this year that changes. Marty wasn't all that great of a coach for the Lions, but he always managed to put points up on the board. Even with Joey Blue Skies taking snaps for him.

Now, Marty has resurrected the career of Micheal Vick and has the Eagles offense humming for the second season in a row.

And now, people are once again talking about the hot young coaching prospect with a name nobody can spell. Good luck, Marty.

Get some cheerleaders!

Seriously, the Pride is offering to do it all themselves...why won't the Lions break down and affiliate themselves with a real cheer leading squad. Mr. Ford, please join the rest of the league!

You've given up this strange and unusual love of constant losing, please give up your aversion to beautiful women cheering on your sidelines.

Don't expect me to get all excited...

"Wins and losses are all that matter. We know we have a good team, but if you're not winning, you really don't, I guess." -- Cliff Avril.

I can't agree with Mr. Avril more. And now, for the last few weeks anyway, the Lions have been winning. It feels really weird to write that.

I never root against the Lions, but I certainly never bet on them either.

Still, what good does this late season flourish really buy the Lions besides a much lower draft pick? If the season were to end today, they would pick 9th next April--far outside of the Patrick Petersen sweepstakes.

In 1989, Barry Sanders' rookie season, the Detroit Lions finished 7-9, but managed to win six of their final seven games showing the world that they were a dangerous team...

This led them to the glorious 1990 season...1990? Yeah, they went 6-10 that year. Momentum doesn't usually carry over to the next season. Of course, 1991 was the golden year in Lions football in my lifetime. Can we hope for a rebirth in 2012? I'm not holding my breath--not because I don't believe it, but because 2012 is a long way away and I can't hold my breath that long.

The Lions need to get rid of Dominic Raiola, not because he's good for at least one completely ignorant fan incident every year or two, but because he's too damn small to play the position and he gets pushed into the backfield way too often.

A month ago I was calling for a house cleaning at Ford Field...this winning streak hasn't exactly changed my mind yet. It's more of a stay of execution.

Meanwhile, the 49ers are going to call up Bill Parcells...

If the Lions can't get Patrick Peterson, Prince Nakamura is a pretty damn good corner too. Watch the Nebraska bowl game and check him out...but watch LSU too...just in case Peterson falls.

By the way, the Lions have won three in a row...Green Bay without Aaron Rodgers, Tampa Bay (legitimate win, I think) and Miami at home where they're 1-7 this season...It's not all that impressive when you break it down.

The Lions should throw six screens to Jahvid Best a game. Getting him in space is the only way to use him. He can't seem to break tackles. He needs the ball on swing passes and passing routes. He also needs to learn some skills from Maurice Morris and be a 100 times more decisive when running the ball. One cut and go...probably easier said than done, but true none the less.

Minnesota managed to beat the playoff bound Eagles last week...this week will not be a slam dunk like many people seem to think.

This article has taken me two weeks to plod through thanks to the holidays and...I don't really regret it at all. Hope everybody has had great holidays and have a happy new year! Hopefully we'll never see the Devil again and the Lions will get cheerleaders!

I think I hit my head, did you say the Lions won?

I don't want to be completely negative...but that was really, really ugly. Now granted, there are no "winning ugly asterisks" next to that notch the Leo's put in the "W" column last Sunday, but we have to call a spade a spade.

The Packers played most of the game without Aaron Rodgers, or as I call him Snidely Whiplash...and I think that he may have in point of fact gotten whiplash on that hit from Landon Johnson. Now, granted, the Lions didn't face the Snidely one because they themselves knocked him from the contest, which is a big plus.

The defensive front continues to be the only real strength of the Lions, not counting Calvin Johnson...although with the revolving door at quarterback and the sheer stupid reluctance to throwing the ball to him when he's quintuple covered, Johnson is not having nearly as good of a year as he could be. And he's still second in the NFL in touchdown receptions.

The other revelation that came out of the bloodbath that was the Lions first division win in almost three years was this facade of a running game. Sure the Lions rushed for 190 total yards...but how did they do it? They only got 30 yards from Jahvid Best--who for some damn reason is not getting any more screen passes called for him. They got 30 yards from a punt returner. They got 40 yards on QB scrambles...that's something you can really count on going forward. And when everything was on the line on third down...they couldn't get but an inch...unless all they needed was an inch, in that case they could get nothing.

I think the NFL is all about "can you get those three yards?" And I still don't think the Lions can.

Stephen Peterman got a big contract extention a year or two ago...why? This guy's name gets called almost as much as CJ or whoever is being beaten senseless playing quarterback. If you're hearing an offensive lineman's name during the course of a game...it's never good. He's got to go.

Much like the Lions had a single minded, tunnel vision focus on completely overhauling the defensive line last off season, they need to set that laser sight on the offensive line this offseason. Each player on the offensive line has had decent to even good games this season --except Peterson--but none are excellent, none are consistently consistent.

