Struggling Sports Reporter

Are they really who we thought they were?

2011-09-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody! I'm back.

The Lions are 1-0. It's been four years since they could say that. And really, it's been more than ten years since I actually felt a little confidence about a Lions team...which I'm starting to do now.

The Bucs are a good team. They finished 10-6 last year, barely missing the playoffs...and they haven't taken a step backward this offseason....and the Lions plunked'em good. The final 27-20 score is in no way indicative of how close this game was.

The Lions went into the half up 20-13...and they gave away 10 of those 13 points. Downright handed them over to the Bucs on a platter.

Furthermore, at the end of this game...there wasn't a line of players waiting for the cart...ie nobody suffered any season ending injuries or lost limbs or anything...

There's been a tradition in Lions football for as long as I can remember, week one means dashed and splattered hopes and at least one irreplaceable crucial player will be carted off the field...some taken out back behind the stadium and shot--like a lame horse.

No shots. No cart. No crushed and shattered dreams...the Lions won.

The front seven looked downright formidable. The secondary did it's job...most of the day. The only thing that stopped the offense all day...was a stupid penalty here or there or ultra conservative time running strategies.

So...wow! Pretty cool.

3rd and 3 or less.

As I don't have a normal arm-length list of complaints about this week. I can pull out my time-honored 3rd and 3 or less statistic. The object of offense is to be able to make manageable third down plays. Typically, "manageable" means 3rd and 3 or less.

I have always maintained that since the average NFL rush goes for 4 yards, the largest percentage of play calls in this situation should be runs...you can't do it all the time, you do have to keep the defenses honest...but for the most part...RUN THE BALL.

The Lions faced 3rd and 3 or less three times on Sunday....what did they do? Passed, all three times. How successful were they? 0-3.

Um...let's see if this changes next week.

Fade stop.

The most ultimate goalline weapon in sports, so Herman Moore taught me in the 90's, is the fade stop. On the snap, the tall WR sprints forward to the endzone line, forcing the CB to backpeddle..then he stops at the line, turns around and catches the high thrown ball that only his 6'4 or 6'5 body can get to...

Calvin Johnson is 6'5. He can out jump anybody. Did the Lions do it? Nope. They did run a fade...maybe they're setting something up for the future...but probably not.

Block that punt!

It has been a long...long....really long time since the Lions have even tried to block a punt. I'd really like to see that change this year.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

Just a little something to help my readers as we continue to suffer under the tyranny of the Ford's and their incomprehensible aversion to professional dance teams.

Currently only six of the NFL's 32 franchises have chosen to go without the all important cheer brigades--Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Detroit, Chicago, and the New York Giants.

Fox 2 Reports Killer's passing

2011-08-30T13:01:00.001-07:00

Sorry, found an even older one...

2011-08-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

Mornhinweg's Coaching Staff Almost Complete

2/10/01

The big news this week was the hirings of several Lion's assistants and the beginning of Charlie Batch's indoctrination into the Marty Mornhinweg school of quarterbacking.

The Lion's new staff will consist of:

Jason Arapoff, who was with the Redskins since 1992 and had the title of conditioning director, is now in charge of the Lions' strength and conditioning. Arapoff, 35, played defensive back at Springfield College. He has a master's degree in exercise physiology from American University.

Carl Mauck, 53, was hired as the team's new offensive line coach. He has spent 31 seasons in the NFL as a player and coach. He played for Miami, San Diego and Houston and was line coach for New Orleans, Kansas City, Tampa Bay, San Diego, Arizona and Buffalo. He was with Buffalo the past three seasons.

Maurice Carthon, 39, was a running back for the Giants and Colts in eight NFL seasons. He played on the 1986 and 1990 Giants teams that won the Super Bowl. A protege of retired Giants and Patriots coach Bill Parcells, Carthon was an assistant under Parcells with the Patriots and Jets.

Last season, he was assistant head coach and coached running backs under Al Groh. This year he will be in charge of the Detroit ball carriers and there has been speculation that he will serve as the team's offensive coordinator, although Mornhinweg has stated that he will call his own plays.

Kevin Higgins, whose Lehigh University teams had a 32-1 regular-season record the last three years, was hired Wednesday as the Lions' quarterbacks coach.

Higgins has been Lehigh's coach and quarterbacks coach for seven years. Lehigh won four Patriot League titles and made the NCAA I-AA playoffs the last three years. In the first round of the playoffs, Lehigh beat third-seeded Richmond in 1998 and seventh-seeded Western Illinois in 2000.

Higgins was Lehigh's defensive coordinator for six years before becoming its head coach. Previously, he was an assistant at Richmond and Gettysburg.

Three of Mornhinweg's assistants are holdovers from last year's staff -- Chuck Priefer (special teams), Dick Selcer (defensive backs) and Don Clemons (defense).

Glenn Pires rejoined Lions defensive coordinator Vince Tobin when he was hired Friday as the team's linebackers coach. Pires was an assistant the past five seasons with the Arizona Cardinals, where Tobin was head coach until he was fired in October.

Charles Haley, who terrorized NFL quarterbacks for 12 seasons, has been hired by Lions coach Marty Mornhinweg as a coaching specialist to work with the team's pass rushers.

He won five Super Bowl championship rings and -- as a volunteer instructor with the 49ers last summer -- convinced Mornhinweg he could be an effective teacher.

"I've always liked Charles, both as a player and as a person," Mornhinweg said Thursday. "And I had the opportunity to watch him closely -- and I did that on purpose this past fall camp -- and I thought he did a tremendous job."

Mornhinweg has stated that he is still looking to hire four more coaches before the beginning of the season. Two offensive and two defensive.

And lastly, the Lions have hired Larry Kirksey to coach the wide recievers. Kirksey, the assistant head coach and recievers coach of Texas A&M, worked previously with Mornhinweg in San Francisco in the same capacity.

Email of the Week
The year was 1957, the Detroit Lions featured several "un-coachable" players. Their head coach, George Wilson, was in his first year after former Coach Buddy Parker resigned half-way through PRE-SEASON. Parker stated that the Lions were "the worst I've ever seen in training."

The Detroit Lions in 1957, lost their quarterback Bobby Layne to a broken leg. Their best defensive player was hampered with a bad ankle. They were in dire straights.

But that Detroit Lions team remains the last Detroit Lions team to win an NFL Championship.

They headed into the game against the Cleveland Browns with alot of things against them, but they triumphed 59-14 with a "back-up" (actually Tobin Rote was one of a two-quarterback system in '57) quarterback.

Fast forward to 1964, the Detroit Lions are purchased by William Clay Ford, in the 6 seasons since the Lions won the Championship, they could not muster more than 8 wins in the 14 game seasons. The year after Ford bought the team, George Wilson is forced to resign.

In the 37 years since William Clay Ford bought the Detroit Lions they have won 1 playoff game. Since 1978, the Lions have played in 6 wild card games and never won. The only game they won was a divisional contest against the Cowboys in 1991.

The Lions have petered away awesome talent over the years, Charlie Sanders, Lem Barney, Billy Sims, Alex Karras, Earl Morrall, Barry Sanders, just to name a few. Others have been highly touted only to have their careers die by the hands of inept coaches hired by Ford. To name a few, Chuck Long, Andre Ware, Greg Landry.

Others have come to Detroit after achieving success elsewhere, only to disappear after playing for the Lions; Pat Swilling, Henry Thomas. Some have played mediocre for the Lions and gone on to better things; Earl Morrall led the Dolphins to a Super Bowl victory, Lomas Brown just played in SB 35, there are other examples, but I'll spare you.

Let's name some coaches, Joe Schmidt, Monte Clark, Darryl Rogers, Wayne Fontes, Rick Forzano, Tommy Hudspeth. These are men who were virtually inexperienced as head coaches in the NFL. They coached the Lions and then disappeared off the face of the earth.

There were "great" coaches. Bobby Ross for instance, the one man that Barry Sanders apparently couldn't tolerate. Sure Bobby Ross took the San Diego Chargers to Super Bowl 29. But that doesn't mean he just wasn't lucky, or surrounded by other talented coaches. He sure didn't show much in Detroit.

But, I digress, there is only common factor among these people. WILLIAM CLAY FORD.

I have a hard time accepting the "Matt Millen is in charge" routine, we all know that for the last 37 years it has been WCF.

"My name is Ron, I'm a Lions fan, welcome to my support group"

A Special Thanks to Ron Steenhagen

For providing the struggling one with his nice shiny new logo. Thanks a lot, Ron. It almost makes me feel professional. If anyone is interested in contacting Ron about the use of his excellent services, please email him at admiralron@home.com.

A Blast from the past...

2011-08-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

As I've said, I've been writing about the Lions for a long time....let me show you an old article of mine...

Lions finish dismal season with another disappointing loss

Team stumbles to a 2-8 finish over their last 10 games

1/03/05

The Lions went down with barely a whimper, like so many of the Duck’s fluttering incompletions, 24-19 to a team of blind nuns from Tennessee. OK, maybe they weren’t blind nuns, but Tennessee was down to its third string QB, its second string RB, and its eighth string waterboy. This was a team that was simply praying that the clock would just start moving inexplicably faster and the game could end as quickly as possible. The Lions were playing a team that had already purchased their vacation tickets and were anxious to clear out of that Memphis stadium and hit sunnier climates.

By the way, the clock did repeatedly move inexplicably quicker—a fact that nobody seems to be talking about, but should be looked into by the league.

In the second quarter, with 32 seconds remaining on the clock, Joey called Detroit’s second timeout. The timekeeper allowed the clock to run down to 27 seconds. The next play, Shawn Bryson was pushed out of bounds with 20 seconds remaining and the timekeeper allowed another second to click off before stopping the clock. On the next play, again, Shawn Bryson ran out of bounds with 13 seconds left, but when the ball was snapped again, there was only 12 seconds on the clock.
In the fourth quarter, with 4:23 remaining, Stephen Alexander went down with an injury timeout. When Joey Harrington snapped the ball, there was only 4:12 remaining—where did those nine seconds go?

Reggie Swinton made a fair catch with 2:53 remaining; again the timekeeper allowed an extra tick to pass before stopping the clock. Shawn Bryson ran out of bounds with 2:46 remaining, the timekeeper allowed an additional two ticks. Stephen Alexander fought his way out of bounds with 2:38 remaining, but the game clock ran down to 2:33 before it stopped. Bryson ran out of bounds with 1:31 remaining, but the clock doesn’t stop until 1:28.

Simple math say that’s 20 seconds the Lions were cheated out of.
Is this "homecooking?" Or is it just cheating?

With 1:00 remaining in the game, the Duck called Detroit’s second timeout after Kevin Jones had run the ball up the middle for seven yards on a first down. If the clock read 1:20, do they still call that timeout? With an extra 20 seconds do they perhaps take another chance at running the ball to get those much needed three yards and four more chances at a winning touchdown?

Who knows? Probably, it wouldn’t have made a difference. The Lions didn’t run Kevin Jones on three consecutive downs when they only had three yards to go and still had a timeout in their back pocket. There isn’t much to say that with an extra 20 seconds that Mooch would have changed his philosophy.
But we’ll never know now, will we?

Running Item

I’m officially getting blue in the face while watching the Lions pass over and over again on third and three or less. Kevin Jones averages 3.8 yards a rush why not give him a shot, you’ve got an above average chance of converting—you’re playing the averages.

But what do the Lions do?

With 11:30 left in the first quarter, the Lions had the ball at their own 33 on a third and two. Instead of handing the ball off to Kevin Jones, a back who averages close to four yards a carry, the Duck dropped back and threw short to Shawn Bryson. First down.

With 6:37 left in the first quarter, the Lions faced a third and two from the Tennessee 30. Did the Lions run Kevin Jones up the middle? No. Joey passes short again to Shawn Bryson for four yards. Another first down.

With 8:44 remaining in the first half, the Lions faced third and two from the Tennessee 49. Kevin Jones now? The Duck flicks a seven yard pass to Reggie Swinton on a crossing pattern. Another first down. At this point the Leos are three for three on third and short. Wow. My "Third and Three or less" theory looks like crap right now!

6:38 left in the half, third and three at the Tennessee 35. The Duck drops back again. Incomplete pass to Bryson. Hey, the Lions were still 3 of 4—that’s nothing to squawk at.

27 seconds left in the half, the Lions had just used their first timeout to set up for a third and two from their own 37. Did the Lions secure the first down with a run and then use their second time out? Nope. Harrington passed to Bryson for a 31 yard gain! If this play stood, nobody gripes about it but me. Instead, there was a holding call on Jeff Backus wiping out everything and bringing up a third and twelve. What are the chances there would have been a holding call on a Kevin Jones run?

3 of 5 in the first half on third and three or less, not too bad, but all passes.
The Lions didn’t face another third and short until everything was on the line in the fourth quarter. Facing a third and three on the Tennessee 16 with only 56 ticks left on the clock, needing a touchdown to win, and one timeout still in the bank, did they give the ball to Kevin Jones (who on first down had gained seven yards)? No. Did Tennessee know what the Lions were going to do? Of course they did. The Lions were five for five passing the ball in the same situation! Instead of making sure that they’d get three more chances with the ball…they passed again. Incomplete to Reggie Swinton. Fourth and three? Why not give Jones a chance? Nope, incomplete. End of Season.

Many people complain that Mooch is far too conservative with his offense. I contend that he isn’t conservative enough when it counts. Six for six passing on third and short, that’s not just a trend, it was a guarantee. Something needs to be done to this offense and the play calling. Take your shots downfield often, and run when you really need it—at least %50 of the time. You have to keep defenses honest.

Who the Lions should draft with the tenth pick in the draft:

By losing eight of their final ten games, the Lions have secured the tenth spot in next April’s Draft, also known as "the Lions’ SuperBowl." There are many who think that the horrible theft of a victory against Chicago on a horrible officiating call a week ago was detrimental to the team’s future.

I don't think 10 is a horrible spot, but it is for what the Lions need. I think they really need to address three positions--S, G, and RT. A lot of people are saying DE or LB, but I don't think upgrading positions that we're OK at is going to get the Lions a big leap in the standings next year. They must address areas of real need.

At 10, it's too early for a S or G, and you're probably getting a mediocre T. McDougle is going to go out and test free agency and the Lions won't pay the numbers that he's reportedly going to be asking for. If Alex Barron or D'Brickshaw Ferguson fall to 10, the Lions are golden. If the two stud tackles are both gone, then the Lions have to pray they can find somebody to trade down with.

Personally, I'm glad they were given the Chicago win, they can't afford to keep paying top five pick signing bonuses. Over the last three years the Lions have had #2 pick, a #3 pick and a #6 pick. That’s a lot of upfront cash to dish out and a huge percentage of the team’s overall cap space. If they can move back to the bottom of the first for a second or third, I'd take that in a heartbeat and draft Elton Brown, G Va. He looks awesome and can do it all (C, G, or RT) --a 10-year starter. Then draft a S in the second round to replace Brock Marion, play Terrence Holt instead of Bracy Walker--then go best player available, making sure at least one of those picks is a QB of the future prospect and at least one or two WR's.
By the way, I will be posting several mocks over the next couple of months (probably one a month based on new details as they come out.)

Elton Brown

Leshoure out for season...bad mojo rolling in...

2011-08-09T12:54:00.000-07:00

One down, only 50 or so more to go...

I was really excited about this season. I had dreams...big dreams of playoff runs and meaningful games in December and respectability.

These dreams were all pretty much based off of a great draft class and a four game winning streak to end the season...a winning streak that did not include The Franchise...he was on the sideline watching...

So take that winning streak plus getting the Franchise back plus a good draft class plus a few free agents and you've got the recipe for a big season....right?

Well, let's look at this reasonably.

Yes, Stafford is coming back...that's a big plus. If he stays healthy, and plays as good or better than he has in his first two seasons, I can't see how the Leos can't top eight wins this year.

Now for the bad news...

That "great" draft is going to yield pretty much nothing for at least the first quarter of the season.

First round pick DT Nick Fairly broke his foot the first week of practice and will miss all of the preseason and problaby won't be back to contributing shape for a few more weeks after that. At least we drafted to a "position of strength," hopefully his loss won't kill the team...

Second round pick RB Mikel Leshoure, who everyone was crooning about this preseason, popped his achilles tendon on Monday and will be lost for the season...the Lions have since picked up two...also rans to try and pick up the slack, but this loss will be felt all season in short yardage situations.

Lastly, third round pick WR Titus Young pulled a hamstring on the first day and still hasn't been seen again on the field...who know how long it'll take him to get back and if he's even any good when he does come back.

So...um...they ended last year on a four game winning streak and they didn't have Stafford...now with Stafford, just think how they'll do....because everybody else is dropping like flies.

Good bye Randy, I'll never understand why you were so important to me

2011-08-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

Randy?

Randy Moss is retiring after 13 seasons. He ends his career second in NFL history in both 100 yard receiving games and touchdowns. He should, but because he's acted like douche on countless occasions won't, be a first ballot hall of famer.

And he has also been an incredible god send for this website. And I'm really not sure why.

Here is what I know. At the beginning of last season, one of the many loose screws in Randy's head finally fell out and he went on a crazy tirade in the locker room after a game, claiming that he was no longer going to do interviews...instead, he'd ask himself questions and then let the media know what his answers were...

I posted the transcript of that little trip through crazy town. I don't know if everybody else lost their copy of this or what...but I get over a 1000 Randy Moss hits to my site every month...all searching for this interview. While most of my posts have little more than a 100 pageviews apiece...that Randy Moss interview has almost 20,000...people love them some crazy diva wide receiver.

So as he disappears into the sunset taking all of his worldwide interest and acclaim with him, I'll have to hope some other crazy millionaire will board the crazy train and ride it all the way to insanity junction...and then I can quote his blithering nonsense and all will be well...

This is the NFL...it's full of crazy millionaires.

I'm not all that worried.

It's August 1st...did I miss anything?

2011-08-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

How many probowls again?

The big problem with being a Lions fan...is you know Lions history and every time the team does anything...you can make a parallel to a similar thing they've done...that has failed.

This past weekend the big news was the signing of Stephen Tulloch, a MLB from Tennessee to a one year deal.

There is a lot to like about Stephen Tulloch...but there's nothing to do cartwheels over either. He's only 26 years old...which means he should be coming into his prime...which means they should have locked him up for longer than one year...but...eh...these are the Lions. The one thing that I really like about him is...he's never missed a game in six seasons. There's a lot to be said for the ability to stay healthy in the NFL. He's also played four seasons under the Schwartz in Tennessee...so he knows the system.

But...

Six season, no probowls. Last year, playing middle linebacker he had a career high 111 tackles...111? As a middle linebacker? This is worrisome. As I recall Chris Spielman used to average like 180-200 tackles a year....a middle linebacker has to be a tackling machine...

I hope he grows into a star, which is highly possible playing behind the mega DL the Lions have put together over the last three years...

Welcome Back, Chis Houston!

This is a bigger move in my opinion than the Tulloch pickup. The Lions were looking line up with Eric Wright, who has been on again off again his entire career and Nate Vasher who is on the down, down, down side of his career. Pair that with the fact that Alphonso Smith, last year's most promising CB is already wearing an air cast on his foot and you get a really big need to shore up the CB position.

Houston was good, not great last year, and hopefully, with all the hype about the DL...good will be good enough.

National Reporters are idiots

A couple of years ago it was Dan Pompeii picking the Lions to go to the Super Bowl...this year it's Peter King...now, while I do have a lot more respect for King, they're still both idiots.

Thanks guys, it's hard enough in Detroit as it is...why'd you have to jinx us too?

Welcome Back, NFL! Glad you didn't completely screw the pooch.

2011-07-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

Mo money, mo money, mo...

Now that four months of Billionaires bickering with millionaires over billions of dollars is done...we can get back to football.

I've learned a lot of things in this four moth hiatus.

1. If you put "Randy Moss" in your tags, you will get site hits until the day you die. I have no idea why this is, apparently the world loves it some crazy pot smoking diva wide receivers. Who knew?

2. There are a huge number of people jumping on the Lions bandwagon based on the drafting of Nick Fairly...a guy who never showed up for any of the player organized activities...totally deflating all the "lazy" and "poor work ethic" rumors about Fairly.

3. The Lions still need two linebackers and two corner backs. If these positions continue to be filled by...nobody...the Lions will be just as bad as they have been the last few years.

4. Matt Stafford has apparently been working out a lot this offseason. He is supposedly bigger...here's hoping all that extra muscle mass can keep his joints from falling apart...

5. Free agency and rookie signing is now underway...I'll be back to complain about what they have or haven't done some more soon.

Hey, I missed you guys....

Nick Fairley? Sorry, I'm not on board.

2011-04-29T07:26:00.000-07:00

First of all, any writer that makes a stupid fairly/Fairley pun should be shot in the face. Secondly, I am glad the Lions didn't make a huge mistake and take Da'Quan Bowers. He was available and the Lions could have tricked over themselves and taken him. So that was a plus.

At pick #13 the Lions were staring CB Prince Amukamara right in the face. OT Anthony Castanzo was staring them right in the face. OT and CB were the Lions two biggest needs.

Now, here is where I'm going to give Martin Mayhew some props, but it hurts to do. I'm thinking that what happened last night is that the Lions had absolutely no clue that Nick Fairley might be available. They probably had Patrick Peterson, Marcell Dareus, Von Miller, and Nick Fairley--in that order--at the top of their board. So they stayed true to their scouting and followed their draft board. This is a solid strategy. A strategy that successful teams follow. It's nice to think that the Lions are doing what the good teams in the NFL do. It's weird and unsettling and makes me feel kind of funny.

Picking Fairley does not improve the entire squad as much as a pick of Amukamara would have, but it very likely gives the Lions a defensive front that can be argued to be amongst the best in the entire NFL.

Now this does help the back seven of the defense. If you only have to cover for a second or two, you have a lot better chance of covering, even if you can't cover. But early last season, we learned that you can game plan for a great defensive front by screening and using short drops. Nothing has changed there.

I'll hold my tongue until I see what they do for the rest of the weekend. They are still in GREAT need of drafting at least one CB and two OLBs, plus they have need for a third wide receiver, offensive linemen and a second running back.

Players I'll be happy if the Lions find a way to get.

CB Aaron Williams, Texas
CB Ras I Dowling, Virginia
CB Brandon Harris, Miami
CB Shareece Wright, USC

DE/OLB Jabaal Sheard, Pittsburgh

LB Bruce Carter, North Carolina
LB Akeem Ayers, UCLA
LB Quan Sturdivant, North Carolian
LB Dontae Moch, Nevada
LB Mason Foster, Washington

WR Greg Little, North Carolina
WR Randall Cobb, Kentucky
WR Titus Young, Boise State
WR Edmund Gates, Abilene Christian

RB Mikel Leshoure, Illinois

OT Ben Ijalana, Villanova

The Lions Super Bowl is here again!

2011-04-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

It's NFL Draft day again.

The NFL Lockout has been lifted--as if anybody knows what that really means.

Free agency can begin today, but probably won't. A ton of trades could happen today, but probably won't.

The NFL has appealed the decision which lifted the lockout and it would be bad form to start working like it's business as usual while they're asking the courts to reinstate the lock out. So don't expect any teams to run out and sign players or make trades involving players.