Perhaps Jeff Backus has had his best season of his career...but he still allowed both Stafford and Hill to be trampled and injured by his assigned defender. I still hold that Backus would make a grade A, perhaps even probowl caliber, right tackle.

Cherlilus has been maddeningly inconsistent.

Raiola doesn't make any sense--an undersized center on a line that cannot get two yards in short yardage situations. A center who doesn't understand what constitutes an "illegal snap". OK, I'll admit, I still don't understand that rule...but it's Raiola's job to understand it. He may be a great leader in the locker room, but he's the leader of a mediocre to downright awful offensive line...and who's the first to go when making changes of a "department"? Yep, the leader. He's got to go too.

I haven't heard Rob Sims name but once or twice all season. I think he's probably doing a bang up job.

In conclusion...keep Sims at LG, move Backus to RT and get a new C, RG, and LT.

Seems like a lot, I know. But last year, the Lions were saying that they needed two DT's and a DE....They pulled off those moves pretty well.

3rd and 3 or less

This was a really bad week for the the "3rd and 3 or less, run, run, run!" theory I promote. The Lions were 3 of 4 passing and 0 of 2 rushing on the down that offenses are designed to try and get to. But the overall year standings still bear out. On the season the Lions are 11 of 20 rushing (55%) and 18 of 35 passing (51.4%).

Blocked Punts?

Someday, I hope, I pray, I long to say that the Lions will at least try to block a punt by sending eight men full out upon the punter...but alas, once again, they didn't do it against the Packers.

Fade stop?

Again, the Lions have one of the greatest weapons in the game, an obscenely athletic 6'5 receiver who can run a 4.3. Do they throw the ball up in the endzone where he can out jump the cornerbacks who average a half foot shorter than Calvin? Nope, again, not this week.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

The Lions managed to host a Vikings game this week in Ford Field, for the first time ever, a professional cheer squad roamed the sidelines of a NFL regular season game. I shed a tear that it had to be from a rival NFC central squad.

Come on Ford's! Get on the ball! There's a team ready and waiting, the Detroit Pride! Why don't you just let them go down on the sidelines?

Tales of the inept

The Carolina Panthers (1-12) lost again and continued on their crash course towards the number one pick in the NFL draft...the first draft in history that will include a rookie wage scale.

The Cincinnati Bengals (2-11) jumped up into the number two spot by getting steam rolled 23-7 by the Steelers.

The Buffalo Bills (3-10) beat the Cleveland Browns and continue to play very well. I suspect them to jump the Lions and perhaps get out of the tip five picks.

The Detroit Lions (3-10), now that they see who they might be able to draft at the top of the board this coming April (Patrick Peterson) have decided to start winning.

The Denver Broncos (3-10) fired their head coach before getting destroyed by a really bad Arizona team.

Bring on the Doom!

Somehow, unexplainably, the 2-10 Lions have managed to once again sell out in time to lift the local media blackout.

How this continues to happen is completely beyond my comprehension.

The Lions had to put starting corner back Alphonso Smith and starting defensive end Kyle VandenBosch on the injured reserved list this week...both are now gone for the year.

The defensive backfield will once again turn from almost passable to miserable. The defensive line will lose it's emotional leader.

And this week Green Bay and Snidely Whiplash himself come to town. The Lions cannot handle Aaron Rodgers. I fully expect another quarterback with a perfect QB rating against the Lions.

At least we'll be able to see it...

3rd and 3 or less

The Lions went 1 for 3 running and 3 of 4 passing, which blows up my theory, but put in the context of the entire season does little to change my mind. 3rd and 3 or less means run, run, run!

On the season the Lions are 11 of 18 rushing (61%) and 15 of 31 passing (48%).

Blocked punts?

Nope.

Fade stop?

Another week where the Lions refused to utilize Calvin Johnson in the unstoppable play.
So sad.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

It's so sad that I have to keep writing that line. The Detroit Pride are offering to take the vital role in the Lions organization, but continue to be shunned by the ivory tower and the ancient Ford. So very sad.

Tales of the inept.

The Carolina Panthers (1-11) were blasted by a very mediocre Seattle SeaHawks team.

The Detroit Lions (2-10) are getting comfortable back in their old stomping grounds--second worst overall in the league.

The Buffalo Bills (2-10) gave up their habit of playing well and losing lately, instead they played lousy and were trounced by the Vikings.

The Cincinnati Bengals (2-10) lost a heart breaker to the Saints.

Lions lost to Bears long before losing the lead

The Lions still do not understand that an NFL game is scheduled to run at least 60 timed minutes. They didn't lose when the Bears scored on a first and seven after an egregiously lousy call against the Kong to take the lead. They lost long before that.

Most people would think that getting a turnover and scoring easy points would be something that goes in your team's favor.

But not with the Lions.

The Lions came out of the half with a 17-14 lead. Chicago received the kickoff. Jay Cutler was sacked and fumbled the ball. The Lions recovered the fumble at the Chicago 9 yard line.

1st and Goal at the 9! A chance to really stick it to the Bears and make it 24-14...let the blowout begin! What? That's not what happened?

Three plays later it was 4th and Goal at the 7...they managed only two yards and then punted...sorry, kicked the field goal. All the air had escaped the Lions balloon. The difference between 20-14 and and 24-14 to the Lions, in that situation, is measured by far more than just four points.

The Lions continue to be a team that is petrified of losing, but sees it as inevitable. This is not a team that plays to win. This is not a team with the mental toughness to step on the opponents throat and take victory.

No, this is a team that punts the ball away with five minutes left, losing by four points, in opposing territory. This is a 2-10 team playing not to lose by too big of a margin. This is bad coaching.

But I have a solution--and I know it sounds crazy...

Fire Nick Harris, the Lions punter.

I don't want to see the Lions ever punt again. Why have the crutch of having a punter to fall back on, if you're never going to punt again. And I mean NEVER. Go for it on fourth down--all the time.

Why do I suggest this crazy, ludicrous idea? Because somebody else is already doing it--and succeeding.

Kevin Kelley is the head football coach at Pulaski (Ark.) Academy and he stopped punting after the second week of the season in 2007. He punted twice that season and only once after that second game--and that second punt was an act of good sportsmanship.

Kelley won the state championship in 2007. He was interviewed by Gregg Williams, of TMQ fame.

“They give you four downs, not three,” Kelley told TMQ. “You should take advantage. Suppose we had punted from our own 5. The odds are the opposition will take over at about the 35, and from there the stats say they have an 80 percent chance of scoring. So even if you only have a 50 percent chance of converting the first down, isn’t that better than giving the other side an 80 percent chance of scoring? For fourth-and-short attempts, the odds of converting are a lot better than 50 percent.”

Why should the Lions continue to do what every other team in the league is good at? The Lions are obviously no good at it. The Lions need to go unconventional...

How did Wayne Fontes make the Lions relevant when he first got handed the gig? The run and shoot...oh, and a short little running back named Sanders...but remember The RUN and SHOOT!

Miami rebounded from a 1-15 season to a playoff year by introducing the wildcat. Do I think the Lions should do more wildcat? No, they need to do something really new. Forget the punt.

And I'd take it a step further...never kickoff deep. Always go for the onside. A successful onside kick is as good as a turnover.

Jason Hanson is 40+, his time is very short. The Lions need to find a kicker who specializes in the onside kick.

Page 2 Welcomes Detroit Pride with open arms

Go ahead, click on her...you know you want to.

A little catch up again...for the team that is dead inside...

Now that we have officially entered the heart of draft season in Michigan, my enthusiasm and my dedication to SSR has waned. The latest news that the Kansas Kid may be lost for the rest of the season, leaving the fate of the team for the rest of the season in the hands of one of the biggest Millen rejects...has been a bit of a crushing blow.

Of course, what I find most intriguing and perplexing is that the same day the organization announces this woebegone news, they sell out for the game. What? How does that make any sense at all, besides the fact that Lions fans are beyond insane?

3rd and 3 or less

The Lions only faced three 3rd and 3 or less situations on Thanksgiving--converting 1 of 2 passing and 1 of 1 rushing. Season totals are 10 of 15 rushing (66%) and 12 of 28 passing (43%). 3rd and 3 or less means run, run, run! When will they ever learn?

Blocked punts?

Yeah, right. This one will run forever.

Fade Stop?

I think the Lions tried to run it twice against the Pats...but both time to Derrick Williams, a receiver who was shorter than his defender--where the advantage was to the defense....weird. Typical Lions.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

It's so sad that I have to keep writing that line. Someday it will change, before or after the Lions are good again, I'm not sure...ha, I said "Lions are good again." It's so absurd now, it's funny.

Tales of the Inept

The Carolina Panthers (1-10) are now the only team ahead of the Lions in the current draft order.

Detroit Lions (2-9) back in the all too familiar #2 spot.

The Buffalo Bills (2-9), who have been playing very well since beating the Lions, took the Steelers deep into overtime before losing on a field goal.

The Cincinnati Bengals (2-9) were schlacked by the New York Jets just a few hours after the Lions crapped the bed against the Pats.

Lions keep up with Thanksgiving Tradition

I am so tired of hearing about how the Lions "play like turkeys"...the Lions "got stuffed again"..they "lose their heads"...they just suck...

I know it's all true...but I tire of hearing it.

It's time to start talking about the draft again now. The Lions are 2-9 and any chance for respectability has, once again, exited stage left for the season.