But do look for the Lions to make a trade up if they can get their hands on Amukamara or Petersen...which they probably won't be able to. Don't look for them to take Jimmy Smith...the Ford's avoid potential problem players like Superman avoids kryptonite.

In that same vein, don't be surprised to see them trade up and then take a player they shouldn't--like Da'Quan Bowers. Bowers might get into the league and blow up, but if he does he would be defying all the odds.

Look for them to take a LB in the second round tomorrow too, unless they don't take a DB tonight.

Good luck Lions...please pick somebody that is good AND fills a need. I know Aldon Smith could be a great pass rusher...but that's upgrading a position that you are more set at than LB and DB. Upgrading the DE won't help nearly as much as filling the DB or LB vacancies would. Just saying.

Possible Trade Partners?

2011-04-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

So this is the current draft order leading up to the Leos pick this Thursday.

1. Carolina
2. Denver
3. Buffalo
4. Cincinnati
5. Arizona
6. Cleveland
7. San Francisco
8. Tennessee
9. Dallas
10. Washington
11. Houston
12. Minnesota
13. Detroit

Now the going theory is always to trade down if possible. Why? Because the draft is a complete crap shoot and the more bullets you have the better chance you've got of hitting on some real players. I am almost always on the "trade down" bandwagon.

At least I was until this year. This year, the Lions have a definite defined need. Heck, they have two no arguing about it needs--CB and OLB. Last year was the first year in the last four that the Lions did not finish dead last in pass defense, but the two corners that played the most down the stretch, Alphonso Smith and Chris Houston, cannot necessarily be counted on for next year. Houston is a free agent and Smith flaked out the last few games. The Lions need at least one new corner.

As for OLB, last year the Lions started the season with Zach Follett and Julian Petersen. Petersen is not coming back and Follett may never play again due to a brutal spinal injury. Now, unless they get some kind of sweet heart deal to move back (which is not going to happen) they are currently in no man's land in regards to addressing their current needs. There simply isn't an OLB in this draft worthy of the the 13th overall pick. There are two CB's worthy, but who'll most likely be gone. Patrick Petersen, CB, LSU and Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska are the two gold standard corners in this draft and both will likely be gone by the time the Lions are on the clock.

Now, I've seen a lot of mocks with the Lions getting lucky enough to have Amukamara fall to them, but I've seen just as many that have Houston, Dallas, or Minnesota snagging them up--and Minnesota is famous for stealing players the Lions desperately need.

So they cannot count on getting lucky. They could sit and wait and hope that the Prince is there...but it's very risky and if he's not the Lions will be stuck with taking an OT (which might be a pretty good consolation prize) or reaching for CB Jimmy Smith, Colorado, who has all the talent in the world but a rap sheet not unlike your average gang-banger.

There are other corners and linebackers that can be had in the second through fourth rounds, but the if you need starters, and the Lions do, you'd have to pick multiple CBs and LBs just to make sure you hit on one. Might not be a bad idea to do that anyway, but the Lions only have six picks.

So here's what I think is going to happen. The Lions have a history of making deals with Dallas, who is in need of offensive line help and hold the #9 pick. Jim Schwartz has a very good relationship with the Tennessee Titans who hold the #8 pick. I foresee Patrick Petersen getting picked up either by Arizona or San Francisco. If 'Zona picks Petersen, most likely Frisco will pick the Prince...but if Petersen gets by the Cardinals that'll leave Prince on the board. The Lions will need to jump ahead of Minnesota and Houston to get their hands on Amukamara, which is why I see the Lions giving the #13, a third rounder this year, and a second next year to move up from #13 to #8 and fill arguably the most pressing need on the team.

Da'Quan Bowers? A guy with a career ending injury pre-NFL Draft--That's Lions Logic for ya...

2011-04-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

Da'Quan Bowers celebrating his expected millions.

The latest fad in NFL Mock drafting is to hand Clemson DE Da'Quan Bowers to the Lions at the #13 pick. I am not surprised at this development, nor would I be surprised if Commisioner Goodell made that announcement on Thursday night.

Why? Because it would be a great pick for the Leo's? Of course not. I think that this is simply very forward thinking on the part of the Lions. Why not draft a player who has already endured a career ending knee injury instead of developing a player who will sustain one some time down the road?

Bowers missing a tackle.

Apparently Bowers has already undergone major knee surgery and it has been deemed very likely that he will suffer from arthritis in said bending joint for the rest of his life. History has shown that this kind of chronic pain dramatically shortens the careers of athletes--all athletes.

Other reports state that Bowers will need to undergo more surgeries in order to be able to play at any time in the future. One of these surgeries is known as "Microfracture" surgery, which is not exactly "experimental" but it's pretty close. Microfracture surgery has been hit and miss for NFL players so far. The Lions own Gosder Cherilus underwent the same procedure before last season and didn't he just play lights out last year?

Bowers coming up short again.

Now maybe, just maybe, the Lions believe that because they have a history with said procedures, they think they know how to work with them and would feel comfortable having Bowers take up one of the team tubs for the next ten years...I don't know, but it is a MAJOR red flag.

But it's not even the only red flag surrounding the former Clemson Tiger.

Bowers is the definition of a "one year wonder." This is not a term of endearment. It simply means that in his first two years of playing college ball you were surprised to find out that he was actually on the field at all--because he didn't exactly do much to make you take notice of him.

But when the bright lights came on and he knew he became draft eligible...he lit it up.

Bowers showing how to execute a proper facemask.

Now there are a lot of reasons a guy can be considered a one year wonder...Barry Sanders was one because he played behind Thurman Thomas at Oklahoma State. Bowers played behind...let me get back to you on that one.

Is it necessarily a bad thing that when it really counted, Bowers came shining through? No, not necessarily, but it does make me wonder about how he'll play once he's signed his name to a multi-million dollar contract...does he go right back to being a complacent nobody? It's very possible.

Now, this is kind of likely, because the Lions do have a history of going out on a limb and drafting players with prior injuries.

Shaun Rogers came in with a bad knee...but he ended up playing quite a bit his first season. And he dominated.

Bowers missing a tackle, again. I'm noticing a trend.

But Rogers was a Millen pick...and Millen liked to put gold stars next to anybody's name that might never play again. He loved those guys.

Hopefully Mayhew is smarter than that. His picks of Stafford and Suh are very encouraging. But he did pick Jahvid Best last year, "King of the Youtube Concussion." So who knows which way he'll go.

Furthermore, probably the most important point in not taking Bowers is...DE is not a dire need right now. Chris Houston will most likely be a free agent when the lockout ends--and he was just kind of good. But he was the best corner back we had on our roster.

The Lions NEED a cornerback or two. The Lions do not have a starting caliber outside linebacker on the roster at all right now.

And, oh yeah, there's a reason that Matthew Stafford has ended each of his two seasons on the IR...the offensive line hasn't been able to sufficiently protect him. Maybe the Lions would like Bowers to eventually replace Kyle VandenBosch in two years...but, guys, you have to play this year too.

Hey guys, it's draft season again and ...blah, blah, blah.

2011-04-18T05:56:00.000-07:00

I have never in my life been so UNenthusiastic about the draft...ok, there may have been a year or two when I was more interested in bottles and filling up my diaper...but that was college and everybody goes through that.

No, I don't know, something about the lockout and knowing that the two players that would most help solidify the Lions will be long gone by the time the team picks 13th has just drained me of all energy this year. Usually, I would spend every free moment at work pouring over sportingnews, Great Blue North Report, mlive, cnnsi, and espn to see how all the players rank or how fast they ran a 40...how much their statistics changed from sophomore to junior years...there would be tons of arguments about who would have the most impact on the lowliest defense in the history of the NFL...but this season...nothing. Maybe because there has been no free agency...no excitement...nothing.

So, just because I haven't posted since the end of the season...which seems so long ago...let me give you a few observations about this year's draft that could come back and haunt me for years to come.

The Lions need Patrick Peterson or Prince Amukamara...but they won't get either.

Every QB they're talking about going in the first or second round this year will be a bust. Cam Newton is just not an NFL signal caller.

Nate Solder will be the best of the OT in this draft. He's biggest, strongest, and most fundamentally sound.

Da'Quan Bowers is Andre Wadsworth with an extra apostrophe.

Von Miller could be the next Dwight Freeney.

The Lions need two outside linebackers something fierce. I wouldn't be surprised to see them reach for one in two of the first three rounds.

Colorado CB Jimmy Smith is going to be a star in the league...because he'll have so many people to prove wrong.

The Lions do need an offensive tackle and a center...probably two offensive tackles. No offensive line is perfect, especially when your quarterback is made of glass.

The Ford's will continue to do nothing about the Detroit Pride until the fervor for cheerleaders dies down and then they'll be pompous enough to say "see nobody really wanted them" because they're jerks who don't give a crap about the average fan.

My two cents on the U of M Coaching Search

2011-01-06T09:25:00.000-08:00

Now, granted, I'm a spartans' fan much more than I have ever been a wolverine fan. I grew up in Michigan and, in my zeal for underdogs (ie the Detroit Lions), I chose to follow the green and white more than I ever have followed the maize and blue.

But when I did my stint in the US Navy, all of that changed...not completely upside down, mind you, but significantly. When you are away from home in the service of your country or for whatever other reasons, you look for things that remind you of home...and the University of Michigan gets a lot more nationally televised games than MSU. So when Michigan was on, I rooted for Michigan. Michigan/Michigan State....still root for the spartans...but anyway...

That tells you my U of M pedigree, which is less than substantial. So with that held in mind, let me tell you what I think the children of the block "M" should do with their coaching vacancy.

Now, Jim Harbaugh, Captain Comeback as he was known during his days in Indianapolis...that's pre-Manning if any of you can remember that, is a 98% guarantee to go to the NFL. (Most likely Miami, I heard they're trying to give him $7-8 million a year and his very own blimp.)

Now the alumni want a "Michigan Man," which loosely translated means someone who has a history with the program prior to Rich Rodriguez. The belief is that a "Michigan Man" is a person of high integrity who believes in playing Bo Schembechler three yards and a cloud of dust football.

Now, I'll give you three names of guys who completely embody the spirit of a "Michigan Man" but never played or coached a down in the Big House for Michigan.

Pat Hill, Head Coach Fresno State - Had anybody ever even heard of Fresno State before Pat Hill went there? In his 14 seasons at the small California college, he has managed 11 bowl games and only one below .500 season (5-6). He has coached in the NFL with Cleveland and Baltimore. He has recruited his very small area and put together a top notch program. Pat Hill is the kind of coach any University should want.

Mike Singletary - Sure his tenure with the 49ers didn't exactly go as expected, but Singletary is a legend. He commands a level of respect that few others can. He'll build a dominating defense, which is what the program has been sorely lacking since Lloyd Carr left. He comes with an unfathomable amount of "street cred" in a locker room.

His experience as both an assistant coach for the Ravens, coaching Ray Lewis, and his stints as a coordinator and eventually head coach of the 49ers further give him the experience to take over a program like Michigan. This will help him in recruiting and building a program designed to build "Men."

Chris Spielman- OK, now I know this will never happen, but can you think of anyone who'll understand the deep rooted rivalry of Michigan/Ohio State as well as this former Lions and Buckeye?

Spielman was a coach on the field. He has been covering college football for many years. Talking to coaches every week, breaking down footage and diagnosing plays. Aside from Singletary and Ray Lewis, I've never seen another player play every down with more intensity. This is the kind of person you want leading your team.

Wait! Come back! We're just starting to look good...

2011-01-05T05:52:00.000-08:00

OK, so the Lions finish out the season on a 4-0 stretch...not bad, but obviously way too late. 6-10 is pretty impressive, especially when you consider the team was 4-45 over the last 49 prior to the streak.

Granted, the 4-0 streak dropped the boys in Honolulu Blue down from the #2 overall pick to #13, which may hurt the quality of player they are able to draft, but, in all likelihood, they wouldn't be able to pay another top 5 pick's salary. You can't tie up a third of your salary cap in three or four players on a 53 man roster.

That is, provided there is a salary cap next year. Who knows what will shake out between the players and the owners this summer.

To Prince Miller, 6th string CB

Kid, when you get beat for a long, potentially game changing, touchdown pass and you're lucky enough that the receiver drops the ball...don't talk and strut around and tell everybody how good you are. It's pathetic. You were lucky.

The Streak?

OK, so the Lions were able to break the 26 game road losing streak, in fact winning twice in a row on the road. They also ended their horrid streak against divisional foes, when they managed to beat both Green Bay and Minnesota.

Now let's end some significant streaks. How about winning in Washington, that hasn't been done since 1937. How about a victory at San Francisco, hasn't been done since 1975. How about a win at the horrid house of Lambeau...hasn't been done since 1991. What about a victory at Minnesota, assuming they have a stadium next year, that hasn't been done since 1997.

How about just winning a road game against a divisional opponent, that hasn't been done in three years.

Morninweg?

There's another curse I'd really like to see lifted in this offseason. No full time Detroit Lions head coach has every gotten a second opportunity to lead a team after failing with our Leo's. Detroit is the last station on the track for anybody who takes up a Honolulu Blue whistle.

Hopefully, this year that changes. Marty wasn't all that great of a coach for the Lions, but he always managed to put points up on the board. Even with Joey Blue Skies taking snaps for him.

Now, Marty has resurrected the career of Micheal Vick and has the Eagles offense humming for the second season in a row.

And now, people are once again talking about the hot young coaching prospect with a name nobody can spell. Good luck, Marty.

Get some cheerleaders!

Seriously, the Pride is offering to do it all themselves...why won't the Lions break down and affiliate themselves with a real cheer leading squad. Mr. Ford, please join the rest of the league!

You've given up this strange and unusual love of constant losing, please give up your aversion to beautiful women cheering on your sidelines.

Don't expect me to get all excited...

2010-12-27T11:38:00.000-08:00

"Wins and losses are all that matter. We know we have a good team, but if you're not winning, you really don't, I guess." -- Cliff Avril.

I can't agree with Mr. Avril more. And now, for the last few weeks anyway, the Lions have been winning. It feels really weird to write that.

I never root against the Lions, but I certainly never bet on them either.

Still, what good does this late season flourish really buy the Lions besides a much lower draft pick? If the season were to end today, they would pick 9th next April--far outside of the Patrick Petersen sweepstakes.

In 1989, Barry Sanders' rookie season, the Detroit Lions finished 7-9, but managed to win six of their final seven games showing the world that they were a dangerous team...

This led them to the glorious 1990 season...1990? Yeah, they went 6-10 that year. Momentum doesn't usually carry over to the next season. Of course, 1991 was the golden year in Lions football in my lifetime. Can we hope for a rebirth in 2012? I'm not holding my breath--not because I don't believe it, but because 2012 is a long way away and I can't hold my breath that long.

The Lions need to get rid of Dominic Raiola, not because he's good for at least one completely ignorant fan incident every year or two, but because he's too damn small to play the position and he gets pushed into the backfield way too often.

A month ago I was calling for a house cleaning at Ford Field...this winning streak hasn't exactly changed my mind yet. It's more of a stay of execution.

Meanwhile, the 49ers are going to call up Bill Parcells...

If the Lions can't get Patrick Peterson, Prince Nakamura is a pretty damn good corner too. Watch the Nebraska bowl game and check him out...but watch LSU too...just in case Peterson falls.

By the way, the Lions have won three in a row...Green Bay without Aaron Rodgers, Tampa Bay (legitimate win, I think) and Miami at home where they're 1-7 this season...It's not all that impressive when you break it down.

The Lions should throw six screens to Jahvid Best a game. Getting him in space is the only way to use him. He can't seem to break tackles. He needs the ball on swing passes and passing routes. He also needs to learn some skills from Maurice Morris and be a 100 times more decisive when running the ball. One cut and go...probably easier said than done, but true none the less.

Minnesota managed to beat the playoff bound Eagles last week...this week will not be a slam dunk like many people seem to think.

This article has taken me two weeks to plod through thanks to the holidays and...I don't really regret it at all. Hope everybody has had great holidays and have a happy new year! Hopefully we'll never see the Devil again and the Lions will get cheerleaders!

I think I hit my head, did you say the Lions won?

2010-12-17T06:10:00.001-08:00

I don't want to be completely negative...but that was really, really ugly. Now granted, there are no "winning ugly asterisks" next to that notch the Leo's put in the "W" column last Sunday, but we have to call a spade a spade.

The Packers played most of the game without Aaron Rodgers, or as I call him Snidely Whiplash...and I think that he may have in point of fact gotten whiplash on that hit from Landon Johnson. Now, granted, the Lions didn't face the Snidely one because they themselves knocked him from the contest, which is a big plus.

The defensive front continues to be the only real strength of the Lions, not counting Calvin Johnson...although with the revolving door at quarterback and the sheer stupid reluctance to throwing the ball to him when he's quintuple covered, Johnson is not having nearly as good of a year as he could be. And he's still second in the NFL in touchdown receptions.

The other revelation that came out of the bloodbath that was the Lions first division win in almost three years was this facade of a running game. Sure the Lions rushed for 190 total yards...but how did they do it? They only got 30 yards from Jahvid Best--who for some damn reason is not getting any more screen passes called for him. They got 30 yards from a punt returner. They got 40 yards on QB scrambles...that's something you can really count on going forward. And when everything was on the line on third down...they couldn't get but an inch...unless all they needed was an inch, in that case they could get nothing.

I think the NFL is all about "can you get those three yards?" And I still don't think the Lions can.

Stephen Peterman got a big contract extention a year or two ago...why? This guy's name gets called almost as much as CJ or whoever is being beaten senseless playing quarterback. If you're hearing an offensive lineman's name during the course of a game...it's never good. He's got to go.

Much like the Lions had a single minded, tunnel vision focus on completely overhauling the defensive line last off season, they need to set that laser sight on the offensive line this offseason. Each player on the offensive line has had decent to even good games this season --except Peterson--but none are excellent, none are consistently consistent.

Perhaps Jeff Backus has had his best season of his career...but he still allowed both Stafford and Hill to be trampled and injured by his assigned defender. I still hold that Backus would make a grade A, perhaps even probowl caliber, right tackle.

Cherlilus has been maddeningly inconsistent.

Raiola doesn't make any sense--an undersized center on a line that cannot get two yards in short yardage situations. A center who doesn't understand what constitutes an "illegal snap". OK, I'll admit, I still don't understand that rule...but it's Raiola's job to understand it. He may be a great leader in the locker room, but he's the leader of a mediocre to downright awful offensive line...and who's the first to go when making changes of a "department"? Yep, the leader. He's got to go too.

I haven't heard Rob Sims name but once or twice all season. I think he's probably doing a bang up job.

In conclusion...keep Sims at LG, move Backus to RT and get a new C, RG, and LT.

Seems like a lot, I know. But last year, the Lions were saying that they needed two DT's and a DE....They pulled off those moves pretty well.

3rd and 3 or less

This was a really bad week for the the "3rd and 3 or less, run, run, run!" theory I promote. The Lions were 3 of 4 passing and 0 of 2 rushing on the down that offenses are designed to try and get to. But the overall year standings still bear out. On the season the Lions are 11 of 20 rushing (55%) and 18 of 35 passing (51.4%).

Blocked Punts?

Someday, I hope, I pray, I long to say that the Lions will at least try to block a punt by sending eight men full out upon the punter...but alas, once again, they didn't do it against the Packers.

Fade stop?

Again, the Lions have one of the greatest weapons in the game, an obscenely athletic 6'5 receiver who can run a 4.3. Do they throw the ball up in the endzone where he can out jump the cornerbacks who average a half foot shorter than Calvin? Nope, again, not this week.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

The Lions managed to host a Vikings game this week in Ford Field, for the first time ever, a professional cheer squad roamed the sidelines of a NFL regular season game. I shed a tear that it had to be from a rival NFC central squad.

Come on Ford's! Get on the ball! There's a team ready and waiting, the Detroit Pride! Why don't you just let them go down on the sidelines?

Tales of the inept

The Carolina Panthers (1-12) lost again and continued on their crash course towards the number one pick in the NFL draft...the first draft in history that will include a rookie wage scale.

The Cincinnati Bengals (2-11) jumped up into the number two spot by getting steam rolled 23-7 by the Steelers.

The Buffalo Bills (3-10) beat the Cleveland Browns and continue to play very well. I suspect them to jump the Lions and perhaps get out of the tip five picks.

The Detroit Lions (3-10), now that they see who they might be able to draft at the top of the board this coming April (Patrick Peterson) have decided to start winning.

The Denver Broncos (3-10) fired their head coach before getting destroyed by a really bad Arizona team.

Bring on the Doom!

2010-12-10T11:51:00.000-08:00

Somehow, unexplainably, the 2-10 Lions have managed to once again sell out in time to lift the local media blackout.

How this continues to happen is completely beyond my comprehension.

The Lions had to put starting corner back Alphonso Smith and starting defensive end Kyle VandenBosch on the injured reserved list this week...both are now gone for the year.

The defensive backfield will once again turn from almost passable to miserable. The defensive line will lose it's emotional leader.

And this week Green Bay and Snidely Whiplash himself come to town. The Lions cannot handle Aaron Rodgers. I fully expect another quarterback with a perfect QB rating against the Lions.

At least we'll be able to see it...

3rd and 3 or less

The Lions went 1 for 3 running and 3 of 4 passing, which blows up my theory, but put in the context of the entire season does little to change my mind. 3rd and 3 or less means run, run, run!

On the season the Lions are 11 of 18 rushing (61%) and 15 of 31 passing (48%).

Blocked punts?

Nope.

Fade stop?

Another week where the Lions refused to utilize Calvin Johnson in the unstoppable play.
So sad.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

It's so sad that I have to keep writing that line. The Detroit Pride are offering to take the vital role in the Lions organization, but continue to be shunned by the ivory tower and the ancient Ford. So very sad.

Tales of the inept.

The Carolina Panthers (1-11) were blasted by a very mediocre Seattle SeaHawks team.

The Detroit Lions (2-10) are getting comfortable back in their old stomping grounds--second worst overall in the league.

The Buffalo Bills (2-10) gave up their habit of playing well and losing lately, instead they played lousy and were trounced by the Vikings.

The Cincinnati Bengals (2-10) lost a heart breaker to the Saints.

Lions lost to Bears long before losing the lead

2010-12-06T05:24:00.000-08:00

The Lions still do not understand that an NFL game is scheduled to run at least 60 timed minutes. They didn't lose when the Bears scored on a first and seven after an egregiously lousy call against the Kong to take the lead. They lost long before that.

Most people would think that getting a turnover and scoring easy points would be something that goes in your team's favor.

But not with the Lions.

The Lions came out of the half with a 17-14 lead. Chicago received the kickoff. Jay Cutler was sacked and fumbled the ball. The Lions recovered the fumble at the Chicago 9 yard line.

1st and Goal at the 9! A chance to really stick it to the Bears and make it 24-14...let the blowout begin! What? That's not what happened?

Three plays later it was 4th and Goal at the 7...they managed only two yards and then punted...sorry, kicked the field goal. All the air had escaped the Lions balloon. The difference between 20-14 and and 24-14 to the Lions, in that situation, is measured by far more than just four points.