And even though reporters and sportscasters keep trying to raise the spirit of Phil Simms in regards to Matt Stafford's constant injured status...I don't buy it. For every Phil Simms, an "injury prone" quarterback who rebounded to have a startling career, there are a thousand who haven't and there is nothing in Stafford's demeanor or history that leaves me with any reason to think he is the one in a million Phil Simms and not a Todd Marinovich or Ryan Leaf.

So what do the Lions need? What don't they need? Did you see the fourth quarter on Thanksgiving?

OK, other than Bill Parcells, what do they most need? Linebackers, corners, and offensive lineman.

Let me tell you what I like about this team...Ndamukong Suh, Calvin Johnson, Brandon Pettigrew, and Stefan Logan. Most everybody else, I'm up in the air about.

The Lions went through a lot of effort to build a decent defensive line, so let's see if that can't gel better over the next two years --although VandenBosch is already 34, he will need to be replaced soon...but probably not this year.

The defensive backs were a major league embarrassment last year. Going into this season, everyone was nervous about them, and rightly so, but Chris Houston and Alphonso Smith, Thanksgiving debacle notwithstanding, have proven to be pretty good. But, neither one is the shut down primary corner the Lions need. They are both very good #2's, but neither is a #1. That's what I think the Lions need...a true #1 shutdown corner--if there isn't a left tackle worthy of the #2 pick...

Yeah, that's right, if the draft ended today, the Lions would be right back in their familiar draft slot of #2. Everyone, please keep telling me about how much they've "improved." If you were able to do it with a straight face, you're either a comedian or certifiable.

One thing the Lions have emphatically proven so far this season, is that even if you have a good to great defensive line, if you don't have linebackers, teams will still be able to run on you. Levy missed the first four games and has looked good since coming back, but Peterson has had a rough year and I can't even remember the name of the guy playing opposite of him. Does that tell you anything?

Tomorrow, we can start talking about the offense...

Isn't it refreshing? Everything is back to normal...

All of that blown up nonsense about how this was a different team and that they were "heading in a different direction," it was all just a bunch of useless propaganda and lies. The Lions are no different today than they were three years ago. Oh, sure there are some new players and they supposedly have "bright" futures...but I don't buy it for a second. There are just different names on the backs of the same losing, talent deficient players.

The Lions may never be any good.

That's a hard line for me to write. I've lived and died and shed blood while rooting for this odd assortment of useless swamp gas over the last thirty years. I never really believed that I would say something like that...but there it is--in black and white and for the historical record.

This was the weekend I officially gave up. Was it because they lost to the Cowboys in a purely comical fashion? My wife thought I was choking or something as a strange maniacal laugh crept up my throat and I couldn't stop laughing for two minutes as I watched Cowboys return man Bryan McCann return a punt...that was supposed to be downed inside the three yard line...97 yards for a touchdown. It seems the absurdity of that play kicked me over a final ledge.

The fact that the Lions have horrid coaching, talentless players, inept management and a seemingly blind obsession with losing in more despicable and ludicrous ways every week notwithstanding...I've always managed to maintain my fanaticism for the team.

I now have a bright and shiny new dream.

This is Thanksgiving weekend--a hallowed time in the city of Detroit. This is typically "firing" weekend at Ford Field.

My dream is named "Bill Parcells."

Now, before all of you deluded souls out there start screaming nonsense about how "it's only been two years" and "you have to give them time" and "look what they had to start with", let me say this, look what they have now.

Matt Millen was lauded across the country for drafting Charles Rogers, Joey Harrington, Roy Williams and Kevin Jones. Martin Mayhew is being lauded for Calvin Johnson (even though Megatron is a Millen pick), Matt Stafford, Jahvid Best and Kevin Smith. Is there any difference between these two groups? Really? Because I'm pretty sure that neither group ever knocked on the door of .500.

Both sets have been losers so far.

Parcells has left the Miami Dolphins and may be able to be brought into the Lions organization. Broom out Mayhew and Schwartz for a PROVEN WINNER. Parcells rebuilt the Giants, the Jets, the Patriots, the Cowboys, and the Dolphins. He turned every one of those teams into a playoff team.

Let me say that again...FIVE TEAMS, FIVE PLAYOFF TEAMS....five for five is 100%...I'm not a math wiz, but I'm pretty sure that a guy with a 100% track record has a much higher percentage chance of being successful than the guy who was trained by the WORST GM IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS!

Parcells has flirted with the Ford's and the Lions organization before...rumor has it that he wants to go one more round in the NFL...the ultimate challenge in sports would be rebuilding the lowly Lions.

But it will most likely not happen. It is too obvious for the Ford's to look at. Instead, after the Lions are beaten by 238 points this Thursday in another horrible, horrible showing on Thanksgiving day...they'll spout some more nonsense about "patience" and "rebuilding" and all will stay the same...

Nothing will change, everything will stay the same...the Lions are losers.