The Lions continue to be a team that is petrified of losing, but sees it as inevitable. This is not a team that plays to win. This is not a team with the mental toughness to step on the opponents throat and take victory.

No, this is a team that punts the ball away with five minutes left, losing by four points, in opposing territory. This is a 2-10 team playing not to lose by too big of a margin. This is bad coaching.

But I have a solution--and I know it sounds crazy...

Fire Nick Harris, the Lions punter.

I don't want to see the Lions ever punt again. Why have the crutch of having a punter to fall back on, if you're never going to punt again. And I mean NEVER. Go for it on fourth down--all the time.

Why do I suggest this crazy, ludicrous idea? Because somebody else is already doing it--and succeeding.

Kevin Kelley is the head football coach at Pulaski (Ark.) Academy and he stopped punting after the second week of the season in 2007. He punted twice that season and only once after that second game--and that second punt was an act of good sportsmanship.

Kelley won the state championship in 2007. He was interviewed by Gregg Williams, of TMQ fame.

“They give you four downs, not three,” Kelley told TMQ. “You should take advantage. Suppose we had punted from our own 5. The odds are the opposition will take over at about the 35, and from there the stats say they have an 80 percent chance of scoring. So even if you only have a 50 percent chance of converting the first down, isn’t that better than giving the other side an 80 percent chance of scoring? For fourth-and-short attempts, the odds of converting are a lot better than 50 percent.”

Why should the Lions continue to do what every other team in the league is good at? The Lions are obviously no good at it. The Lions need to go unconventional...

How did Wayne Fontes make the Lions relevant when he first got handed the gig? The run and shoot...oh, and a short little running back named Sanders...but remember The RUN and SHOOT!

Miami rebounded from a 1-15 season to a playoff year by introducing the wildcat. Do I think the Lions should do more wildcat? No, they need to do something really new. Forget the punt.

And I'd take it a step further...never kickoff deep. Always go for the onside. A successful onside kick is as good as a turnover.

Jason Hanson is 40+, his time is very short. The Lions need to find a kicker who specializes in the onside kick.

Page 2 Welcomes Detroit Pride with open arms

2010-12-03T13:27:00.000-08:00

Go ahead, click on her...you know you want to.

A little catch up again...for the team that is dead inside...

2010-12-02T05:45:00.000-08:00

Now that we have officially entered the heart of draft season in Michigan, my enthusiasm and my dedication to SSR has waned. The latest news that the Kansas Kid may be lost for the rest of the season, leaving the fate of the team for the rest of the season in the hands of one of the biggest Millen rejects...has been a bit of a crushing blow.

Of course, what I find most intriguing and perplexing is that the same day the organization announces this woebegone news, they sell out for the game. What? How does that make any sense at all, besides the fact that Lions fans are beyond insane?

3rd and 3 or less

The Lions only faced three 3rd and 3 or less situations on Thanksgiving--converting 1 of 2 passing and 1 of 1 rushing. Season totals are 10 of 15 rushing (66%) and 12 of 28 passing (43%). 3rd and 3 or less means run, run, run! When will they ever learn?

Blocked punts?

Yeah, right. This one will run forever.

Fade Stop?

I think the Lions tried to run it twice against the Pats...but both time to Derrick Williams, a receiver who was shorter than his defender--where the advantage was to the defense....weird. Typical Lions.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

It's so sad that I have to keep writing that line. Someday it will change, before or after the Lions are good again, I'm not sure...ha, I said "Lions are good again." It's so absurd now, it's funny.

Tales of the Inept

The Carolina Panthers (1-10) are now the only team ahead of the Lions in the current draft order.

Detroit Lions (2-9) back in the all too familiar #2 spot.

The Buffalo Bills (2-9), who have been playing very well since beating the Lions, took the Steelers deep into overtime before losing on a field goal.

The Cincinnati Bengals (2-9) were schlacked by the New York Jets just a few hours after the Lions crapped the bed against the Pats.

Lions keep up with Thanksgiving Tradition

2010-11-29T07:45:00.000-08:00

I am so tired of hearing about how the Lions "play like turkeys"...the Lions "got stuffed again"..they "lose their heads"...they just suck...

I know it's all true...but I tire of hearing it.

It's time to start talking about the draft again now. The Lions are 2-9 and any chance for respectability has, once again, exited stage left for the season.

And even though reporters and sportscasters keep trying to raise the spirit of Phil Simms in regards to Matt Stafford's constant injured status...I don't buy it. For every Phil Simms, an "injury prone" quarterback who rebounded to have a startling career, there are a thousand who haven't and there is nothing in Stafford's demeanor or history that leaves me with any reason to think he is the one in a million Phil Simms and not a Todd Marinovich or Ryan Leaf.

So what do the Lions need? What don't they need? Did you see the fourth quarter on Thanksgiving?

OK, other than Bill Parcells, what do they most need? Linebackers, corners, and offensive lineman.

Let me tell you what I like about this team...Ndamukong Suh, Calvin Johnson, Brandon Pettigrew, and Stefan Logan. Most everybody else, I'm up in the air about.

The Lions went through a lot of effort to build a decent defensive line, so let's see if that can't gel better over the next two years --although VandenBosch is already 34, he will need to be replaced soon...but probably not this year.

The defensive backs were a major league embarrassment last year. Going into this season, everyone was nervous about them, and rightly so, but Chris Houston and Alphonso Smith, Thanksgiving debacle notwithstanding, have proven to be pretty good. But, neither one is the shut down primary corner the Lions need. They are both very good #2's, but neither is a #1. That's what I think the Lions need...a true #1 shutdown corner--if there isn't a left tackle worthy of the #2 pick...

Yeah, that's right, if the draft ended today, the Lions would be right back in their familiar draft slot of #2. Everyone, please keep telling me about how much they've "improved." If you were able to do it with a straight face, you're either a comedian or certifiable.

One thing the Lions have emphatically proven so far this season, is that even if you have a good to great defensive line, if you don't have linebackers, teams will still be able to run on you. Levy missed the first four games and has looked good since coming back, but Peterson has had a rough year and I can't even remember the name of the guy playing opposite of him. Does that tell you anything?

Tomorrow, we can start talking about the offense...

Isn't it refreshing? Everything is back to normal...

2010-11-22T08:40:00.000-08:00

All of that blown up nonsense about how this was a different team and that they were "heading in a different direction," it was all just a bunch of useless propaganda and lies. The Lions are no different today than they were three years ago. Oh, sure there are some new players and they supposedly have "bright" futures...but I don't buy it for a second. There are just different names on the backs of the same losing, talent deficient players.

The Lions may never be any good.

That's a hard line for me to write. I've lived and died and shed blood while rooting for this odd assortment of useless swamp gas over the last thirty years. I never really believed that I would say something like that...but there it is--in black and white and for the historical record.

This was the weekend I officially gave up. Was it because they lost to the Cowboys in a purely comical fashion? My wife thought I was choking or something as a strange maniacal laugh crept up my throat and I couldn't stop laughing for two minutes as I watched Cowboys return man Bryan McCann return a punt...that was supposed to be downed inside the three yard line...97 yards for a touchdown. It seems the absurdity of that play kicked me over a final ledge.

The fact that the Lions have horrid coaching, talentless players, inept management and a seemingly blind obsession with losing in more despicable and ludicrous ways every week notwithstanding...I've always managed to maintain my fanaticism for the team.

I now have a bright and shiny new dream.

This is Thanksgiving weekend--a hallowed time in the city of Detroit. This is typically "firing" weekend at Ford Field.

My dream is named "Bill Parcells."

Now, before all of you deluded souls out there start screaming nonsense about how "it's only been two years" and "you have to give them time" and "look what they had to start with", let me say this, look what they have now.

Matt Millen was lauded across the country for drafting Charles Rogers, Joey Harrington, Roy Williams and Kevin Jones. Martin Mayhew is being lauded for Calvin Johnson (even though Megatron is a Millen pick), Matt Stafford, Jahvid Best and Kevin Smith. Is there any difference between these two groups? Really? Because I'm pretty sure that neither group ever knocked on the door of .500.

Both sets have been losers so far.

Parcells has left the Miami Dolphins and may be able to be brought into the Lions organization. Broom out Mayhew and Schwartz for a PROVEN WINNER. Parcells rebuilt the Giants, the Jets, the Patriots, the Cowboys, and the Dolphins. He turned every one of those teams into a playoff team.

Let me say that again...FIVE TEAMS, FIVE PLAYOFF TEAMS....five for five is 100%...I'm not a math wiz, but I'm pretty sure that a guy with a 100% track record has a much higher percentage chance of being successful than the guy who was trained by the WORST GM IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS!

Parcells has flirted with the Ford's and the Lions organization before...rumor has it that he wants to go one more round in the NFL...the ultimate challenge in sports would be rebuilding the lowly Lions.

But it will most likely not happen. It is too obvious for the Ford's to look at. Instead, after the Lions are beaten by 238 points this Thursday in another horrible, horrible showing on Thanksgiving day...they'll spout some more nonsense about "patience" and "rebuilding" and all will stay the same...

Nothing will change, everything will stay the same...the Lions are losers.

Picks are looking pathetic.

2010-11-17T09:18:00.000-08:00

I went a very poor 7-7 last week. Bringing my totals to 83-71.

Dolphins over Bears
Packers over Vikings
Titans over Skins
Chiefs over Cards
Ravens over Panthers
Bengals over Bills
Cowboys over Lions
Jets over Texans
Steelers over Raiders
Jags over Browns
Saints over Seahawks
Falcons over Rams
Niners over Bucs
Pats over Colts
Eagles over Giants
Chargers over Broncos

A little catch up

2010-11-17T06:39:00.000-08:00

OK, due to the Lions having harpooned any real hope I've had for them getting better in my lifetime or the subsequent lifetimes of my children and grandchildren, I have been lax this week in regards to the Lions. This combined with the putting the finishing touches on a movie filmed last year and actually having to put in some real "work" at the paying gig...

I'm back today and apparently I haven't missed much. I believe I read somewhere that Matt Stafford had his right arm chewed off at the shoulder in a very freak hottubbing accident in Redford...of course I haven't been able to confirm this.

Let me cover the weekly running items that the Lions malaise sucked me of the energy to write on Monday.

3rd and 3 or less

The Lions couldn't run against the worst rush defense in the NFL...I think they should really start considering punting on second down. They've reached a dingy and faded new level of pathetic.

For the second week in a row, despite trying to "establish the run" the Lions abandoned the run on all 3rd and 3 or less situations. Going 2 of 5 passing. This brings their season totals to 9 of 14 (65%) rushing and 11 of 26 passing (42%). Keep up the good work guys...that's smart coaching...

Blocked punts?

Nope, didn't even come close.

Fade Stop?

Not a one.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

Yeah, it sure would...but the Lions and the Detroit metro area went another week without a single mention of the Detroit Pride.

Tales of the Inept

The Carolina Panthers (1-8) took another unholy beating from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

The Buffalo Bills (1-8) collected their first win of the season against the lowly and pathetic losers, the Lions.

It will not be long until the Lions are back on this list.

The only thing the Lions are good at is breeding apathy

2010-11-15T08:26:00.000-08:00

We've been duped.

1. In the last three years, if the Lions are not providing the only win for the worst team in the league, they are proving that they can do being bad even better, by going winless.

2. The Bills are a bad team...awful. The Lions let them control the entire game. The Lions couldn't run against the team with the worst rushing defense in the NFL. What does that mean? I think it means that the Lions have to petition to play in Division 2A in order to have any hope of being able to run the ball.

3. The offensive line was supposed to be decent, instead they are decrepit.

4. Jahvid Best is not breaking any tackles...he has apparently decided to try and take Kevin Smith's place as "promising, but disappointing."

5. Megatron is supposed to be an all pro NFL receiver and yet he drops two passes in a row on what is supposed to be the game winning drive?

6. This was at least the third game in a row with 10+ penalties against the Lions. If that doesn't scream coaching problem, I don't know what does.

7. Uggg...I just don't care...the Lions....maybe tomorrow....

Items of note for Sunday and beyond

2010-11-12T05:07:00.000-08:00

Shaun Hill did very admirably in his first stint as emergency Lions starting quarterback. Here is hoping he can do the same again on Sunday.

The Lions are not favored against an 0-8 Bills team...people all over the country are talking about how improved the Lions are...but obviously they don't really believe it. The Bills are giving 3 points to the Lions....ouch.

You've got to watch Johnson in this game--no, not Calvin or even Bryant...Steve Johnson. He's the leading receiver for the Bills. His numbers for this season, 41 catches, 554 yards, 6 TDs.

Kevin Smith, Jahvid Best and the offensive line should--I repeat, should--have a field day against the 32nd ranked run defense.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is starting at QB for the Bills now....he's a former Harvard grad. That's pretty much his only claim to fame in the NFL. On the field, he hasn't looked great.

The Lions currently can continue the Bills wretched season or help them stop it. As the only winless team in NFL history, let's hope the Lions continue the Bills' winless season attempt.

Why the Lions will run down the Bills...

2010-11-11T05:09:00.000-08:00

The Return of the Kansas Kid

Here's hoping that Shaun Hill and his broken non-throwing forearm are healthy enough to take direct snaps this weekend. Of course there is always the million to one shot that he'll take every snap from the shotgun and the Lions will usher in a bright new day in NFL football with a sparkling new concept for NFL offenses...the return of the K-Gun or something....

Who am I kidding? Poor guy will probably have his withered arm ripped off and thrown into the stands some time in the second quarter.

Jahvid Best

The kid is due. Best scored five touchdowns in his first two games and has been held out of the endzone ever since. The Bills are currently ranked dead last in rushing defense. Something has got to give.

Calvin Johnson/Nate Burleson

Johnson's game against Revis last week showed the world something...Burleson can pick up the slack. The Buffalo Bills are currently ranked sixth against the pass, which would be good, if you didn't realize that teams aren't passing against them, because they're running out the clock in most cases. They don't pass, because they don't have to.

Either way, the Bills do not have good enough corners to contain both the Lions receivers.

Why the Bills will stampede the Lions...

2010-11-10T07:44:00.001-08:00

Before I go into why the Bills will end their winless season against the Lions this weekend...much like the Rams ended their winless season last year against the Lions, let me say a few things about the future of the Detroit Lions.

It is not looking nearly as bright as it did a few scarce days ago.

From this point forward every fan and member of the Lions organization has have a nugget of terrifying fear that Stafford will go down again with the next hit for a long time...instantly ruining another season.

What do Colt McCoy, Chad Henne, Tavaris Jackson, Matt Schaub, Drew Brees, Charlie Batch, Brian Griese, Jake Plummer, Brett Favre, Randall Cunningham, Frank Reich and Joe Montana all have in common? They were all drafted in the second or third round.

And this is exactly what the Lions will begrudgingly have to do. Use a very vital draft pick to ensure that they have an able backup from now on. Sure Shaun Hill is signed for another year and the Kansas Kid has proven respectable, no doubt. But the fragility of Stafford means that you hope he'll stay injury free, but you're counting on Shaun Hill as your starter...and you cannot count on Drew Stanton to be your backup.

Drew Stanton

This is the main reason the Bills are salivating as they wait for the Lions to come into town. For all intents and purposes Drew Stanton is more a slow running back than a viable NFL quarterback. He has been in training for four years and he has yet to do more than generate a few fourth quarter preseason comebacks. A fourth quarter preseason come back is about as useful as racking up great intramural flag football stats.

They do not equate to the NFL.

@ Buffalo

Does that say enough? The Lions are still in the midst of a 24 game road losing streak. The Lions could be playing St. Peter's Blind Nunnery and if it were at the convent, I'd still be pretty worried.

The Bills

The Bills, though 0-8, have been playing very good football the last three weeks, but they seem to suffer a Lions complex...in other words they do their best to blow it in the end.

We'll see which team wants to win this one less.

Banner week for picks

2010-11-09T12:55:00.000-08:00

In a mammoth comeback, I managed a 10-3 mark last week. This brings me up to a 76-54 record for the season. Again, looking a bit better than sucky...

Ravens over Falcons
Jags over Texans
Bears over Vikings
Bucs over Panthers
Bills over Lions
Jets over Browns
Titans over Dolphins
Colts over Bengals
Chiefs over Broncos
Giants over Cowboys
Cards over Seahawks
Rams over 49'ers
Steelers over Pats
Eagles over Redskins

A Eulogy for Matthew Stafford...

2010-11-09T06:30:00.000-08:00

Let me first say this...injuries are going to happen in the NFL. The idea of having 200-350+ lb men running into each other at high speed a 100 or so times a game leads to inevitable contusions, broken bones, concussions, sprains and a boat load of other injuries.

Injuries are unavoidable, really. Who gets them and when is more luck than anything else. Or bad luck depending on if you're the injured or not.

Injuries are a big part of the game...but they are not a prominent feature in successful careers. Overcoming injuries and avoiding injuries all together are the hall mark of long lasting hall of fame careers.

Stafford has incurred four major injuries in the span of a mere 13 games. He, as of now, is officially "injury prone." This is probably the single worst label that can be pinned on an NFL player. He is not officially done this season, yet. That should happen later on today. Which means that in his two full seasons in the league, he will have played in just over a third of his possible games.

The saddest part for the Lions is that when Stafford has played, he's looked very good. He is a star quality NFL Franchise quarterback. He is the kind of player you build a team around.

But you cannot build around a player that is going to spend two thirds of his time on the bench.

Yes, the Lions can get Stafford surgery to repair his separated throwing shoulder and hope that he comes back strong and with no ill effects--it worked for Sam Bradford--but they cannot count on that happening. Furthermore, they cannot go another game, even another play, with Stafford on the field and not worry every time he takes a hit of any kind.

The tackle he was hurt on on Sunday was a normal football play, a pretty mild one at that.

You cannot have four "freak" injuries in the span of 13 games. After two, they cease to be "freak" and begin to be "alarming."

The Lions must begin making plans for the future that are not completely centered around the former franchise quarterback. Oh, sure they can hope he comes back healthy and dominating and everything they hoped he'd be...but they can no longer justifiably count on it.

Shaun Hill, the Kansas Kid, has proven to be a very reliable backup and the Lions will most likely rush him back onto the field, broken arm and all, with hopes of getting three or four more wins this season.

Drew Stanton has proven that he is not a viable backup in the NFL. Surely he will get chances to prove me wrong this season, but next April the Lions should--need to-- be looking for the second or third round quarterback that slips through the cracks. There seems to be one every year. Colt McCoy was last year and he's putting up good numbers and even winning with the Browns.

You can say that Stanton was one of those quarterbacks, but he was a Millen pick, and if you really believe that, I feel sorry for you.

Sure the hope is that Stafford comes back with a new shoulder and hasn't been destroyed by recurring injuries (Charles Rogers, anybody?). But plans have to be made to cope with the real chance that he doesn't. The Lions have managed to assemble too much talent to let it be wasted by the likes of a Drew Stanton or other third string nobody.

My hatred of the Lions has been fully renewed...

2010-11-08T05:22:00.000-08:00

I know there are different players. I know that the coaching staff is completely changed. I know that we have new management and a new field and...it doesn't matter. These are the "Same old Lions." The Lions had a 10 point lead with just over four minutes left in the game. They couldn't get a first down to run out the clock. They threw incomplete passes to stop the clock and give the Jets more time and when the game was on the line and all they needed was one stop or one first down...they folded like a house of cards.

"Same Old Lions" a definition

1. Absolutely no skill or aptitude for a particular task or assignment; The "Same Old Lions" fail to run the ball. The "Same old Lions" are inept in regards to winning.

2. generally akward or clumsy; haplessly incompetent.

3. inappropriate; unsuitable, out of place.

4. absurd or foolish
5. Unable or unwilling to finish or complete a task

The "Same Old Lions" are a wallowing mass of failure that will creep up your leg and leave you diseased and confused. This is a team without the heart to finish games they clearly have in hand. This game against the Jets was the epitome, the very definition, of "Same Old Lions."

All week the team talked about how they were on the verge of confirming their legitimacy as a dangerous NFL football team--as a competent NFL football team. But alas, they blew it. They were beating a Super Bowl contending team by 10 points with a mere four minutes left in the game...and then, when all was well and good and right in the world...they pissed it away with stupid penalties, horrible blocking and downright stupid play calling.

This game is why the Lions have consistently lost even more fans than games over the last 10 years, if that's even possible.

What makes me most angry is that I bought into it. I looked at the schedule and saw hope for the first time in a very, very long time. But right on cue, the Lions doused any chance of that sticking around.

Oh, and they probably lost Stafford for another huge chunk of the season, if not the rest of the season.

1. I'm just going to come out and say this: Matt Stafford is more delicate than a China Doll. He has the strength and resiliency of paper mache. He is a good quarterback. He was outplaying the Sanchize up until the point he got hurt on an incredibly routine tackle. There was nothing malicious or rough about it. The guy just got tripped up as he left the pocket.

2. He is no longer "The Franchize," he is a $50 million injury settlement waiting to happen.

3. Why is the Lions' second option at kicker a 300 lb defensive tackle? Why not the punter? I'm sure that dude's kicked a few extra points in his career. Hey everybody! Before punters started taking the snaps for field goals, quarterbacks were typically the guys to do it. Are you saying Stanton can't hold for a damn field goal and Harris couldn't have kicked a ^&$^& extra point?!?!?

4. This game was the first one in a very long time that actually caused me to scream uncontrollably.

5. Stephen Peterman needs to go two or three games without a penalty, or else somebody needs to run that bastard over with a truck.

6. Why is Derrick Williams even on the roster? Guy has done nothing but draw game changing detrimental stupid penalties.

7. Why is Bryant Johnson still on the roster? Why do the Lions throw to him? He can't catch.

8. Dominic Raiola has played center long enough to know how to snap the ball and what is illegal and what is not in regards to that. His stupid double flinch was atrocious, but that he argued about it was imbecilic.

9. 3rd and 6 with two minutes left and a three point lead. Worst case scenario the Lions run the ball into the pile for no gain and burn 40 seconds off the clock...right? Nope, the Lions decide to pass, incomplete, and only take 5 seconds off the clock...that's solid game planning. Why the Lions weren't running the clock down to 2 seconds the entire fourth quarter is beyond me.

10. No, it's not beyond me. There's no mystery about it at all. The Lions weren't squeezing every last second out of the clock, because that's what good teams do. They seize control of the game and end it. They don't give the other team repeated chances to get back in it. The Lions didn't do it, because they're not a good team. They're not even good at pretending they are anymore.

3rd and 3 or less.

The Lions cannot run the ball...at all. The offensive line is pathetic and would probably have issues running against a team of ADHD toddlers. But still...the average NFL run is 4 yards a carry, the Lions border on 3. On 3rd and 3 or less...YOU RUN 90% of the time. You won't always get it, no team is effective 100% of the time, but you will get be successful a higher percentage of the time running than you will passing.

So the Lions faced the crucial down and distance only three times on Sunday and what did they do...passed all three times. 1 for 3 passing (albeit the one success was a touchdown, but that doesn't matter in this statistic) 0 for 0 running. On the season, the Lions are 9 of 14 (65%) rushing and 9 of 21 passing (48%) ...

Still haven't blocked a punt

I think the Lions may have actually attempted, once, to block a punt, but I can't be completely sure. Obviously, they weren't successful. They did manage some nice returns, when they weren't called back by stupid penalties.

And apparently the Kong is our new field goal kicker. This is how absurd the Lions are now.

Where is the fade stop?

The most dangerous foolproof play in football was completely ignored again this Sunday. I know Darrelle Revis is really good, but he can't out leap Megatron. Johnson is six inches taller than Revis...they couldn't get that to work...child, please...

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

The Lions organization continues to ignore the attempts of the Pride to become a legitimate sideline cheer squad for Detroit. In my book, this is a huge crime by the Ford's--a crime against Detroit...a crime against humanity...

Oh wait, the Lions are the crime against humanity...no cheerleaders is a parking violation in comparison.

Tales of the Inept...

The Carolina Panthers (1-7) lost 34-3 to the New Orleans Saints as the John Fox farewell tour continues.

The Dallas Cowboys (1-7) lost 45-7 to the Packers in what should probably be Wade Phillips last game coaching the Cowboys. Just in time for the 'Boys to bounce back against the Lions in two weeks.

The Buffalo Bills (0-8) lost to the Chicago Bears 22-19. You don't think the Bills are foaming at the mouth waiting for a Drew Stanton led Lions team to show up next week?

Items of note for Sunday and beyond

2010-11-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

The Lions can get out of the basement of the NFC North with a victory over the Jets and a loss by the Vikings to the Cardinals. I know...keep dreaming.

The Lions sold out this game against the Jets earlier than any other game in years. Many think there will be a playoff atmosphere at Ford Field this Sunday. That's funny...I used "Lions" and "Ford Field" and "playoffs" all in the same paragraph....

The Lions defensive line can be dominant in this game, but the Jets may still manage a decent running game because the Lions linebackers are so mediocre.

If the Lions can force Mark Sanchez to have to make plays in order to win...they'll be in really good shape.

If Ladanian Tomlinson and Shonn Greene can combine for over 150 yards, the Lions will probably lose big.

The Jets wide receivers are pretty overrated. Guys like Braylon Edwards and Santonio Holmes have both shown flashes in their careers, but never been "THE" guy for anybody. This is a matchup that may favor the Jets against Chris Houston and Alphonso Smith...but it could be closer than you'd think.

Franchize vs Sanchize is a big show this Sunday, but don't put too much stock in the winner or loser. Sanchez comes in with a well established running game and the #1 defense in the league.

Farewell Sparky...

I miss Sparky already. I know he'd been out of the spotlight for a long time, but last year when he showed up for the 25th anniversary of the '84 Tigers it really brought back a lot of memories. He was a great man. He'll be missed by anyone who loves the old english "D".

I urge anyone who can to go out and read Anderson's book, "Bless You Boys" about the '84 Tigers.

Why the Lions will dismantle the Jets

2010-11-05T05:03:00.000-07:00

The Defensive Line is looking dominant

The Lions had seven sacks last week against the Redskins--two each by Vanden Bosch, Suh and Avril. Why no sacks for Corey Williams? Because he was the one being double teamed all day leaving the others free in one on one matchups.

Unless the Jets start employing an innovative 9 man offensive line formation, the Lions will be in the backfield with the Sanchize.

Both Willams and Suh demand double teams, if you fail to double either one...one of them will be in the backfield picking his teeth with the broken bones of your quarterback at some point in the game.

Megatron vs Revis Island

Darrelle Revis is the best corner back in the NFL. He is no longer holding out and he is no longer injured. He will be faced up routinely against Calvin Johnson.

This is Johnson's time to prove he is an elite receiver in the NFL. Players prove that they are the best by beating the best. There should be no shortage of motivation for Johnson to play his best game of his career.

The Lions need this one

This is hardly a legitimate reason to proclaim a pending Lions victory, but in a town that has put up with ten years of epic ineptitude, a win against a potential Super Bowl team would be monumental. And it's not completely out of the question. Last week the Jets didn't just lose to the Packers...they were shut out...at home.

Mark Sanchez is a media darling and I'm sure lots of women like to look at him...but he is still very early in his career development at quarterback and he has had very rough stretches this season.

And he has never faced the Kong before either.

I'm hoping...hoping I haven't jinxed them.

Why the Jets will blow past the Lions...

2010-11-03T08:24:00.001-07:00

Now the race is on. The race between the Lions and Vikings to see who can escape the NFC North cellar first.

Granted, the Vikings probably have a much better chance of breaking out this week than the Lions. They face off against a struggling Arizona Cardinals team, while the Lions play the NY Jets, a team with Super Bowl aspirations...but the Jets were beaten last weekend by the Packers in an ugly, ugly 9-0 game.

The Sanchize

Mark Sanchez was drafted just four picks behind the Franchize, but because he was drafted by the Jets, a team with an already dominant defense and a running game, people tend to believe that Sanchez is the better quarterback. After all, he's already been to the playoffs and has been in a GQ spread with that model. These are good reasons to think that way...but it isn't true.

Sanchez has had good stretches this year, but for the most part he has struggled mightily with the Jets offense. For instance, they were shut out last week against the Packers...a team the Leos put 26 points on the board against.

By the way, to any ladies who read my blog, I thought that pic of the Sanchize might be some kind of small consolation for all the cheer babes I post.

Darrelle Revis

Revis is the best corner in the NFL. He will be locked up all day with Megatron. This is the hardest assignment Calvin has every gone up against. This game will probably boil down to how the best corner in the game matches up against the physical freak that is Megatron. Revis has shut down Moss, T.O., Chad Ochocinco...pretty much everyone he has ever faced. If he takes away Megatron from the Lions it could be a long, long day.

Amari Spievey?

As much as I have no confidence in C.C. Brown and have called for Spievey to get more playing time, the fact that the former Iowa corner will now be the Lions full time safety has me more than a little worried.

Amari was victimized on more than a few occasions after he was called to duty on Sunday. He has to step up his game from now on...and hopefully we'll be seeing the future of a very good, young secondary.

I can hope, can't I?

A respectable week for picks

2010-11-03T08:09:00.000-07:00

Not as bad as some weeks, not as good as another...I went 8-5 last week, bringing my season totals to 66-51...not too shabby.

Falcons over the Bucs
Saints over Panthers
Bears over Bills
Jets over Lions
Ravens over Dolphins
Patriots over Browns
Chargers over Texans
Vikings over Cards
Giants over Seahawks
Colts over Eagles
Chiefs over Raiders
Packers over Cowboys
Steelers over Bengals

Interviewing Randy Moss...

2010-11-02T07:28:00.000-07:00

Well, after Randy Moss told the media that he'd only be asking himself questions from now on, I figured I'd just watch and see how the interview of the schizophrenic went.

Randy Moss: Hello, I'm glad you all could make it here today....especially me. I'm really glad I'm here today...in Boston still, I guess.

RM: Randy, how do you feel about being waived by Brad Childress yesterday?

Randy Moss: I was what? That dude done me wrong. Are you serious?

RM: Yes, you were officially released by the Vikings yesterday.

Randy Moss: Wow....I can't believe it. They give any reason?

RM: The details have been shaky, Randy. But I heard them say something about you not buying into the offense, not putting forth a good effort and being generally lethargic. Not paying attention.

Randy Moss: Not paying attention. They got that all wrong. I been telling the coaches all week what to look out for in New England. I told'em all about this dude they got named Tom...Tom Somebody...dude is good. And they didn't listen. It was like they thought they knew that already.

RM: I can't believe they wouldn't listen to you.

Randy Moss: I know man, right? Coach Bellichek is the greatest coach ever. Way better than my coach now...I don't even know that dude's name. Burt or Bennie or...whatever. Dude's a loser.

RM: That's pretty much what you said in your press conference. You think that might have had something to do with you getting cut?

Randy Moss: I said that....I can't remember anything from yesterday...I was so high! What's your name again? You seem cool. I wanna hang with you.

RM: Randy Moss.

Randy Moss: Hey, that's my name! That is so weird.

RM: I know, man. I'm a really big fan!

At this point everything just degenerated into a Randy Moss self-love fest and I got kind of nauseous.

Randy Moss - Post game interview

2010-11-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Randy Moss took crazy and prima-donna wide receiver-ness to a whole new level in his post game comments. Today, he has been waived by the Vikings. Tomorrow, I plan to have an interview with Randy Moss...well, he'll interview himself and then give me the answers.

Transcript:

"I'm going to go ahead and start this thing off. I'm going to go ahead and say this. I think I said something a couple weeks ago. Look, I got fined $25,000 for not speaking to you all. Me personally, I really don't care. But at the same time, I do answer questions throughout the week. For the league to fine me $25,000, I'm not going to answer any more questions for the rest of this year. If it's going to be an interview, I'm going to conduct. So I'll answer my own questions. I'll ask myself the questions, then give y'all the answers. So from here on out, I'm not answering any more questions for the rest of this season. Enough said of that, now we'll get to the game.

"Let me hold it down. Alright. I really haven't had a chance to talk to the guys, so this is no disrespect to the Minnesota Vikings and their organization. The captains, Wilfolk, Tommy Boy, Mayo, Kevin Faulk, man I miss them guys, man, I miss the team. It was hard for me to come here and play. It's been an up and down roller coaster emotionally for me all week. And then to be able to come in here and see those guys, running plays and I know what they're doing, and the success they had on the field, the running game, so I kind of know what type of feeling they have on their locker room, man. I just want to be able to tell the guys, I miss the hell out of them, every last helmet in that locker room.

"I mean, Deion Branch came up to me after the game. I've never had a chance to meet Deion Branch, but it was definitely a pleasure to meet him. Coach Belichick, he gave me an opportunity to be a part of something special. That's something I really take to heart. I actually salute coach Belichick and his team and the success they've had before me, during me and after me. So I'm actually stuck for words, just because of the fact that, man, this is just, a lot of memories here. To the New England Patriots fans, that ovation at the end of the game, that really felt heart-warming. I think I actually shedded a tear for that.

"Like I said, it's been an emotional roller coaster all week. Tried to prepare, tried to talk to the players and coaches about how this game was going to be played, couple tendencies here and a couple tendencies here. The bad part about it, is you have six days to prepare for a team, and on the seventh day, that Sunday, meaning today, I guess they come over and say, 'Dag Moss, I guess you was right about a couple plays and a couple schemes they were going to run.' And it hurts as a player, that you put a lot of hard work in during the week, and at the end of the week, Sunday, when you get on the field, that's when they acknowledge about the hard work that you put in throughout the week. That's actually a disappointment.

"I can't really say enough about this team and this organization. I met with Mrs. Kraft before the game because I really didn't have a chance to talk to her before I left. I thanked Mrs. Kraft for letting me have the opportunity to be a part of something special. The New England Patriots have always been a special organization and I've always watched from afar.

"When I got drafted by Minnesota, and I think I said this a couple weeks ago, I think I felt obligated to bring a Super Bowl to Minnesota. And this season is still not over. Do I know what next season and the future is going to bring? No, I do not. But all I can say is that it's a lot of work that we leave on the field each day.

"There is a lot of film study that we leave in that room each day. I know how hard these guys work in New England and the only thing that I really tried to do was take what the best coach in football history has brought upon me, or the knowledge that he's given me about the game of football, and I tried to sprinkle it off to the guys the best way I know how. So I'm going to go ahead and end this interview, I have my family to see.

"Definitely down that we lost this game because I didn't expect us to lose this game knowing that we had a few things that we had to clean up. But like I said, they played a good game. I wish we could have had that three at the end of the half. Maybe it could have been different. Maybe not. I don't know how many more times I'm going to be up here in New England, but I'm going to leave the New England Patriots, coach Belichick, man, with a salute. Man, I love you guys. I miss you. I'm out."

Welcome to November...month of the Kong.

2010-11-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

This week's article is much more difficult to write due to the local blackout, but going from what I imagined, while listening to the game from right to left on my radio dial, here is what I ascertained.

1. Kong! Two sacks, five tackles, and a fumble recovery for a touchdown. Suh currently leads all defensive tackles in the NFL in sacks...he is well on his way to a defensive rookie of the year award.

2. The Lions should never ever again kick off to Brad Banks or Tony Banks or whatever Banks that guy was...because they can't cover kickoffs.

3. Stafford came back and looked really rusty. Sure he threw four touchdown passes and had a QB rating of over 90. But he dropped back 45 times and accounted for only 215 yards. That's only 4.8 yards per attempt. The good quarterbacks are usually up at 7 or 8. He's got a way to go.

4. I hope I'm not wrong, but I foresee another 3000 Stafford to Johnson touchdown calls.

5. Who was this guy that showed up in a Kevin Smith uniform, because he looked a hell of a lot better than the real Kevin Smith.

6. Nate Burleson needs to start thinking more about ball security and less about looking good.

7. The Lions are still committing way too many penalties. It might work against the Redskins, who have a penchant for giving away games that they should win, but it won't work against the Jets next week and there's no way it'll ever work against the Patriots in a few weeks.

8. The Redskins play an ugly brand of football and then they drag you down to their level. How this team beat the Packers is beyond me. How this team is 4-4 is a huge mystery.

9. An optimist would say the Lions are now tied for third place in the NFC North...but it's still the cellar. The Lions, now 2-5, are tied for last with the Minnesota Vikings. I bet those guys are really glad they flew down to Kiln to talk the Devil out of hunting squirrel and into coming back and playing for them. He has looked lousy. And it makes me smile.

10. If it wasn't sweet enough to get a win...it looks like the Lions may have lost C.C. Brown for the season too. Now, I'm not happy the guy got hurt. I'd never wish misery on anybody. But the Lions are now pretty much forced to put Amari Spievey out on the field now to see if he can be the long time safety partner to Delmas. I don't know if Spievey is the guy, but I do know that Brown wasn't.

3rd and 3 or less

The Lions did awful on third down in general, but they were also fairly pitiful on 3rd and 3 or less. The Lions were 1 of 3 rushing and 1 of 4 passing. That brings the season totals to 9 of 14 rushing and 8 of 18 passing. My theory that running the ball on 3rd and 3 or less 90% of the time is much more promising than passing is looking really good.

Still haven't blocked a punt

Not only will the Lions seemingly never block a punt, mostly from pure lack of trying, but it appears that they no longer have the ability to cover a kickoff either. Banks had two kickoff returns for touchdowns yesterday (one was called back on a penalty) . That's really, really bad special teams.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

Beyond the fact that the game was blacked out in the Detroit market another reason that most Lions fans should have hoped for an away game against the Redskins, besides the chance of ending the road losing streak, is the fact that the Redskins have one of the preeminent cheer squads in the NFL. Most impressive.

Where's the fade stop?

Now, I can't really complain about the Lions not using the most unstoppable play in the modern era of football this week. One, because I didn't actually "see" the game and can't tell you how close they came to running it. Also, Megatron had three touchdown catches on the day. The Lions coaching staff was doing a pretty good job of using him...you can't argue with results.

Tales of the Inept

Every year the Lions race to their version of the Super Bowl--eagerly losing game after game after game to secure the highest possible pick...but so far this year, even though the Lions have only managed a measly two victories, they are far behind in their annual race to total ineptitude.

1-6 Dallas Cowboys - The Cowboys rolled over and took everything the Jaguars wanted to give them. Then they crawled under a rock. Currently, they are waiting to see if Wade Phillips will be fired before Tuesday.

1-6 Carolina Panthers - The Panthers lost to the Rams....the team the Lions trounced just three weeks ago. Poor John Fox, a good coach who'll be looking for work after the season.

0-7 Buffalo Bills - The Bills scared me yesterday, taking the Kansas City Chiefs deep into overtime before losing. As much as I hope that the Bills will join the Lions in history as another completely winless team...they've fought pretty hard these last two weeks.

Items of note for Sunday and beyond

2010-10-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

For the first time this season the Detroit local market will be unable to see their Honolulu and Blue warriors due battle...who am I kidding? This might be a good thing. It's probably safer for our hearts and minds. Sure the Lions have spent all week ramping up hope for the rest of the season, but that doesn't mean anything unless it is all backed up with wins.

And if they are unable to do that, there could possibly be a huge backlash...if we could see it.

On the other hand, if it's all true. If all of the planets have aligned...we're going to miss it. And that's a real bummer. Just like last season, when the Lions ended the horrible record breaking losing streak against these same Redskins and the entire metro area had to hear about it second hand...

Bobby Carpenter

It appears, according to several reports, that Carpenter was brought in, not for depth, but more importantly to compete for a starting spot at linebacker. This is a desperate act by a team that is in desperate straights in the middle of their defense.

DeAndre Levy will come back this week, but has been out for pretty much the entire season with groin and ankle injuries. Who knows how long he'll last. Zach Follett was put on the injured reserve list and lost for the season after his near paralyzing neck injury against the Giants. And Julian Petersen has not exactly played up to expectations so far this season.

The Lions already know that linebacker would be one of the top priorities heading into the off season, but they are hoping that they may get lightning in a bottle with Carpenter, another former high round draft pick discarded by his original team. Much like the Lions hope with the acquisitions of Alphonso Smith and Chris Houston...who so far have been fairly impressive...the hope is that Carpenter can become part of the future in the Lions land of misfit toys.

The return of the bomb?

There is a going theory at the moment that with the return of a healthy Franchize and Megatron the Lions may go to a much simpler offensive plan. Instead of having Megatron constantly double and triple teamed on intermediate routes, the best option may be to have him use his 4.3 speed and blaze right past everybody on straight line deep routes which will take full advantage of Stafford's massive cannon of an arm. Here's hoping.

Why the Lions will trounce the Redskins...

2010-10-28T05:11:00.000-07:00

Matthew Stafford is back. Jahvid Best doesn't have any issues with his toes. Nobody has said word one this week about Calvin Johnson's shoulder.

It looks like the Bone Mites and radioactive syphilis have cleared up in the Lions locker room. Everything is looking up--although the Lions did announce yesterday that the "Pain Train," Zach Follett, has been put on IR and lost for the season.

Follett will be replaced by any number of nobodies and rejects--Ashlee Palmer, Landon Johnson, or the newcomer dark horse, Bobby Carpenter.

In other words, the Lions are pretty healthy right now--this should last for approximately one quarter on Sunday. That's Lions' luck.

The Redskins themselves...

Reason #1 to be hopeful this Sunday is the Redskins. This is a team that got trounced by the same team the Lions beat by 38 a few weeks ago. This is a team that needed a miraculous four interceptions to beat the Bears by a mere touchdown.

And furthermore, this is a team that historically has rolled over and died against teams that it technically should be favored to beat. And the Lions certainly fall into that category.

The Franchize

It cannot be overstated how much the Lions really need Matthew Stafford to be good and, more importantly, to stay healthy for the rest of the season. The Lions need his cannon arm to be firing bombs all over Ford Field on Sunday and for the rest of the season. Progress must be made.

If Stafford can look as good as he did in training camp and the preseason, the Lions will be in good shape. If he cracks like a china dish under pressure, we're screwed...possibly for years to come.

Jahvid Best

With Stafford back and the real threat of a vertical passing game, the underneath and running lanes should open up quite a bit for the rookie running back. Best started the season with five touchdown in the first two games, but hasn't gotten into the end zone since.

Best missed Stafford as much as anyone and should hopefully return to his spectacular rookie season, which was on track for an offensive rookie of the year award.

Why the Redskins will scalp the Lions...

2010-10-27T05:42:00.000-07:00

Now, if you put aside all of the loose talk in the media jinxing the crap out of the Detroit Lions, the Lions look like things are definitely swinging in the up direction.

I will not go out on the crazy limbs that some local writers and players are hinting at. There will be no use of the "P" word here.

I will say these few positives though...

1. The Lions are healthier now than most teams in the NFL. Currently it looks like the only starter who won't be able to suit up this Sunday is Zach Follet and, frankly, he wasn't playing all that well to begin with.

2. The schedule looks very favorable. The Lions play six of the final ten games this season at home--including every divisional game. Furthermore, aside from the Patriots on Thanksgiving and the New York Jets, there doesn't appear to be any games that should make the Lions nervous. The Packers are riddled with injuries. The Bears are a complete charade. The Vikings are dealing with an injury to the Devil. The Cowboys are without Tony Romo. The Bills are awful. The Redskins lost to the Rams...the same team the Lions just beat the holy crap out of.

But these are the Lions and they will most likely prove us all wrong. No matter how bright the fire of hope is, the Lions always have a bigger bucket of water to put it out.

DeAngelo Hall

Hall had four interceptions last week. He is a wily veteran who could pray on a young developing quarterback like the Franchize--remember this will still only be Stafford's twelfth start in his career.

In fact the entire Redskins secondary is fairly impressive. Safety Laron Landry is a punishing hitter who demands respect. But none of that will matter if the Redskins defensive line can't generate some push.

But wait...

Albert Haynesworth

There was an unusual sighting of a man mountain in the middle of the Redskins defensive line. The much maligned defensive tackle has been a huge enigma for Washington this season. As he has continually complained about his role in the new Skins defense and tried to cross new head coach Mike Shanahan at every possible turn.

If Haynesworth shows up, he will be a force and could easily dominate the much smaller Dominic Raiola.

Donavon McNabb

Now the Lions have a way of turning every quarterback they face into a future hall of famer, but McNabb is probably already on his way to Canton. McNabb is another savvy veteran who should be able to take advantage of the Lions young and still infantile secondary.

McNabb represents two qualities the Lions have never been good at dealing with...mobility and respectability.

Losing steam with NFL Picks...and I didn't have any to begin with

2010-10-26T05:19:00.000-07:00

Last week was another sub-mediocre showing for the SSR picks department as I went 7-7 to bring my season totals up to 58-46--not good. But better than some local celebrities...

Jets over Packers
Jags over Cowboys
Rams over Panthers
Chiefs over Bills
Patriots over Vikings
Bucs over Cards
Colts over Texans
Broncos over 49'ers
Dolphins over Bengals
Redskins over Lions
Titans over Chargers
Raiders over Seahawks
Steelers over Saints

Items of note for Sunday and beyond

2010-10-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry, the bye week has really got me swamped with other work...but let me leave you this weekend to think about two strange stories that surfaced this week.

Scott Mitchell is a high school football coach in Utah. This is probably a story in and of itself, but not what perplexes me though. It appears he's still just as gutless as ever.

And in other news...Mike Ditka and Joe Paterno think in light of all the stories about concussions this week...the NFL should just give up on helmets all together...Well, more to the point, facemasks. They'd be perfectly happy with leather helmets.

Why the Lions can win the BYE...

2010-10-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

The most important thing to come out of the BYE will be the health of The Franchize. The fact that he'll be starting at home against Washington on Halloween day...will lead to a painful amount of Lions/Costumes stories...It will really be disgusting. "Were these the real Lions or were they in disguise?" That kind of crap, that is way too easy and frankly stomach turning.

A full Arsenal for Stafford

But that's a side note...what's important is that he'll be taking every practice snap for the next two weeks and will be throwing to a full complement of receivers. Burleson, Megatron, Scheffler, and Pettigrew--all healthy, all will be playing. Jahvid Best, Kevin Smith, and Jerome Felton--all completely healthy.

The offense that the Martin Mayhew and Jim Schwartz and Scott Linehan drew up in the off season will be on the field on Halloween...at least for the first snap. After that, who knows.

Will the machine click and pop like it is supposed to? We can only hope, but what will be certain, they won't have any excuses for the offense left.

DeAndre Levy will be back

Levy has been missing since the middle of training camp. The man written in as the starting middle linebacker since the end of last season has only played a handful of snaps all season. He has come out and said that he will be back after the bye against Washington. We can only hope...what's more we can only hope that he is what we hope...if that makes any sense.

Levy is currently nothing but aspirations. The Lions hope he can be what they think he is. We haven't seen anything to say if those hopes are based in any kind of foundation either way yet.

The Lions also signed former first round pick and star Ohio State linebacker Bobby Carpenter this week. Carpenter has been tossed in the garbage by three different NFL teams...we'll see if he has anything in the tank as Zach Follet will most likely still be sidelined from that nasty hit he took last Sunday, which left him in a New Jersey hospital after the game.

Special Teams!

Stefan Logan appears to be the second coming of the smurfs. He is a tiny man who is very good at getting lost on kickoff and punt returns. He is one of the big reasons the special teams are actually turning into a positive this season, where as in the past they were largely ignored.

If only we could block a punt one of these days.

The Pride

The Ford's could win the BYE if they came out positively in favor of the home town ladies who are trying to push the organization into getting a full time pep squad. Cheers to you, ladies!

Why the BYE will destroy the Lions...

2010-10-20T05:44:00.000-07:00

In past years I have always written about how the Lions will probably lose every week, including the bye. Why is this? Because strange, strange things seem to happen when the Lions don't have a game.

Charles Rogers, in the midst of a rookie season that seemed like it would lead to a rookie of the year award, gets tangled up with a player during practice and falls down -- and breaks his collar bone. Rogers is never really ever heard from again....unless you count the police blogs.

So...

Injuries...

The Lions must carefully guard against injuries this week. Yes, the Franchize is supposed to start practicing again this week, taking all of the snaps after spraining his throwing shoulder in the second quarter of the first game of the season.

This would seem to be the perfect "Lions' time" time for something incredibly stupid to happen in order to set Stafford back again...probably for the rest of the season. The Kong may get to close to him and his awesome gravity may knock the quarterback down again on his shoulder...who knows? Dude may trip in the parking lot on the way into the training facility in Allen Park...Schwartz, put Matt in a bubble. That's all I'm saying.

Furthermore, put Ndamukong Suh in a bubble too. The man is a beast and in the tradition of outstanding Lions rookies...he may get hit my a falling piece of space debris or something. Hide him in your basement...

The Penalties will not be corrected...

If the coaching staff is unable to pound, perhaps physically with a rubber mallet, the stupid penalties out of this group of guys, the losing will continue. Offsides and illegal formation penalties are really unforgivable. Unnecessary roughness and personal foul penalties should result in player fines.

Some new and sadistic tactic needs to take hold of the coaching staff that will produce results in the minds of the players. Winning teams do not get penalized back into the stone age.

Some new blood?

Now the trading deadline has officially passed and the Lions sat with their hands in their back pockets and looked away when it did. The linebacker position for the Lions this season has been manned mostly by untrained chimps. Zack Follett has been learning on the job, but he has not shown much progress and now he's been injured in what was an ugly head to head collision. There is a strong possibility that the bye week will not be enough time off for the "pain train" to clear his head and play again.

DeAndre Levy is hopeful to return in two weeks, but the Lions have been saying that since training camp, so who knows?

Two of the three linebacker positions are major question marks. Martin Mayhew has to comb the waiver wire now and find somebody with a pulse who can fill the proper gaps and make a play every once in a while.

I'll be holding my breath for the next two weeks.

Another awful week for picks...

2010-10-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

This is a lot harder than it looks, even when you aren't taking into account the spread. I went 8-6 last week, bringing my season total to 51-39...not even remotely respectable.

Titans over Eagles
Saints over Browns
Rams over Bucs
Bears over Redskins
Ravens over Bills
Broncos over Raiders
Vikings over Packers
Falcons over Bengals
Steelers over Dolphins
49'ers over Panthers
Chiefs over Jaguars
Cardinals over Seahawks
Patriots over Chargers
Giants over Dallas

Concussions, concussions, concussions!

2010-10-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

First of all let me say this, football is a very violent game. Any game that has 200-300+ lb men running full steam into each other, a lot of time with a full head of steam, is going to have a lot of injuries. Head traumas, broken bones, multiple sprains, it's all going to be normal when you are doing an activity that the human body is simply not designed to do.

The NFL, NCAA, and High School athletics will never be able to legislate injuries out of the game unless they close up shop all together.

At this very moment, the NFL is in the process of building new rules, which will be instituted this Sunday, which will call for fines and suspensions for what will be determined "vicious" hits.

I have no problem with this. This is not the Roman Coliseum and we are not blood thirsty enough to be cheering for somebody to die or even be paralyzed for life.

I simply think that while this is probably a step in the right direction, I think the NFL is heading at this problem from the wrong starting point. What the NFL needs to do is start mandating safety and start fining for "safety violations" like they do for "uniform violations."

There is "optional" equipment which needs to become mandatory.

First and foremost, the league needs to institute a five yard penalty against any player that loses his helmet during the course of a play. Why? Because helmets are designed for that not to happen. This only happens when the helmet is not properly worn or fit to the player. You see this all the time, players not properly buckling their chin strap. This leads to a loose fitting jiggling helmet which is far less effective when the player is hit.

Furthermore, it has to become a necessity for all players to wear mouth guards, preferrably professionally fit by dentists mouth guards. Are you telling me these millionaires can't afford it or the billionaire owners can't pay a couple hundred extra bucks to get these players proper mouth guards?

The neck roll has been around forever. This should be a mandatory piece of equipment. Bryan Cox is the last player I can remember seeing the neck board, perhaps Urlacher wore won a few times, I can't remember, but this piece of equipment also helps prevent the nasty head jarring from hits.

Furthermore, NFL films has to start focusing a bit on players wearing proper safety equipment, so that kids watching see it.

By showing kids that their NFL idols are trying to play as safely as possible the habits will grow in little league and high school where the majority of football is played in the United States.

Lions Fans

2010-10-19T05:15:00.001-07:00

By John Kerfoot

The Lions have no toes...Lose to Giants, 28-20

2010-10-18T05:36:00.000-07:00

All Lions losses are frustrating. I don't think, in the end, that this one was any more frustrating that all the others -- except maybe Chicago, we won that one dammit!

The fact that the Lions had the ball, late in the fourth quarter, with a chance to tie means nothing to me. I'm tired of it. If I had a nickel for every time I've seen the Lions have a chance to score or tie in the fourth quarter...usually needing a touchdown, not a field goal...I'd have...a lot of money. Well, maybe not a lot, a nickel isn't worth what it used to be, but still, you get the point.

1. My biggest gripe about this game may be nothing anybody else saw. Why didn't Schwartz challenge the fourth quarter fumble by Nate Burelson? In my opinion, this is what happened. Burleson catches the ball and gets tackled. While he is going to the ground he fumbles the ball. It rolls down his legs and he tries to capture it...but doesn't. The ball then moves up his back as he continues to roll over. At that point he reaches back and grabs the ball with his hand. This is clearly visible. Then, the defender, who is already on top of Burleson snatches the ball away.

Once, Burelson had the ball in his hand, was on the ground, and touched by an opposing player. The play should have been whistled dead. This was not a case like when a ball is fumbled and goes into a pile and who knows what indecent things are going on in there...things that can never be reviewed and most of the time can't even be discussed in pleasant conversation...No, this was all in plain sight of the camera.

If nothing else, force the referees to have to look at it again.

2. From that point on, I was kicking and screaming mad. I could handle the penalties, because this is the Lions afterall and they really suck. They can't play on the same level as talented teams and they have to find ways to get an advantage. Hold the better player, try to time the snap because you need that extra second to beat the offensive line...etc., etc.

But penalties after the play, like Stephen Petersen running into a defender, after the play is completely dead, just to try and hit somebody...stupid. That's not forgivable.

3. I also know that there will be mysterious, "what the hell was that?" calls that will go against the Lions. Like the play that Burleson caught going over the middle and dashed inside the five yard line...only to have it all called back because of an "illegal formation."

According to the NFL, you have to have seven men on the line of scrimmage and both tackles have to be "covered" or in other words, there must be some offensive player outside of each tackle lined up on the line of scrimmage. Which is exactly what they had. But the Lions had a big play so...

4. Jeff Backus had an awful day. Osi Umenyiora had two strip sacks, blowing right by Backus. And I'm pretty sure the play that the Kansas Kid snapped his forearm like a dry twig, he was nailed by Osi again.

5. Jahvid Best managed a pitiful 16 yards on twelve carries. Either he is waiting too long for plays to develop, not waiting long enough, or the offensive line really, really sucks.

6. Drew Stanton is a nice guy from MSU...he was a great college quarterback...he is not an NFL quarterback, not a starter anyway and second string is iffy too.

7. Eli Manning had a 104 QB rating against the Lions yesterday. It's good to know the Lions are turning every quarterback they play into hall of famers again.

8. I covered this a little bit, but I just wanted the numbers to be out there. NY Giants 2 penalties for 15 yards, Lions 11 for 91. Four of those Lions penalties directly resulted in four Giant first downs.

9. One of my biggest pet peeves in football, especially the Lions, is "moral victories." Moral victories are for losers. I'm sick and tired of fans hanging their hats on the fact that the Lions are losing close--not being blown out--but the fact is the easiest thing to do in the NFL is to lose close. 80-90% of all games are decided by eight points or less. The Lions aren't good, they're just not as god-awful bad. I'm not sure how much progress that really is.

10. The Franchize will be back in two weeks to face the Washington Redskins at home on Halloween afternoon. Let's see if he can make a difference in helping this team "learn how to win."

3rd and 3 or less

Offenses are designed to get to "manageable" third downs. Ideally, your offense is working if you are routinely in 3rd and 3 or less. But how does the team do when they get to that point. I propose that 90% of the time every team should run in this situation as the average NFL run goes for 4 yards. The other 10% I'd do play action. The Lions on Sunday were 2 for 2 rushing and 1 for three passing. On the season, rushing 8 of 11 and passing 7 of 14.

Still haven't blocked a punt

I saw a stat somewhere that some NFL team blocked TWO punts last week. I didn't hear everything, but I'm pretty sure that team won. Yes, the Lions recovered a fumble because the Giants punter dropped a snap...but they didn't block a punt and actually, they didn't really even try.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

The New York Giants are one of the six NFL franchises that do not employ a glorious cheer squad. They've won Super Bowls so I can't say that this has held them back...but how many more could they have won, if they'd just had a scantily clad pep squad on the sideline to rev up the crowd and the players?

Where's the fade stop?

The most potent play in the Lions arsenal from the Lions hey-day (the 90's) was the fade stop--usually to Herman Moore. The Lions now have a bigger, arguably more talented wide receiver in Megatron, yet the fade stop has not been used nearly enough. If a play is unstoppable, you run it until somebody figures out how to stop it.

Tales of the inept

1-5 Cleveland Browns. The Browns lost again in the debut game of Colt McCoy. He looked like a rookie and they lost as if they had a rookie playing quarterback.
1-5 San Francisco 49'ers. The Niners got their first win of the season yesterday against the Oakland Raiders.
1-5 Detroit Lions. Some day they'll "learn how to win."
0-5 Carolina Panthers. The Panthers were granted a bye for good behavior.
0-5 Buffalo Bills. The Bills had a bye and nobody even noticed they were gone.

Items of note for Sunday and beyond

2010-10-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

The Devil's Wang is getting way too much play...that doesn't sound right...

There are a bunch of conspiracy theories running around about Brett Farve, the Devil who wears #4, breaking his millenia long streak of games played because of tendinitis in his throwing elbow...or allegations that he sent pictures of his wang to Jennifer Sterger, who was under the employ of the Jets the same time the Devil was running that team into the ground.

Some believe that he'll end the streak "because of injury" just so the history books won't say that the streak ended because the NFL suspended him due to improper conduct.

Personally, I don't care. I certainly don't care about the Devil's wang, that's for sure. Sterger on the other hand is worthy of at least a second look...not about her part in the whole fiasco, just because she's pretty nice to look at.

My issue is that this story broke months ago. Even me, the low and struggling one made a half-assed comment about it over a month ago. If I knew about it then, why is it only a story after the Vikings play the Jets? A month into the season. That's the conspiracy, this should have been taken care of a long time ago.

No Franchize, No Megatron

Stafford and CJ are very, very likely not to play this Sunday, which puts a big kink in the possibility of the Lions ending their 23 game road losing streak and also climbing out of the NFC North Cellar for the first time in almost three years.

I don't care if they did run up the score...

I pretty much have auto-texted the phrase "the Lions have keep the pedal to the floor until at least 25 minutes after the game ends." The fact that the Lions were still trying to score late in the fourth quarter of a blowout victory does not bug me. Why? Because if there were a way to lose a 44-6 lead with five minutes left in the fourth quarter, the Lions would do it.

Karma says that it all will come back around on them, and it may have, as Megatron hurt his shoulder late in the game...at a time most say he probably should have been pulled. The Lions need wins and they need successes and they need to build every confidence they can.

Keep playing until the game is over. 'Nuff said.

The Lions adapting pretty well...need to adapt some more...

The Lions have dealt with injuries this entire season, from DeAndre Levy to Matt Stafford to Nate Burelson to Louis Delmas....and they have stayed in every game and played admirably. Now without Megatron they'll have to take it to another level.

I hope the Kansas Kid is up to this one too.

Why the Lions will take down the Giants...

2010-10-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

There are many rays of hope that will lead us down the ever dangerous and chilling doom of Lion optimism. Dash those hopes now or else you will wind up once again muttering incoherently in the dark to whatever you believe in...pleading for some semblance of justice...and the darkness does not answer.

Of course they aren't saying that Matt Stafford, The Franchize, isn't going to play...but in all likelihood, he won't. The word on Calvin Johnson's shoulder injury is...um, maybe?

This is scary...

The Detroit Offensive Line?

Technically, they've been playing fairly well, which is a very twilight zone'esque change from the regular Lions norm. Oh sure the Lions still don't have a 100 yard rusher yet and the idea of picking up a 3rd and one off tackle is as logical paying space aliens to repave my driveway.

But still...they haven't given up an obscene amount of sacks and they have given the Kansas Kid ample time to get rid of the ball. Did you see how much time Hill had on his touchdown pass to Pettigrew, going back and looking at it again, you'd think he was playing against the Lions instead of for them.

Can they hold up against the vaunted Giants front? We'll see...

Jahvid Best, Pettigrew and Tony Scheffler

The biggest strength of the NY Giants is a ravenous collection of beasts they use for defensive lineman. When this group is not chewing on puppies and knocking down buildings, they are concentrating on tearing every quarterback in their path limb from limb.

But what is one of the best ways to neutralize such an aggressive defensive line? The screen pass. And the Lions are running the screen better than any other time I can recall. Both the tight end screen and the half back screen have worked almost to perfection so far this season and it will need to work overtime against the Giants.

The Lions secondary?

Alphonso Smith and Chris Houston have really answered the call in the last two weeks. Smith has picked off three passes in the last three games and Houston is getting into the action too. How will they do against Peyton's little brother, Eli?

Well, I've never really been all that impressed with Eli. In fact, I'm pretty sure he must be adopted. Compared to the way Peyton plays, Eli may in fact be the illegitimate love child of Archie Manning and a syphilitic chimp. He is nothing compared to how his brother plays and I'm pretty sure that the Giants Super Bowl win a few years ago was a strange dream...it couldn't have really happened.

Not to mention the Giants offensive line hasn't exactly been stellar so far this year. The Kong, KVB, Corey Williams and Cliff Avril might be able to get some pressure of their own too.

Hope is evil, isn't it?

Why the Giants will stomp the Lions...

2010-10-13T05:36:00.000-07:00

Let me come out right off the bat and give the number one reason why there is no chance whatsoever that the Lions can win this Sunday at the New Meadowlands....if the Lions manage a win and the Vikings lose against the Cowboys (a real possibility) the Lions will exit the NFC North cellar for the first time in over two years.

Think about that, the Lions not in last place. What are the chances? Not good in my opinion.

At the beginning of the season, I thought this would be the year the Lions finally escape last place, but I never dreamed they could possibly be climbing up over the Devil and the Vikings.

The Giants are killing quarterbacks at an alarming rate

The Giants are second in the NFC with 19 sacks over the first five games of the season. They sacked Jay Cutler 9 times IN THE FIRST HALF two weeks ago. Can the Lions offensive line hold up? Fat chance.

Not coincidentally, the Giants are #1 in defending the pass in the NFC and 4th against the run. That does not bode well for the Kansas Kid and Jahvid Best.

Eli Manning and Hakeem Nicks

I don't know who this Nicks dude is, but he apparently jumped out of a Jersey swamp with the single objective of catching touchdown passes. The guy is on fire. He leads the NFC with 6 TD receptions so far and is averaging a little over 80 yards a game. Not bad for a swamp thing.

Eli Manning might be a middle of the road quaterback, currently ranked ninth in the NFC, but that's better than the Kansas Kid (11th). And Manning gets to throw against the Lions secondary whereas Hill has to fire passes into the brick wall of the #1 passing defense.

The Giants are 3-2 in the thick of things already

The Leos are 1-4 and just trying to break into the realms of respectability. The Giants are a closet Super Bowl pick by meth heads and Manhattan crack whores...(Hey, they might not be all there in the head, but they watch, dammit. It's a real demographic the NFL shoots for.)

Nobody thinks the Lions are worthy of anything.

The NFL is killing me!

2010-10-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

To say that the NFL is upside down, topsy turvy and backwards is an understatement this season. I went a horrific 4-10 last week, bringing me to a season record of 43-33. Ugly.

Steelers over Browns

Dolphins over Packers

Ravens over Patriots

Lions over Giants

Bears over Seahawks

Jets over Broncos

Colts over Redskins

Saints over Bucs

Chargers over Rams

Texans over Chiefs

Falcons over Eagles

Raiders over Niners

Vikings over Cowboys

Titans over Jaguars

A smoking ember of optimism

2010-10-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

Everyone is very excited about the massive beat down the Lions put on the Rams this past Sunday, but lets try and put this game in perspective.

First of all, the Rams made a lot of mistakes. A lot of BAD mistakes. I'm not even counting going for the onside kick to open the game, which is a choice I liked...and not because I'm a Lions fan. What a great way for a visiting team to immediately seize all momentum and neutralize the crowd than to demoralize the home team by stealing the ball right off the bat? It's surely not an aggressive play you'd see the Lions ever try. It hearkens back to the Saints onside kick in the last Super Bowl. Catch the other team off guard and then go to work while they're still in shock.

And lets not even speak of the dropped gift interception the Rams refused from the Kansas Kid early in the first quarter. You don't think there was a pretty good chance the Lions would go into their usual shell-shocked mode if that were to have happened and the Lions?

And penalties! The Rams gave a lot away too.

So the monster win over the Rams doesn't give me hope. It does make me very happy and it really makes me believe that the Lions can win against the teams they are supposed to beat, but it doesn't exactly give me hope for the rest of the year.

But something else does...the NFL as a whole. It's crazy this year. It's the wild, wild west and everybody's going into shootouts with cooked spaghetti. In other words, it makes no sense at all.

Who has the best scoring offense in the NFC? The Detroit Lions. Who is winning the NFC West? The Arizona Cardinals--and they've been outscored by 50 points this year. The Packers just got beat by the Redskins who were beaten a week ago by...you guessed it, the Rams, who the Lions just destroyed.

The Bears are leading the NFC North with a 4-1 record, but do you really trust them? Nope. Aaron Rodgers went down with a concussion last week and probably won't play this week, not to mention the injury bug is all over the Packers locker room in spades.

The Minnesota Vikings and Dallas Cowboys, early Super Bowl favorites, are both 1-3.

The Lions play the 3-2 NY Giants this weekend. This is a team that laid down and died against the Colts and the Titans. The Titans looked horrible a few weeks ago.

My point is that you just don't know who is going to show up every week at any game.

On the Fox pregame show on Sunday, Micheal Strahan said, "the word around the league on the Lions is that they are a 'caged' animal, once they get that first win and get loose, watch out."

Here's hoping he's right.

Deja Vu has got me petrified. Lions win!

2010-10-11T06:54:00.000-07:00

1. The similarities between this win and the last big blowout victory for the Lions are too many to let me sleep easy on this one.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy as a clam that the Lions won...but people eat clams, so I'm still pretty damn nervous. It's been three wins and forty one losses since the last Lions' blow out victory.

From the Shaun Rogers/Kong interceptions to the number and yardage of carries by the leading running back and the quarterback numbers...too much of this game echoed that last victory.

2. The Lions still give up way too many stupid penalties. They will never be a respectable team until they can control themselves from jumping offsides all the time.

3. Jahvid Best almost broke a half a dozen runs to the house. I can't wait til he starts racking up Chris Johnson-type numbers.

4. Nate Burleson makes all the difference in the world. The more times he can catch the ball and then split the seam all the way to the house, the more times Megatron is going to see single coverage.

5. Brandon Pettigrew is turning into a stud. He currently leads the league in receptions for a tight end.

6. Unless the Kong falls off the face of the planet, he should be going to the pro bowl this year.

7. The Kansas Kid has really redeemed himself these last couple of weeks.

8. Alphonso Smith keep picking them off and taking them to the house and we'll start forgiving the stupid penalties. Smith has picked off three passes in the last three games. Smith and Houston might actually turn into an NFL caliber corner back tandem.

9. Stafford should not come back this week. The Giants defensive line sacked Jay Cutler nine times last week...in the first half alone. No reason to bring back the Franchize just to see him pounded to goo on his first possession.

10. The Lions should be in every game from here on out. And I'm not high when I say that. This is not cornbread speaking as much as it is total confusion about the league as a whole. The Rams were 2-3 and just beat Washington. Washington just beat Green Bay...who can understand any of it?

3rd and 3 or less

In the NFL, teams work to get respectable gains on first and second down with the obvious intent of being able to get the most manageable third down possible. Working this way allows a team to control the tempo of the game and bleed the clock. So an offense works to get to the situation of 3rd and 3 or less. But what does a team do when they are successful in getting into this enviable position is huge in the success of a football team. I maintain that since the average NFL rush goes for approximately 4 yards, it is in the best interest of teams to run 85-100% of the time in this situation.

Against the Rams, the Lions were good enough to force seven different 3rd and 3's or less. They passed six times, converting three and ran once successfully. So far this season, the Lions are 6 of 9 rushing and 6 of 11 passing.

Still haven't blocked a punt?

As well as the team played yesterday--and they played well, in all phases of the game--they still haven't blocked a punt in years. Rushing eight men to block a punt successfully is a sure fire way of turning any momentum in your direction. It almost always leads to a touchdown and it shows that a team going to be coming at all times. Playing it safe on punts is a gambit for the meek.

By the way, Stefan Logan and his 105 yard kick off return for a touchdown was awesome, but is it just me, but I don't think that guy is tall enough to ride roller coasters at Cedar Point.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

I know it seems weird, but the Lions were on TV and there were no cheerleaders in the background. It WAS actually a home game and it was televised and they won. Surely the sun will turn black at any moment and the seas will open...

The Fox crew did however pan across the stadium, showing the Pride in their self paid for seats...thank you Mr. Ford.

Next week, the Lions will play the mighty Giants at their new bajillion dollar stadium...to bad they didn't have enough cash to get themselves some cheerleaders. They leave that classy move to the Jets.

Where's the fade stop?

Calvin Johnson's touchdown reception was very close to a fade stop, but it was more of a plain old fade, which works just fine...if you follow it up later with a fade stop. I still maintain that this is the hardest play to stop when the wide receiver has a half a foot size advantage on pretty much every DB in the league.

Weird item of note...

Every team in the AFC south is 3-2.

Tales of the Inept

1-2 Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings play tonight against the Jets. I don't see the Vikings staying on this list very long, especially since they just got back the guy the Lions thought they'd be better off not drafting...after all Terry Fair was going to be a stud...

1-3 Dallas Cowboys. Who can understand the Dallas Cowboys. The only thing I can think of is that they have Roy Williams...and Roy is playing really well. He can only do that on lousy football teams. Dallas lost 34-27 to Tennesseee.

1-4 Detroit Lions. The Detroit Lions pretended to be a real football team yesterday and shellacked the St. Louis Rams. 44-6.

1-4 Cleveland Browns. The Browns and the remarkable Peyton Hillis hung around for most of the game before losing late to the Atlanta Falcons, 20-10. Some might remember that Hillis was the third back in the Arkansas unstoppable running attack which featured Darren McFadden and Felix Jones.

0-5 San Francisco Forty-Niners. The Niners played well and were in the game until the end against the Philadelphia Eagles. They lost 27-24 on a field goal in the closing minutes. Mike Singletary is on his way out the door.

0-5 Carolina Panthers. The Carolina Panthers continue to display how vital it is for the team to keep John Fox as coach...losing again. This time they lost to Chicago, 23-6, who were playing a 39 year old career back up as quarterback. That's ugly.

0-5 Buffalo Bills. I will be surprised if Chan Gailey gets a second season in Bills' Town. This team looks so bad...I'm thinking there's a real chance a second team can go 0-16.

Items of note for Sunday and beyond

2010-10-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

In the past, Steven Jackson has run over the Lions like a train runs over the tracks. If Jackson gets 120+ and more than one TD, the Lions are doomed.

Matthew Stafford started throwing this week, which is a good sign, but in Lionsland you can't believe everything you see. I still am thoroughly convinced he will not take another snap this year. If he does it's a bonus, if he doesn't...that's the Lions luck.

Jahvid Best is back, pretty much to full strength. So look for a pretty good running day. Former Lion James Hall is no Clay Matthews or Julius Peppers and Chris Long may never live up to his #1 overall draft pick status.

The Kansas Kid needs to have a big day and take full advantage of Megatron against (we say this every week!) those smaller cornerbacks.

The Rams have built their team in pretty much completely the opposite way the Lions did. They built a defensive line (although it can be debated how well they've built that D-Line) and an offensive line and then went and got their QB. They're 2-2...Lions are 0-4 and have been much worse much longer.

If it turns out that Chris Houston and Alphonso Smith are pretty good DB's and Delmas lives up to the hype...and Amari Spievey takes over for C.C. Brown and looks as good as a third round safety should look...I still think the Lions need to draft a corner with their first pick next year.

But there are a lot of "if"'s in that last paragraph. We'll see.

I remember the year Stevin Jackson came out, it was the year the Lions took Roy Williams and Kevin Jones. I remember watching him the fall before at Oregon State, where he looked like a man among boys. The guy is still a stud and well, you know where Roy and Kevin ended up...

Why the Lions will devour the Rams...

2010-10-07T05:25:00.000-07:00

I got sucked into the hype last year about how the Lions were supposed to be able to beat the Rams...and the Lions screwed me. It won't happen again this year.

Although there are reasons for hope and I do want them to win, of course, I'm certainly no where near convinced it's going to happen.

The Kong!

Sam Bradford, in the first four weeks of the season, has been sacked 10 times already and thrown six picks. The Lions front four should be able to apply ample pressure to the rookie signal caller.

Add in the fact that Bradford's collection of targets is far from sparkling and a formula becomes clear to beat the overachieving Rams. No quarterback does well with pressure in his face, especially rookie quarterbacks. If the Lions can press the mediocre wide receivers and tight ends, make Bradford hold on to the ball for an extra second or two, then the Kong, KVB, Avril, and Corey Williams should be able to bury him in the field turf.

Of course that should be the recipe for defeating every quarterback, but in this case the Lions probably have a better chance of making it work this weekend.

The Rams' Schedule

OK, so the Rams are 2-2. So what! Look at who they've played.

They lost to the Arizona Cardinals, a team that has already fired two quarterbacks this season.

They lost to the Raiders who has already fired one quarterback and frankly...we all know how the Raiders have been so jealous of the Lions ineptness the last ten years that they've tried as hard as they can to be just like the Lions...

They managed to beat the Washington Redskins...um, guys, the Lions beat the Redskins last year....the Redskins do not appear to know how to beat the teams they are supposed to beat.

And lastly, they beat the Seattle Seahawks, a team from the NFC West, need I say more...let me go this far, if the Lions could somehow trade places with any team in the NFC West, they'd most likely be talking playoffs.

That's how bad the NFC West is as a whole.

The Cavalry is starting to come back

Nate Burleson is supposed to return this week to take some more pressure off of Megatron. Best is now two weeks away from his turf toe injury and should be that much more healthy.

The Kansas Kid has started to really rely on one of the Lions offensive strengths, the tight end. Brandon Pettigrew, a few drops aside, has turned into a formidable receiving threat.

Alphonso Smith is most likely taking over the corner back position formerly held by the pylon wearing the "Wade" jersey and C.C. Brown is looking like he's on his last legs.

In other words, the Lions are getting healthier and better by the sheer fact they're starting to bench the guys that have played pitifully. If the Lions can just get the Franchize back and DeAndre Levy, good things could start happening all over the place.

Well, I can hope anyways...

Bad, but not the worst picks....

2010-10-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

Last week I did pretty awful, but not as bad as two weeks ago...of course that's probably because there were two less games--9-5 last week....looking for another big rebound this weekend. So far this season I'm 39-23.

Bengals over Bucs
Texans over Giants
Packers over Skins
Ravens over Broncos
Rams over Lions
Chargers over Raiders
Eagles over Niners
Falcons over Browns
Colts over Chiefs
Jags over Bills
Panthers over Bears
Saints over Cards
Cowboys over Titans
Vikings (and the Devil) over Jets

The Lions have major "hump"ing issues...

2010-10-06T05:49:00.001-07:00

If I hear one more time about how the Lions "just can't get over the hump" I'm going to punch somebody. Not only is it a tired cliche, I think it starts from a clearly deluded belief that the Lions should really be 3-1 or 2-2 instead of the 0-4 they really are.

Almost every game in the NFL is won by eight points or less. This is a league of parity, it is designed to keep games close and teams (and more importantly paying fans) hopeful.

When the game is on the line, good teams step up and make the plays that ensure victory. The Lions do not do that, instead they watch the opposing teams do that.

After recovering the onside kick against Philadelphia, did the Lions then stick the ball down the Eagles throat and grab victory by the balls? Nope, they ran four poorly designed plays poorly and gave the ball back, then crawled back to their slimey holes in defeat--as usual.

Against the Packers, with the defense actually playing remotely well, or the Packers offense just biding their time, the Lions had opportunity after opportunity to smack the almighty Packers down--in their own house--but instead they settled for field goal after field goal. When the game was on the line, after pinning the Packers deep in their end and needing a stop to get one last chance to take the lead...the Packers run out the last 6 and a half minutes...game...Lions crawl back into their slimey holes in defeat--as usual.

Against the Bears...ok, the Lions won that game, dammit! But still you have to wonder what kind of a psychological impact that having that game stolen from them by a poor call has had. Do the Lions have a new invigorating look if they start off the season 1-0 with a brilliant come from behind victory? Do they have the confidence to beat Philly? To down the Devil? To end the Lambeau curse? Who knows?

The point is that in each of those games if the Lions really were a different team, they'd have seized those moments instead of having the most important points in the game dictated to them by the opposition. That's the same old Lions.

How will the Rams batter the Lions into submission?

Just like last season, everyone has pointed to this game as a great chance to mark up a victory for the Lions. Last year, the Rams won...their only victory of the season. Why should this game be any different? Hell, the Rams are 2-2 and the Lions are the all too familiar 0-4.

Sam Bradford

Hey, the kid looks pretty damn good. And he's doing it without any real wide receivers. There was a lot of talk about whether or not the Lions should have waited on drafting the Franchize so that they could get Bradford. I don't know if that would have really worked out. I think Stafford has the much bigger arm and appears to be a much more outspoken leader than Bradford--but it's hard to argue with the results that St. Louis has seen so far. Bradford has been in four games and is 2-2. Stafford has been in 12 games over a year and a quarter and is 2-10...

Of course, St. Louis is playing in the NFC West which looks like it's teams might have a hard time in the WAC.

Stephen Jackson

Let me put this as simply as I can, when the game was on the line last Sunday at Lambeau, a nobody named John Kuhn carved up the Lions front and ran off the final six and a half minutes...JOHN "F'&^%&" KUHN!?!?

Who the hell was this guy? Well, I can safely say this, Kuhn is no Stephen Jackson. Jackson ran for something like a 150 yards last year in the Rams victory over the Lions. He's still there and he can still run.

Steve Spagnuolo and the Rams Defense

The former NY Giants defensive coordinator, the one who actually had a good Giants defense that caused havoc and racked up tons of sacks, is building a pretty formidable defense in St. Louis.

The Rams defense is giving up a meager 19 points a game and just held the Seattle Seahawks to a paltry 3 points...

This game is in no way a gimme. I always truly fear the games the Lions are "supposed" to win. Those are the ones that hurt the most to see them lose.

One more thing before St. Louis...

2010-10-05T05:06:00.000-07:00

Penalties, penalties, and more penalties... and dropped passes...

Not to sound too much like prior Lions coaches, but there are simple, simple things that good teams do to be competitive. Things that are not supposed to be talent based. They are instead pure common sense.

These are things that are no longer supposed to have to be coached at the professional level. These are things that Lions players apparently have electroshock therapy to remove before arriving in Allen Park.

There are five core things that any NFL team can do and if they do them successfully can at the very least hang around the .500 mark.

1. Penalties.

As the great Bobby Ross once said, "We don't coach that stuff!" Now there are all sorts of penalties and all sorts of reasons why penalties do and don't get called. A lot of times I think the color of the uniform has a major influence on the refs, but still...

Off sides penalties are completely ludicrous and should never happen no matter what Jim Schwartz says. I don't care if the D-line is trying to get a jump on the snap...it's stupid and shouldn't happen. They line up directly over the ball for Christ's sake...

I can understand holding penalties, maybe I'm a little more perplexed at how randomly they're called or how they are called with such exacting precision against the Lions in crucial parts of the game. I think the mostly ignored issue with holding penalties is way beyond coaching...it's a talent issue. Or more correctly a lack of talent issue. Jeff Backus is not good enough to dominate a Julius Peppers the entire game without bending the rules a bit. The Lions simply do not have talented enough players on their offensive line.

On a side note, if the NFL really wants to protect their prized franchise quarterbacks (for the good of the game, we're told) then they should quit putting dresses on the quarterbacks and allow them to be hit, but loosen the rules for holding calls. That is in the spirit of the game, calling every defensive player swiping at the ball as they pass by the QB for unnecessary roughness is not.

Pass interference penalties are another issue of pure lack of talent. The Lions corners and safeties are pretty much sub par. They are not fast enough to keep up with opposing receivers, nor are they sound enough in technique to redirect opposing receivers where the defense needs them to go. The Leos will be called all season long for these.

A team that doesn't commit stupid penalties and can avoid the "talent deficiency" penalties is miles ahead of the game.

2. Turnovers.

Some turnovers are probably unavoidable. There are times when a defensive player just gets lucky and puts his helmet on the sweet spot of the ball during a tackle and it is out there. But most of the time, that is not the case.

Properly securing the ball during a run is a coaching issue. Catching the ball instead of letting it bounce off your hands where it can be easily intercepted...

If you look at the turnover differential in the NFL you will see that most of the teams that having winning records have a "+" in that category.

3. Dropped passes.

Why does Peyton Manning have so many passing yards and touchdown passes? Because his guys don't drop the ball. Even after Marvin Harrison retired and Reggie Wayne was hurt, the Colts managed to draft and bring in nobodies and you know what they routinely did...that's right, they caught the damn ball. Manning doesn't put up with dropped passes. If his receivers show a propensity let the ball hit the ground or, even worse, pop up into the air for easy interceptions...guess who's not getting the ball thrown their way? More likely, guess who doesn't get on to the field.

Now dropped passes is a talent issue...which the Lions do not have much of, but it is the mark of a good team. Brandon Pettigrew has looked really good for the most part of the season, but he drops too many passes, especially at crucial times in the game. If I hear one more announcer say after a supposedly elite receiver drops a pass, "You don't see that too many times..." I'm going to stick my head in an oven. You hear it all the time about Calvin Johnson. Why? Because he drops too many damned balls.

And that goes for the defense too. Why is CC Brown playing? I'm not even talking about his total ineptness, the dude has a big cast on his hand...how can you expect him to catch anything?

4. Tackling.

Again, supposedly another talent issue. When one guy misses a tackle, typically the play goes for at least three to four more yards, in the Lions case that is routinely 15-20 yards, and sometimes eighty.

Why is the Baltimore Ravens defense always high in every statistical category? Because they do not miss tackles. Not in the open field, not in the backfield, not at the line of scrimmage.

5. Time Management.

This is pure coaching. Knowing when it is prudent to run the ball, ie to run clock and keep the other teams offense from torching your abysmal secondary, perhaps, and to pass the ball. When to run the two minute offense. When to use timeouts to properly save time at the end of the half or the game. This is not rocket science.

Personally, my firm belief for the Lions, is they should be pulling every gimmick they can out, ie go no huddle the whole game or throw in a few trick plays. Try to block a punt!

But most importantly call give your team time to make plays at the end of each half to score more points, to take extra shots into the endzone...

In conclusion...

Teams that do these things are at least .500 by default. Most are considered Super Bowl contenders and these are not foreign concepts pulled from the hut of an evil witch doctor...they are sound football practices that seem to disappear for every coach and player that goes through the gates of the compound in Allen Park.

The most frustrating thing about being a Lions fan is that there really are never any "Bus tickets out of town." There are no consequences for pathetic play. If teams like Indianapolis and New England and New Orleans can pick up waiver wire scrubs and turn them into viable players, how come the Lions can never do it?

Damn Lions sucked me in again....

2010-10-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

1. Tom Kowalski brought up a really good point on the Monday morning radio broadcast on WDFN. On Charles Woodson's interception returned for a touchdown, which looked like he trapped the ball, the referees didn't have more than two angles to judge the replay from. In other words, they couldn't get a definitive angle to overturn the call.

Why?

Because nobody wants to see the Lions on television. The NFL had a minimal TV crew on site, not like premiere games like Pittsburgh/Baltimore or Philadelphia/Washington where they could probably build 3D holograms of the whole damn stadium...This is just another product of a bad team getting zero respect from the league. This game, it probably cost them seven points.

2. The Kansas Kid almost pulled off a miracle. He threw for 337 yards and two touchdowns and also had a great 40 yard ramble up the middle of the field. But the most important six yards of the game, with open field in front of him, he declined to take and instead threw incomplete to Bryant Johnson.

3. For several years now, I have made the statement that "the Lions cannot afford to take their foot off the petal until at least 25 minutes after the game is done." In other words, when you are as bad as the Lions, you can never relax. You must be aggressive at all points in the game.

Which brings me to the Lions not trying a long field goal to take the lead with 6:50 left. It would have been a 54 yard attempt by Jason Hanson, who had previously missed from 55 yards, but hit from 52 and 49...When you're the Lions you have to take every chance at points you can. And you can NEVER trust your defense.

4. The Kong registered his third sack in four games against the Packers. I just wish he'd start hurting the opposing quarterback...

5. The Leos sucked me into believing they were actually going to end the streak on Sunday. Not because I believed in the defense, but because it felt like they had built up so much momentum in the fourth quarter. Of course, as usual, they proved me an imbecile again.

6. The Kansas Kid was smart enough to throw the ball to Megatron in the endzone at the end of the first half even though he was double covered. Result, TD. Let's keep up that kind of thinking. The reason the play worked despite double coverage was because Hill threw a jump ball to the 6'5 CJ when the two corners are barely 6 foot. Major advantage Megatron.

7. I am really tired of hearing about how Kevin Smith is a "bigger, bruising back" than Jahvid Best. Smith has maybe ten pounds on the smaller Best, he can't break tackles and he is most effective as an outlet receiver...just like Best, but without the speed.

8. I really like Brian Billick. I love that he won a Super Bowl with the Ravens. Billick, a career offensive coach, won the big one with the best defense of all time. Billick is a good coach who was able to recognize the strength of his team and capitalize on it.

But, as he announced the game on Sunday, he repeatedly talked about the strength of the Lions front "7." No, the front four is a strength, the linebackers are less than mediocre.

9. Thom Brenneman, Billick's broadcast partner for the game, stated during the game that "Jason Hanson was one of the best draft picks for the Lions in the last 20 years."

Billick's status in my mind jumped quite a bit when he retorted to Brennaman, "Yeah, that's one of the problems." Zing!

10. If Alphonso Smith, who had a spectacular interception against the Packers, isn't starting for Jonathon Wade next week, then the Schwartz should be institutionalized.

3rd and 3 or less.

In the NFL the average run goes for 4 yards, why teams think that it is imperative that they pass in this situation is a huge mystery to me. The Lions faced 3rd and 3 or less four times in Green Bay, running twice, converting both and passing twice, converting once. For the season the Lions are 5 of 8 running and 3 of 5 passing.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

The Packers don't officially have a team funded cheer squad, but I was surprised to see that they did actually have cheerleaders at the game. This came up last year too. Apparently, the Packers use a nearby college's pep squad to amp up their crowd. Yes, this is a cheap alternative, but at least they're doing something for their crowd.

The Lions used to have local high school teams perform, but I think they abandoned that when they moved to Ford Field.

Still no blocked punts...

The Lions haven't officially blocked a punt in over three years. Which is not surprising because I can't remember them ever actively actually going after a punt.

When you're offense is suspect and your defense is downright abysmal. You have to find ways to get positive plays for your team. Maybe the Lions don't have that great of a return game, but they can do their best to make some hay with a blocked punt or kick. Again, the Lions have to be more aggressive in every phase of the game.

Where's the fade stop?

The Lions did utilize Megatron's size for a touchdown at the end of the first half, but when they were desperate for points at the end of the game they rolled the Kansas Kid out and had them throw a lame pass to a bad receiver in Bryant Johnson instead of going to the unstoppable play.

Tales of the inept...

Sadly, the Lions are continuing to lead the inept in the race to the Lions Super Bowl...the draft. Whereas the number of undefeated teams has dwindled to a single franchize (the Kansas City Chiefs), the ranks of the utterly defeated lost only a single member.

1-3 Cleveland Browns. The Browns escaped the realms of the uttlerly hopeless with a 23-20 victory over the struggling Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday. Even though they tried their hardest to lose it late, the Browns were able to ride an underrated former fullback, Peyton Hillis, to a 100+ yards rushing and the victory.

0-4 San Francisco Forty-Niners. Mike Singletary's team led most of the way against the Atlanta Falcons before giving up and rolling over for a late field goal loss, 16-14. Alex Smith is not playing all that well and a defense that was supposed to be one of the leagues best is looking very Lions-like.

0-4 Carolina Panthers. The Panthers continue to put the nails in the coffin of head coach John Fox. They battled to a close fought loss against the Super Bowl champion Saints before giving out at the end, 16-14.

0-4 Buffalo Bills. The Bills rolled over for the Jets like a drunken prom date, 38-14--and it wasn't really even that close. This is a team that looked adversity in the face and decided to kick its starting quarterback out of the building. Not demote him...fire him. The Bills went through the entire offseason program and training camp with Trent Edwards as their starting signal caller and after only three weeks said "screw that, we don't need that guy..." This is a team that will give the Lions a run for their money for the #1 pick and maybe even a team that could threaten to go utterly winless.

0-4 Detroit Lions. There's no such thing as a moral victory and as long as the Schwartz keeps playing so conservatively the Lions will continue to be close to winning, but never actually doing it.

Interesting notes for Sunday and beyond...

2010-10-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

Zach Follett should be back playing this Sunday, I know, you didn't realize he wasn't playing...

Jahvid Best is saying that everything looks good for him playing this Sunday against the Packers. I don't buy it. The Lions err on the side of caution with injuries. I will be pleasantly surprised if he plays at all.

The Franchize started throwing this week. The conspiracy theorist in me thinks that he'll play next week against. Why? Because I think that's the best chance for the Lions to get a win and it's good for the organization the more wins they can notch next to Stafford's name.

Supposedly Amari Spievey is going to get more playing time at safety this week. It's about damn time. C. C. Brown should be banned from ever wearing shoulder pads.

One of my favorite stories of training camp was Randy Phillips, who started every exhibition game and seemed to look impressive with all of the playing time he received. Apparently, he wasn't impressive enough. The Lions waved Phillips yesterday to bring back Dante Wesley, who's primarily a special teamer. Hopefully, Phillips can make it through waivers and catch on to the Lions practice squad.

Get rid of Schwartz? Child, please...

The chances of the Lions winning this Sunday against the Packers in Lambeau are about 100-1 against, which means that The Schwartz will be saddled with the worst 20 game start in Lions history, 2-18. Even Marinelli did better....

It happens ever year, some team or two comes out of the blue and plays well above their heads, surprising the NFL world. This year that team is the Kansas City Chiefs.

Now the argument in the NFL is that any team, even an expansion team should be able to be respectable in three years time. Parity in the NFL is supposed to assure this...but parity can never account for the damage that Matt Millen did.

Your average expansion team starts fresh. No money against the salary cap, no "dead" money, no inherited wounds, and high draft picks--usually extra draft picks too.

Schwartz and Mayhew did not start off in that kind of situation. In fact Matt Millen left this team far worse off than any bad team before in history -- and eons behind any kind of expansion team. This team was saddled with a lot of "dead money" (money counting against the cap that is tied up in players no longer with the team). And no extra draft choices.

This is year two of an expansion team without any of the benefits of an expansion team. Not the least of which is the problem of the "Lions" persona in general. It is hard to attract valuable contributing players to a team with a 50+ year history of sucking. You can argue that players will go to where the most money is, but in truth every team is willing to pay good players. There's nothing really fresh or attractive about playing for the Lions. They are not an expansion team, they are far worse.

Only winning will change that.

And they are not winning this weekend...

A Lions fan can dream can't he?

2010-09-30T10:49:00.001-07:00

Supposedly, Bill Parcells is mulling which new NFL team he will fix...He's done it every where he's gone--the Giants, the Patriots, the Jets, the Cowboys, and the Dolphins. Could the Lions be next? There were rumors years ago that Parcells tried to get control of the Lions, but Ford wouldn't go for it at the time.

How the Lions can beat the Packers....who am I trying to kid?

2010-09-30T05:42:00.000-07:00

There are faint glimmers of hope surrounding this annual trek to the Field of Bones known as Lambeau. There are reasons that can only be grasped by the maniacally insane that the Leos can eek out a victory of some sort when the team crosses the river Styx and passes into the dark lands of Wisconsin.

But I am not "maniacally" insane...yet. It doesn't matter what the doctors or the medications say...

Reasons for...ahem, "hope"

Jahvid Best is injured...that is not a positive, but he may actually still play, which would be a big boon for the Leos woebegone offense. Best on the field gives the Lions the ability to work a short screen game and actually threaten with runs to the edge. Best is a player the Packers will have to game plan around.

Nate Burleson, the supposed threat opposite of Calvin Johnson, is very likely to play this week. Again, this should draw some attention away from Johnson...should.

Brandon Pettigrew, a few dropped passes aside, has really started to come on in the last two weeks as an emergency outlet for the Kansas Kid, going so far as putting up a 100+ yard day against Philadelphia.

The Kong continues to terrorize quarterbacks. Sure he got flagged for the hit, but he gave a good bonk to the head of the Devil last Sunday and it felt good to see. Suh continues to have the praise heaped upon him by anyone who has seen him play this season. He has caused havoc in both the running and passing games of opposing teams.

It is possible that the Schwartz and his staff will have a light of clarity shine down upon them from above and they will realize that playing C.C. Brown is just the act of a group of incredibly stupid people--and he will change his ways and play one of the rookies, Spievey or Phillips. Neither one could do any worse and at least they have the built in excuses of being rookies.

Jonathon Wade could miraculously drink some magic elixir that makes him grow another six inches and enlightens him on the ancient secrets of how to tackle.

Chris Houston could actually play like a second round pick.

DeAndre Levy and Zach Follet should both play this weekend, but I'm still not sure if that's good or bad.

The offensive line could hold up more than the sieve it actually has played like over the last two games--against one of the best defenses in the NFL and second year killer hitman Clay Matthews.

Oh, damn, even I can't believe any of this...we're so doomed.

Why the Packers will...what kind of name is "Packers" anyway?

2010-09-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

How the Packers can destroy the Lions...other than just showing up.

The first problem the Lions will have to deal with is the astounding play of the Devil's heir, Aaron Rodgers. He is quick to diagnose any defense and almost as quick to get the ball out of his hands.

Which is especially dangerous against the Leos because they can't cover anybody, not for five seconds, not for two seconds, not ever. Jonathon Wade can't cover or tackle. Chris Houston is bad. And C.C. Brown is worse than both put together.

The Packers, and primarily Snidely Whiplash himself, will dissect the lions secondary like a seventh grade biology project.

It will not be pretty.

Is anybody actually allowed to touch the quarterback anymore? Ever?

The Lions spent the majority of their offseason building what they hoped to be a dominating defensive line. It appears that Martin Mayhew and Jim Schwartz were successful in fulfilling that goal--the defense has registered 12 sacks in the first three games this season.

But the Lions are also getting flagged for unnecessary roughness against opposing quarterbacks at a crazy rate. The fact that the rules over the last decade have changed that you can no longer hit the quarterback above the shoulders or below the knees do not in any way help.

In fact, these rules slow down the game, dilute aggressiveness, and pretty much tie the hands of defensive lineman all over the NFL. It isn't just the Lions that are getting called with ticky-tack flags--it's just the Lions that went hog wild to build a defensive line only to see the NFL do everything in its power to negate their plan.

As long as the quarterback has the ball in his hand, he should be fair game. Otherwise, call him the second punter, or better yet, make the NFL provide a full time QB for both teams...just like we used to do in the back yard when I was 12.

Lambeau Field...a road of bones.

You will hear, ad nauseum, until the Lions manage to end the streak, about how the Lions cannot win in Lambeau. They haven't won since 1991. All the years with Barry...no wins. All those years under Millen...well, you had to expect no wins there...

Anyway, it's true. There's nothing any of us can do when it comes up, except nod and stare at our own feet in disgust.

There are many a fallen hero buried beneath that frozen tundra--not the least of which is a half a dozen abysmal performances by the greatest player to wear the uniform--in the playoffs too.

Another awful week of picks...

2010-09-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

Wow, that was a rough week. I barely broke even, going 8-8. So far this season, I'm 30-18. Not very good, keep your money in your wallets.

This week should be much better.

NY Jets over the Bills
Saints over the Panthers
Bengals over the Browns
Titans over the Broncos
Colts over the Jaguars
Eagles over the Redskins
Giants over the Bears
Seahawks over the Rams
Packers over the Lions
Ravens over the Steelers
Falcons over the Niners
Texans over the Raiders
Chargers over the Cardinals
Patriots over the Dolphins

Back to Lambeau, House of Horrors...

2010-09-28T06:49:00.001-07:00

To say that the Detroit Lions have had issues playing in the "Frozen Tundra" of Green Bay is more than a little understatement. The Lions haven't won there in 19 years. Now granted, most of that was while the Devil roamed the dairy fields, but even with him gone, the place doesn't feel any better.

You don't go into Micheal Myers house just because they've supposedly caught him. That's just insanity.

Now Aaron Rodgers has taken over the Devil role in this horrible Packers-Lions eternal feud and even though he reminds me more of Snively Whiplash than the Devil who wears #4, he is still a vile and evil thing. He'd just assume tie up your lovely bride to a railroad track as rack up 400+ yards on the Lions insignificant secondary.

Aaron Rodgers is not to be trifled with. The fact that there was some sort of unexplainable lunar eclipse last night that caused the Bears to sneak away with a win over what is supposed to be a Super Bowl contending team means nothing. The Lions actually beat the Bears just three weeks ago. Don't even talk about the damn catch! They won and you know it.

Does this give the Lions hope of breaking the second worst streak in Lions history? No. this is the Lions we're talking about.

No, the Bears, coached by Martz and Marinelli, pulled some weird magic trick on the Packers, it's the only explanation I can think of.

The Lions have no magic. They have as much hope of winning in Lambeau as third world orphans have of getting adopted by Angelina Jolie. Oh, sure there's a chance, but she can't really adopt all of them, can she?

No, Jay Cutler is steadily improving in Martz's system and looked pretty decent against the Packers defense. Shaun Hill has no real hope of doing any where remotely as well.

And while Cutler was struggling to learn Martz's system when he was playing Detroit, Mr. Whiplash is a maestro in his offense.

The Lions are doomed in an epic fashion. I fear they'll lose by more than 30.

Megatron still missing.

Scott Linehan is still doing a pitiful job of getting the ball to Calvin Johnson. He tried a bubble screen and a reverse to him against the Vikings, but only once each. The Lions need to continue to lure the opposing defensive backs up so that Johnson can blow by them and get deep.

Why are we playing Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dumb, and Tweedle C.C. Brown still?

Johnathon Wade, Chris Houston and C.C. Brown are playing bad on a historically bad level. I have never understood why the Lions for almost twenty years cannot play bump and run coverage. Why does every cornerback that wears a Lion on the side of his helmet have to play ten yards off of the opposing receiver--especially on third and four or five?

Can Nathan Vasher, Alphonso Smith, Amari Spievey or Randy Phillips really play any worse than these three stooges?

The Devil wins again...

2010-09-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

Dismal thoughts after watching the Devil who wears #4 run his home record against the Leo's to 19-0...

1. This one may not hurt as bad as the Megatron reversed touchdown or last week's 3 point loss...but it hurts a lot. This wasn't even a good Minnesota team. This is how bad the Lions are playing. They caught the Devil on a down day with no receivers and they lost by two touchdowns.

2. C. C. Brown is the worst defensive back I have seen in the last twenty years. He is making the memory of Bryant Westbrook--on one leg--a very fond one. If he isn't blatantly missing tackles, leaving receivers wide open or just looking shocked as a clubbed baby seal, I think he's probably spiking the gatorade for all the other players.

3. In fact, every opposing offensive coordinator that plays the Lions should be fired if they don't put up at least 50 points. The Lions secondary is so abysmally awful it is sickening. All any team has to do for the rest of the season is call three step drops and throw short passes. The Lions will never play up on anybody and they can't really even tackle anyway...which pretty much negates playing off the receivers anyway.

4. The Lions marched into the Devil's den and then promptly crapped themselves, rolled over and begged the demon to have his way with them. It was awful.

5. The Lions' secondary is so bad that I am beginning to question if even Louis Delmas is any good. You have to figure that if three out of the four guys are so abysmally disgustingly wretched, what makes you think the fourth guy isn't too.

6. I don't think the Lions have any linebackers either. Julian Petersen is a three time probowler who doesn't exactly look all that great. DeAndre Levy looks worse and nobody even knows the name of whoever is playing on the weak side...

7. Oh, the huge worry going into the season about Jahvid Best was could he stay healthy? We now know...well, he had to sit out pretty much the whole second half with a toe injury...a toe injury? And word on the street is he's had it all season and simply aggravated it at the end of the second quarter. A toe injury?

8. I am beginning to have doubts that the Lions will ever field a competent, let alone probowl, offensive line again in my lifetime. I really wish I could go back in time and somehow convince prior managements to not let go of guys like Lomas Brown, Kevin Glover, and Jeff Hartings.

9. To say that Jeff Backus and Dominic Raiola are no Lomas Brown and Kevin Glover is an understatement of epic proportions.

10. The Lions will get no respect from officials until they find a way to completely dominate a few games. Not just win, but win by several scores. Or in other words, they'll never get any respect from officials. The interception that was called back because of pass interference was simply atrocious. The Vikings receiver ran the Lions defender over and then cut in the opposite direction of Farve's pass. If anything, that should have been offensive pass interference.

11. The stupid quarterback hit to the head rule is a shame. The fact that players are getting called for brushing the quarterback's head, while he still has the ball in his hand makes absolutely no sense. In other words, the league is trying to outlaw players from smacking the ball out of the quarterback's hand. Seriously, when are they going to start putting a dress on the quarterback. Oh and while anybody who breathed too close to the Devil was called, our Scott Mitchell clone was smacked around like red headed step child.

12. The holding call on Dominic Raiola was a crime.

13. I really hate the NFL.

3rd and 3 or less...

In the NFL the average run goes for 4 yards, why teams think that it is imperative that they pass in this situation is a huge mystery to me. The Lions faced 3rd and 3 or less four times in Minnesota. They ran twice, converting once and they passed twice converting once. So far this season the Lions are 3 of 6 rushing and 2 of 3 passing. I maintain that as the season continues, these success rates will reverse themselves.

Where is the Fade Stop?

One of the great plays during the golden days of '90's Lions football, other than hand the ball to Barry and stand back and watch, was the fade stop. A quick pass to the corner of the end zone for a 6'2+ receiver (usually Herman Moore) thrown high enough to take advantage of much smaller corners.

Calvin Johnson is 6'5, I don't care if he's covered by three corners...they're all a lot smaller than he is. That play is there.

Item of note:

The Lions haven't blocked a punt since 2007...which is pretty amazing because I can't remember the Lions ever actually trying to block a punt in my lifetime. This is a special teams play that is usually better than a turnover. It is a show an aggressive team who wants to win...this is something the Lions never even try to do.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

There are a few great things about the Lions playing road games. One, you can always bet against them, you know they'll lose. Two, you don't have to worry about the game being blacked out. And three, there are always cheerleaders in the background. Take your focus off the game in between snaps and look beyond the players centered in the frame...there are almost always cheerleaders in the background.

Unfortunately, this week the Lions trek to the dreaded Lambeau field, a place they haven't won in this century. And the Packers are one of the very few Nazi organizations who outlaw the beloved cheer squad.

Tales of the inept...

Sadly, the Lions are leading the inept in the race to the Lions Super Bowl...the draft.

0-3 San Francisco Forty-Niners. The Niners were a team many picked to win a very, very weak NFC West. Instead the Niners laid a colossal egg against the Kansas City Chiefs who many thought should be fighting to be at the head of the inept list this year. The Chiefs, remarkably, are now 3-0. Who knew?

0-3 Carolina Panthers. The Panthers thought they had a quarterback, but they didn't. Mike Moore looked really bad in his first two games and has now been replaced with former Notre Dame QB rookie Jimmy Clausen. I'm pretty sure the Irish haven't produced a legitimate QB since Montana. The Panthers lost 20-7 to the Cincinnati Bengals.

0-3 Cleveland Browns. The Browns are in complete rebuilding mode. Which is why they're employing a stone age quarterback being backed up by a bronze age quarterback. Eric Mangini is in trouble. He'll probably be fired after this season. The Browns lost 24-17 to Baltimore, a respectable effort against a much superior team.

0-3 Buffalo Bills. The Bills have no quarterback, a bunch of running backs and a head coach that has failed so much in the NFL he was never on anybody's radar to get a head coaching job last year. It was a real shock to the NFL world when the Bills tapped Chan Gailey...but it is not a shock that they are playing this poorly. The Bills came back late to make the score look respectable, but they were pretty much crushed by the Patriots 38-30.

0-3 Detroit Lions. The race is on...

Items of note for Sunday and beyond...

2010-09-24T06:21:00.000-07:00

There are numerous items of note to think about as the Lions again throw down the gauntlet against the evil one. A foreboding and ill wind is blowing across the lakes and plains of the Land of 10,000 Fiery Lakes.

First of all, The Franchize will watch this one from the comfy confines of the coaches booth high above the gridiron.

Stephen Peterman, the Lions starting right guard, is highly questionable to play this Sunday, which does not look good as the Lions are facing the Williams Wall, probably the best pair of defensive tackles in the league.

Julian Petersen, a three time probowl linebacker, and one of the few legitimate players the Leos have on defense, was benched for the last two series of the game against the Eagles...even the good players, play like bums once they put on the Honolulu blue.

Zach Follet is questionable, which is sad, because he's not even really all that good, but he's the best the Lions have to play the weak side.

Nate Burleson, the guy who was supposed to pull some of the coverage away from Megatron, suffered a high ankle sprain, which is an injury in the NFL that can range in severity as something between mild acne and the ebola virus. Who knows when he'll be back or if he'll even have both feet.

Clash of the Titans...

VS

vs

Who will win?

Why the Lions will devour the Vikings and slay the demon...

2010-09-23T05:02:00.000-07:00

So what has to happen for the Lions to finally slay the foulest beast Farve? Other than an alignment of the stars and an eclipse and probably a virgin sacrifice?

Well, first there's going to have to be holy water and probably silver bullets...and salt --lots of salt.

When the foul and ageless demon walks out of the Mall of America Stadium tunnel, he will step onto a field with the Lions, a field that he has owned for more than almost twenty years. He owns a career record against the Leos of 27-9, 13-3 over the last ten years and 18-0 whenever he has faced them as a home team.

Any time that graybeard scumbag has stepped on his home turf against the honolulu blue they might as well turn off the scoreboard. Everyone knows the outcome.

But can that change this week?

Probably not.

But there are remote reasons for hope. Reasons that irrational fools like myself cling to like a drowning man clings to an ever buoyant anchor.

The Kong!

For twenty years we've played Devil who wears #4 with a usually suspect defense. For many of those years the Lions had an old warrior named Robert Porcher. It has been a considerable amount of time since the Lions have had what could be considered a real presence in the middle of the defensive line.

This season the Lions have made a herculean effort to build a really good defensive front (of course they forgot the defense is made up of 11 total players, not 4, but still...). Corey Williams and Kyle Vanden Bosch are legitimate players...some may even argue that Vanden Bosch is a potential star with his play this year.

But the centerpiece of the group is Suh, The Kong. He has never faced the evil one before and he's looking forward to this opportunity. The Kong is what gives a true Lion fan hope that the dark thing that is Farve will be slain and burnt this Sunday. That his foulness will once again be wiped clean from the world.

A new day will dawn in crisper and cleaner new NFL...the nightmare will be over.

The Devil himself...

OK, let's just assume for one moment that the Devil is actually human (humor me). The dude is almost 41 years old, all of his receivers are injured and he looks really, really old...not to mention mentally deficient. Did you see any of the picks he threw last week?

But of course, that wasn't against the Lions. No, that was against some REAL NFL team. The Lions secondary would have dropped all of those interceptions. The Lions secondary will make journeyman nobody wide out Greg Camarillo look like the second coming of Lance Alworth or Steve Largent or Raymond Barry.

But maybe, just maybe the demon continues to press and press and play like Rusty Hilger on speed.

Jahvid Best (this guy needs a nickname...)

If Best can play like he did last week, or even half as good as played last week, for the rest of the year, the Lions will have the offensive rookie of the year. If he can continue to work screens for positive gains and the offensive line can actually seal the edge on more than two runs, Best could have a very big day.

The Lions need to abandon running up the gut against the Williams Wall, a concept that hasn't escaped the dunderheads running the show in Allen Park in the past. If they can work the outside with Best and keep the pass rush honest with screens ...(Listen to me talking about the Lions as if they were a real team..."Bartender, another double please.")...they have a chance to keep up with all the points their secondary will give up.
Benching C.C. Brown and starting Randy Phillips

I can dream, can't I? That guy has looked horrible every time I've seen him play. Can't cover. Can't catch. Can't compete.

Dude is just plain bad.

Why the Vikings will pillage the Lions...

2010-09-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

Before I get to another diatribe on the Devil who wears #4, the unholy fruit of the blasphemous union of Beelzebub and Wrangler Jeans, let me first say some things about C. C. Brown.

I thought his name was Can't Cover Brown, but Sunday showed it's actually Can't Catch Brown. Whatever his name really stands for, he is a huge liability. He takes horrible angles, rarely covers anybody well and tackles for crap on most plays. He is a typical "big hit over solid tackle" guy and the worst part is when he's trying to lower the boom on a receiver, he's just as apt to miss or hit his teammate as he is to hit an opponent.

Brown should be taken out behind the huge practice facility and beaten senseless by six guys with pillowcases full of bars of soap.

The Lions secondary is awful in general, but C. C. is abysmal and needs to be sacrificed to the football gods for his inept play. Let Randy Phillips play, he's a rookie, at least he has a built in excuse.

The Devil Rises Again...

It doesn't matter that Sidney Rice and Percy Harvin are out and highly doubtful respectively. The Devil doesn't need receivers when he plays the Lions. It doesn't matter anyway, because the Lions don't have anybody that could cover them anyway...

When playing the Lions, a team he owns like a pimp owns prostitutes, Farve could throw the ball to shadows and still manage completions. I half expect the actual numbers painted on the grass to peel themselves off the turf and catch his passes and then struggle for at least an extra ten yards on every completion.

The Lions only hope against this abomination is The Kong. Or maybe Kyle VandenBosch. The demon must be slain. His ridiculous string of games played must be broken and desecrated. The defensive line must bury him and burn his foul bones.

Adrian Petersen.

In actuality, the Lions have always done a very respectable job of stopping Petersen, but with the missing wide outs issue currently happening in Viking land, the Vikings will be forced to lean even more heavily than normal on "All Day."

Petersen is a danger to score on any play and with the amount of rushes he is destined to get on Sunday, it'll only take two or three mental or physical breakdowns by the defensive line to provide a significant margin of victory for the purple ones.

The Williams Wall.

Sure Jahvid Best managed 78 yards on the ground last week, but more than half of that came on two runs. The Lions have not shown a consistent ability to make yardage on the ground and facing arguably the best defensive tackle pair in the game won't make it any easier.

The Kansas Kid.

Shaun Hill showed how poor his accuracy can be this last weekend. Until Stafford gets back, the quarterback play is a crapshoot.

I rocked my picks last week...

2010-09-21T07:07:00.000-07:00

After a horrible week one, I feel I may have redeemed myself last week - going 13-3. So far this season I'm 22-10.

Let's see how I manage this week

New England over Buffalo
Minnesota over Detroit
Houston over Dallas
Tennessee over New York
Cincinnati over Carolina
Washington over St. Louis
San Diego over Seattle
New York Jets over Miami
New Orleans over Atlanta
Baltimore over Cleveland
San Francisco over Kansas City
Pittsburgh over Tampa Bay
Jacksonville over Philadelphia
Oakland over Arizona
Indianapolis over Denver
Green Bay over Chicago

Lions march into the Devil's Den this Sunday

2010-09-21T05:15:00.000-07:00

The shrill horn has sounded and the call echoes heavy in the air as the Lions regroup from another loss and prepare to march into the Devil's Den--Minnesota.

The ancient evil has hung around the Lions neck like a dead albatross for lo too many years.

And yet here they are again, readying themselves to do battle with the Devil that wears #4 for the umpteenth billionth time -- for time long forgotten.

Pay no attention to the fact that his horde of Demon Norseman are currently sporting a record no better than the Lions (0-2). It doesn't matter, this isn't a game about football anymore when the Lions face the Devil. No this is an epic battle for the very souls of every man that wears the Honolulu Blue.

There are only two possible outcomes this Sunday for anybody strapping on the Lions colors--Victory or Eternal Damnation.

And Eternal Damnation is nothing to scoff at. It's really, really bad news. Imagine your entire body being boiled away by scalding oil for all of eternity or worse yet, being forced to watch completely helpless as Sterling Sharpe runs away, completely uncovered for the go ahead touchdown pass -- again and again until your brain explodes...

Brett Favre has owned the Lions his entire career. This may be his last season (Ha! I've heard that horrible lie before.) Will the Lions allow him to own them forever?

It is time for the Mighty Kong to slay that venomous beast. To spear him and chew out his heart.

End the nightmare!

Where is Megatron?

The object of every defensive coordinator is to identify the opponents best weapon and then take that weapon away from them. This is what has happened to Calvin Johnson.

Opponents are double and tripling Calvin Johnson all the time. So the Lions do the age old sin...it makes me cringe every time I hear the phrase...they are "taking what the defense gives them."

Every Lions coach throughout time has used the phrase...and that is why they all deserve the special hell they will receive. You see good teams do not "take what the defense gives them," no they dictate to the defense what they are going to do.

Do you think that teams haven't been double and triple covering Randy Moss for years now? That they didn't do the same for Jerry Rice and Herman Moore and Andre Rison and Andre Johnson and Marvin Harrison and every other great receiver throughout time?

So either Megatron isn't really as good as he's been advertised or the Scott Linehan is a complete moron.

You do not let the other team take away what you do best. You do not let your opponent dictate what you can and can't do -- that is the excuse of losers and nobodies. Look for Megatron to get 10 catches this week or for a pack of wild timberwolves to feast on the corpse of Linehan before he can get back on the team plane Sunday evening.

Detroit Pride please everyone but the Ford's...

2010-09-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

Lions lose 35-32...Kansas Kid looks really bad.

2010-09-20T05:18:00.000-07:00

#1 Shaun Hill, the Kansas Kid, should probably give up the game and wander back to Kansas. I'm sure they're hiring at the Piggly Wiggly. The knock against Hill was supposed to be arm strength, but the real problem turned out to be his wild inaccuracy. Hill missed simple screens, long passes and even when he was able to complete a pass, rarely was the ball put in a place that didn't cause the receiver to have to slow down or stop in order to catch the pass. In fact, he looked a helluva lot more like Scott Mitchell than Erik Kramer.

#2 The third and one and fourth and one in the fourth quarter was bad on a couple levels. First of all it was good for Schwartz to challenge his team to get that one yard. Running the exact same play was not so good. No play action...no creativity...nothing. Also, it's really hard to run right over the center when the defense is smashing everybody and their fat uncle over the center...especially when you have a center that's about 30 lbs lighter than your average center.

#3 This game was no where near as close as the score indicates. Even though the Lions were within a field goal with the ball and a little less than two minutes on the clock. The Lions were once again up in the first half, this time 17-7, when they gave up 28 straight points. And the Lions couldn't get their offense going again until the Eagles went to a prevent defense.

#4 Don't take anything as a moral victory...moral victories are for suckers. Don't say, "we only lost by 3" and think that's improvement. 95% of NFL games are decided by 10 points or less.

#5 Jahvid Best is a stud.

#6 The Lions need to go hurry up during pregame warm ups.

#7 Two years ago, the Lions started every game down by at least 17 points when the clock rolled down to the second quarter. This year, the Lions have been up by at least 10 points midway through the second quarter...but have immediately imploded in both games. No lead is safe with the Lions defense. Expect the Lions to lose every week until they learn how to play with a lead. This is a young team and it needs to "learn how to win." It's a process that we've seen before in Detroit and hopefully it's something that Stafford, Suh, Best and Johnson will learn to do by the end of this season.

#8 A lot of star receivers need to get involved early in order to "stay focused" for the entire game. There have been lots of receivers who have had this tag attached to them, ie Randy Moss, Andre Rison, Herman Moore, etc. I don't know if Megatron falls into this category, but I do know that the Lions are not using him nearly enough. It seems like the Lions could be using Megatron on reverses and bubble screens, something to keep the defense honest. Opposing defenses would be forced to play up on Megatron in order to set up all the deep fly routes that the Lions have been sending him on.

3rd and 3 or less...

The average rush in the NFL goes for 4 yards, but most teams think they have to pass on these downs. 3rd and 3 or less is a chance for teams to play "smash mouth" football and impose their wills on the defense. 3rd and 3 or less is about attitude more than anything else.

The Lions faced 3rd and 3 or less three times on Sunday, going 1 of 2 rushing and 1 of 1 passing. So far the Lions are 2 of 4 running in this situation and 1 of 1 passing.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

The Detroit Lions continue to abhor the traditional sideline cheer squads that decorate the sidelines of other NFL fields. Lions fans continue to suffer under the tyranny of the Ford's and their incomprehensible aversion to professional dance teams--even though The Detroit Pride have begun the process on their own in Detroit.

It seems the Lions are doing everything in their power to dissuade the girls from continuing.

Currently only six of the NFL's 32 franchises have chosen to go without the all important cheer brigades--Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Detroit, Chicago, and the New York Giants.

Tales of the Inept

Next week I will begin the process of tracking the teams who will be in the race for the most important achievement in the NFL. The #1 pick in the draft...the Lions SuperBowl.

Lions Pride reveal proposed uniforms

2010-09-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

Items of note for Sunday and beyond...

2010-09-17T05:03:00.000-07:00

The Kansas Kid vs The Dark Lord

Let me paint a picture for you....

In a field of golden wheat, only a scant week or so from harvest time, a lazy wind wanders over the wheat stalks rolling like amber waves of...something. I'm not sure what. I think I've heard something like that somewhere before.

Anyway, in that field of rolling grain stands a man. Not an old man with too many years of riding the combine, nor a young man with stars in his eyes thinking about how some day he's going to shake the dirt of this town off his feet and see the world!

Nope, this guy standing in the Kansas wheat field, twirling a football in one hand as he looks off to the west, is roughly thirty years old. He's still got a few years left to realize his dream of becoming a Superbowl winning quarterback. But truthfully, he knows that his time is running out.

He's thrown a million footballs through hanging tires in his lifetime...

But right now, he just needs a job.

This journeyman didn't even start out with dreams of playing the NFL cathedrals on Sunday afternoons. He grew up as a basketball star, playing for his dad the coach. But he did play high school football. And he used that to play a little at the local junior college and he played well enough there that he got a full ride scholarship to an ACC school (Maryland).

He went undrafted though. He hadn't put up particularly brilliant numbers, but a guy who worked for the Minnesota Vikings (Scot Linehan) thought maybe he'd just give the guy a try out...let him throw the ball around the Metrodome for fun for a few days...send him home with a smile, some great stories, and maybe, if he's lucky, a signed jersey.

But that coach saw a little something in the Kansas basketball player and the Maryland QB managed to stick it out for a few years on the bottom of the Vikings roster.

But then there was a coaching change in Minnesota and the kid didn't have any kind of connections with the new staff...he was out on the road again.

This time he ended up in San Francisco with the hope of backing up a #1 overall pick in Alex Smith. A funny thing happened however, Smith never really played that well and the Kansas Kid had to step in and do mop up duties. He even managed to start a few games over the highly touted franchise quarterback.

A quarterback controversy bubbled up in the first year and then raged for another two years before the organization decided they were going to stop wasting the bajillions of dollars they'd given to Alex Smith and handed the starting job over to "star quarterback."

The Kansas Kid was out on the street again, but now he's thirty years old and the life of NFL quarterbacks after thirty is typically very, very short --unless you're the devil who wears the number 4.

But that old coach, the one who saw something in the Kansas Kid those so many years ago had gotten a new gig with this lowlife organization that hadn't won in 50 years....Linehan talked the Lions into trading a sixth round pick for the guy the forty-niners were going to toss on the trash heap.

And so, the Kansas Kid is once again backing up a #1 overall pick, but this time he's wiser. He's seen the writing on the wall and he's come to terms with it. He realizes now that even if he never is the MVP of the SuperBowl...backup NFL QB is a damn good paying job and he's more than happy to have it.

So he took up his clipboard and put those million passes through the hanging tire in the back of his mind.

But last week, The Franchize was disassembled by a fire breathing defensive end named Julius Peppers. That #1 overall pick may be a few weeks away from taking another snap. So the Kansas Kid puts down the clipboard, strings up the shoulder pads and picks up the old scratched and dented helmet.

It's time to play again for the Kansas Kid...

Meanwhile...

The Philadelphia Eagles team plane taxis the runway as the malevolent and dark one, Vick, leans back in his first class seat. Banished once already from the NFL for killing defenseless dogs in a sick and twisted form of sadist sport, Micheal Vick is getting a second chance at life.

He was supposed to be backing up the new "future of Philadelphia" in Kevin Kolb, but the new guy was pounded relentlessly against Green Bay the week before. So Vick gets a chance to take the reigns...

Sporting a darkened visor, black and foul as his soul, Vick will come into Ford Field and do battle against the dregs of the NFL, the Lions.

He claims to seek redemption. He claims that he has paid for his foulest sins, but there is no bleach strong enough to white wash the depths of evil from the man's soul.

Good vs Evil

I could break this game down by positions and talent levels, schemes versus schemes...but this battle, this legendary contest, is not about 34 defenses or 43 defenses, spread offenses or two tight end sets...this is return of the Kansas Kid, just looking for another chance at glory, against the Dark Lord of Evil...

Go Lions!!!! They're probably going to get killed...

More on Lions cheerleaders...

2010-09-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

Boy, the Ford's and the Lions organization sure are making it hard for these fans to even cheer as "fans." Click on the pic for the story in the Detnews.

Why the Lions can beat the Eagles...

2010-09-16T05:18:00.000-07:00

Shaun Hill

Upon the pedastals of honor in my own personal hallowed halls of the Lions Hall of Fame, there is a high place of honor for a quarterback that was fondly known by both his teammates and his fans as "Brass."

I remember reading in the back pages of the Detroit Free Press sports section one early Summer morning in 1991--in those days, that was pretty much the only time you got Lions news was in the tiny "transactions" blurb buried in the back of the paper-- that the Lions had signed a quarterback named Erik Kramer. Personally, I never thought about it again until training camp, afterall the Lions had just drafted Andre Ware and had gotten the depressingly injury prone Rodney Peete just two years before. Kramer was camp fodder in my mind.

But Erik Kramer turned out to be special.

He beat out the #1 draft bust, Andre Ware, for the backup job that summer and then...as was per usual, Peete got injured, Kramer had to step in.

1991 was an incredible year and Kramer's role in it cannot go unheralded...

Which brings me to Shaun Hill. Kramer was an unheralded, undrafted nobody QB out of an ACC school (North Carolina St.). Hill is an unheralded, undrafted nobody QB out of an ACC School (Maryland).

Hill managed to beat out Alex Smith, another highly touted draft bust in San Francisco building a 10-6 starting record while with the Niners.

In other words, he has found ways to win, despite otherworldly talents. He doesn't possess a massive "throw it through the moon" arm. He doesn't run like a gazelle. He isn't "strong like moose." He's just a quarterback...a football player...who has found ways to win despite his shortcomings.

Jahvid Best will not be so excited this week...

Word on the street, after days of film review, is that Best played like a rookie against the Bears last Sunday. The going theory is that he was too excited and too eager, not letting running plays develop like he could have. He left yards on the field, by not allowing an extra beat or two before plunging head first into the holes provided.

I don't know how much I buy that, but I'm not a professional football coach and I don't have game film to watch...so, if Schwartz says so...

This should not be the case come Sunday. This week the Lions will need Best to break a few and return to the promising young running back stud everybody thought he was in training camp.

We're due...

Calvin Johnson made that catch against Chicago and the Lions were robbed of a victory. I'm looking for a slue of "make up calls" this week. If there is any justice there will be more than a couple "questionable" calls that will amazingly be called for Detroit...perhaps a few holding calls that the refs will miss, an offensive pass interference that is blatantly ignored.

I think it is very possible the Lions win this week, because for every reason on Earth but a faulty, vague and despicable rule the Lions DID win last week.

Why the Eagles will pluck out the Lions' eyes...

2010-09-15T05:48:00.000-07:00

The Return of Mornhinweg!

The Lions will face another demon from their past this Sunday when Marty Mornhinweg returns to Ford Field as the Offensive Coordinator/Assistant Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Now the Detroit Lions have never had a head coach leave Detroit to find gainful employment as the head of another organization. This is fact. Sure, Dick Jauron managed, but he was only held the title of interim head coach.

It is very likely that with the mountain of evidence that has been accrued to show how incredibly inept and borderline mentally retarded Matt Millen was during his reign as mayor of Lionsland, that Mornhinweg may break the Lions' Coaching Curse.

Even with the castoffs and renegade losers that Millen decided to keep, Marty was able to produce a decent offense--even while being saddled with Joey Blue Skies. He is in no way associated with 0-16, although his record doesn't actually look a whole lot better.

Since leaving the padded cells of Ford Field and Allen Park, Marty has resided over the offense in Philadelphia, under the employment of perennial playoff contending coach Andy Reid. Now, perhaps his job was made thousands of times easier by being allowed to work with potential Hall of Fame quarterback Donavon McNabb, but his offenses and his playoff results are big, big bonuses on his resume and the rebuilding of his reputation.

Now that Reid has shipped McNabb off to Washington and handed the offense over to Kevin Kolb, if Marty is again successful, this could prove the last nail in the huge billboard to the NFL that reads "It was Millen's fault! Marty can coach!" I mean, just look at the two Marty pictures...he looks so much cooler now with the goatee. You know that has to count for something. It makes him look so much smarter, hipper--dare I say, eviler...

Resurrecting the Anti-Christ of Micheal Vick's career won't hurt him in the eyes of other NFL owners either.

Kevin Kolb is hurt and will most likely not play.

Eagles QB Kevin Kolb was clubbed like a baby seal by the Green Bay Packers last Sunday and is not approved to practice until at least Friday of this week. It's not often a team will allow a player to play in the game on Sunday after missing pretty much every practice, especially when the backup quarterback practically walked on water in your absence.

Vick managed to bring the Eagles back from a 20-3 deficit to a very exciting finish -- losing 27-20. He three for 176 yards and ran for more than another 100. He is a dynamic force.

The kind of force that the Lions have shown for years that they really have no inkling of how to stop. This is the main reason the Lions will crap the bed on Sunday and lose again.

Stafford's Bone Mites...

There is still no definitive word out of Allen Park about when the Franchize will once again grace the field for the Honolulu Blue. Not that the offense looked a whole lot better with him in there before Shaun Hill was forced into action. But still, the offense looked awful all day and even though the Lions went Tight End crazy this year, they are still pushing out a primarily three wide attack and still can't run the ball.

That whole drafting TE Brandon Pettigrew over LT Micheal Oher lookes worse and worse every day.

The Lions are doomed.

This weeks picks...

2010-09-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

I struggled to open the season in my picks, managing a mere 9-7 record. Not good.

Here are this weeks picks.

Cincinnati over Baltimore
Green Bay over Buffalo
Dallas over Chicago
Atlanta over Arizona
Tennessee over Pittsburgh
Oakland over St. Louis
Houston over Washington
Indianapolis over New York Giants
Carolina over Tampa Bay
Miami over Minnesota
Philadelphia over Detroit
Kansas City over Cleveland
Denver over Seattle
New York Jets over New England
San Diego over Jacksonville
New Orleans over San Francisco

Stafford has Bone Mites and radioactive syphilis..

2010-09-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

The true story may never come out in the free press. These are not "items of interest" that are fit to be consumed by the general public. A high brow ultra conservative establishment like the medical doctors of NFL organizations will not send out a world wide panic in regards to the pathologically contagious dilemma of "Bone Mites."

Right now, word on the street is that Matthew Stafford, The Franchize, could miss anywhere from two weeks to an entire geological epoch of time with what is being called a "Possible Second Degree Shoulder Separation."

In his Monday press conference, Jim Schwartz talked about his quarterback. "He's still dealing with a lot of soreness, he's still dealing with a lot of swelling -- very similar to what occurred to him last year. It's nothing that you can really put a timetable on. You can't say it's one week, two weeks, three weeks or 12 weeks, whatever it is.''

In other words, nobody really knows -- except me, of course. I know it's Bone Mites.

Bone Mites are a very, very dangerous and completely fictitious affliction which turns the bone marrow into a strange amalgamation of cottage cheese and strawberry jelly. Furthermore it turns the bones normal calcium to the consistency of rock candy.

Very contagious, especially in an NFL lockerroom where it usually is seen as a rash of very similar injuries. I was initially made aware of the possibility in the Lions organization after there seemed to be a rash of Groin Gremlins during training camp and OTA's.

Stafford may never be able to play again. He may never be able to lift his arm above the height of his elbow...he may also get leprosy--it's been known to happen.

The fact that both he and Aaron Berry contracted shoulder separations within a few minutes of each other is another sure fire indication of a major Bone Mite infiltration in the Lions lockerroom.

Don't even get me started on how, Mr. Stafford ended up with the radioactive syphilis. It's a strange world here in modern times.

I'm sorry, but I am in no way surprised...

I have very little interest in the New York Jets and their overly boisterous and egomaniacal coach, Rex Ryan. Nor do I have anything but contempt and disdain for the young Sanchize who continously tries to shoulder his way into the the talk of who was the best quarterback in last year's draft--which, if you saw last night's game, that should be pretty much all cleared up now.

What I do find interesting about the Jets though is Inez Sainz. The Mexican reporter from the Azteca network has made claims that the New York Jets made multiple lude comments and remarks to her from across the field as she covered several practices during practice last week. She states that the Jets even went so far as to move some of their drills in ways to ensure that players would be able to "bump" into her on the sidelines.

I tell you this, not because I am "outraged" that a bunch of millionaire, roid-raged athletes could be so Ape-like in their treatment of Ms. Sainz...but because I felt I had to show this picture.

Hey, I know what my readers want.

The "Process" is over now...

It doesn't matter in any way shape or form whether Megatron made the catch or not -- even though we all know he did. The plain and simple fact is, no matter how long we grumble and moan, the dorks over at the NFL offices are not giving us the win over Chicago. It is now time to start the long, ugly fear in figuring out how in the hell we are going to stop the dog killing bastard Micheal Vick this weekend.

Kevin Kolb, who played like complete horse crap last weekend before mercifully being bludgeoned into a concussion, will not practice until at least Friday, which means the ever mobile, ever dangerous, ever loathsome Vick will be taking snaps on Sunday at Ford Field.

I am now in the "process" of strangling myself...

2010-09-13T05:10:00.000-07:00

OK, before I get into the absolute absurdity of "the process" of a catch, let me say a few things.

1. The offensive line played abysmally. The fact that Jahvid Best averaged a monumental 1.4 yards per carry on 14 carries has got to be a huge embarrassment to every member of the offensive line. I'm embarrassed to have watched it. If you take out his two touchdown runs, he was even worse. 12 attempts for 9 yards...a whopping 3/4 of a yard per run.

If the Lions can't run against a makeshift Chicago Defensive line who wasn't even putting eight guys in the box...it doesn't look good.

2. Jeff Backus should be going to jail for manslaughter. Yeah, maybe he played well against Peppers the rest of the day, but on the one single most important play of the day, he let the Franchize get creamed. I'm surprised they didn't have to clean Stafford up off the field with a mop.

3. Aaron Berry looked like he might actually be a decent corner...so after his interception...he got hurt. Who knows if we'll ever see him again.

4. Scott Linehan's offense made the wishbone look ultra-radical. Never once, even when Stafford was still standing, did the Lions test the Bears defense deep. I take that back...they did try once in the first half on a Megatron target that managed to come down six inches out of bounds...perhaps another foreboding moment in the game.

5. At approximately 2:18 PM EST the Detroit Lions hit what I believe to be the high point of this entire season. They were up 14-3 on the Bears with under two minutes left in the half. They were causing turnovers, applying pressure, covering up for a weak secondary and they had the Bears pinned deep in their own territory. Everything was looking up.

And then the Honolulu Blue Flash struck.

Matt Forte took a screen pass 89 yards for a touchdown. The Lions get the ball back and Stafford gets disemboweled, fumbling the ball...and so in the space of a minute, that 14-3 lead is a 14-13 lead and everyone who has ever seen a snap of Lions football over the last 50 years knows that the Lions are doomed.

6. As you watched the rest of the game, as the defense seemed to come up with play after play to keep the Lions in the game, if you didn't know with all your heart that it was just a matter of time before the Lions managed to gift the game back to the Bears, then you are a fool. "Hope" is outlawed in Lions-ville.

7. Put a fork in this season if Stafford misses much more than three games. In fact, one has to start wondering if this high priced Messiah isn't actually an injury prone pariah. He has managed to play in only eleven games in a season and one game and he's gotten three different major injuries -- not to mention hurting a shoulder he has already hurt once in college.

8. If Kevin Kolb can't play next week for Philadelphia against the Lions next week...the Lions are dead. Does anybody remember what Dennis Dixon did against the Leo's in the preseason? Mike Vick is 10 times what Dennis Dixon is.

9. The goal line stance in the fourth quarter against the Bears was very, very impressive. Impressive in that Lovie Smith had absolutely no respect for Lions defense.

10. It's gotten to the point where it doesn't matter what happens in the game, you just have to realize that the NFL, the officials and apparently God himself will not allow the Lions to win. Whenever there is a replay review, I am pleasantly shocked and awed if the ruling ever goes for the Lions. It doesn't matter what the replays show, facts have nothing to do with anything that has anything to do with the Lions.

If there is a flag on the field, in my mind, it is already against the Lions. It doesn't seem like penalties happen against the other team. If the Lions get a great play, I am now conditioned to look for the holding call. This is Lions football.

Megatron caught the ball, had both feet down, had his butt down and then turned to get up, putting the ball down -- and that's an incompletion? Apparently, he should still be sitting on his but with one hand on the ball, because as soon as he lets go of that ball --especially when it means a Lions win--it will be an incompletion.

Has anybody ever heard of "completing the process?" Pure insanity.

11. If the Lions really wanted to win, they wouldn't have missed so many damn tackles in the first drive, not allowed the screen pass, blocked...anybody, and not had so many stupid penalties. The game should have never gotten to this point. At one point they had a 4-1 turnover advantage! That shouldn't be a 14-3 lead, that should be 21 or 28 point lead.

3rd and 3 or less

The average run in the NFL goes for 4 yards. Why teams think it is "tricky" or "smart" to try and pass in this situation is actually crazy to me now. I've been banging this drum for a long time now. I will say this, because you can't do anything 100% of the time, all teams should run in this situation 80-90% of the time.

The Lions faced the critical 3rd and 3 or less only twice. Incredibly, the Leos ran twice, converting only once. This season, 1 of 2 rushing.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had Cheerleaders?

Just a little something to help my readers as we continue to suffer under the tyranny of the Ford's and their incomprehensible aversion to professional dance teams.

Currently only six of the NFL's 32 franchises have chosen to go without the all important cheer brigades--Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Detroit, Chicago, and the New York Giants.

Tales from the Inept is coming...

I will also be keeping track of the most important statistic of the season. Wins and Losses. But no, I'm not keeping track of who's winning, because as everybody knows wins aren't in the Lions future. No, I'll keep track of the race to #1, the #1 pick.

Items of note for Sunday and beyond...

2010-09-10T05:29:00.000-07:00

Jahvid Best, Savior?

Jahvid Best is not now nor will every be Barry Sanders. The comparisons are starting to come out before the poor kid has even taken his first hand off in a real NFL game. Right now, Best is a rookie speed back with good hands and very questionable durability issues.

He hasn't run for 2000 yards in a season, not even 200 yet. But he has potential, boat loads of potential.

Let's let him score his first touchdown, finish his first big breakaway run in the endzone...lets let him do that for a few seasons, before we start anointing him the next great back.

Nathan Vasher, Savior?

The Lions worked out six year pro cornerback Nathan Vasher yesterday as a possible addition to the weakest area of the team. Vasher has a very good pedigree, but seems to have lost a lot of his luster. Vasher has 19 career interceptions in his six years while playing for the Bears and the Chargers.

Will he be an upgrade? Who knows? Many say that he's lost the aggressiveness which made him such a ball hawk early in his career and that's led to his recent journeyman status.

Fact of the matter is, he will not be signed before the Bears game because of rules in current Collective Bargaining agreement. These rules state that if a player is signed and plays in the first game of the season, his entire yearly contract becomes guaranteed. In signing Vasher after the first game, the Lions can then pay him on a game to game basis and if it doesn't work out, there isn't much of a financial hit to the organization.

Who's going to win on Sunday?

Well, technically, I will. Why? Because I've picked both the Bears and the Lions, unless a meteorite hits the stadium in the third quarter, somebody's going to win. Here's my firm belief, I really like the Lions to win, but I will not jinx them.

I simply have too many questions about the Lions secondary. I don't think they can cover anybody and that means that eventually, when the DL starts to get tired, Cutler will be able to get some time and score a lot of points.

And afterall, this is the Lions--on the road, where they've lost 20 straight--which definitely gives me the fear.

Bears 38, Lions 21.

Why the Lions can win in Chicago...

2010-09-09T05:54:00.000-07:00

#1 Mike Martz.

Again, I realize I put him on the reasons why the Bears should win, but the madness of Martz is a very sharp two edged sword. Whereas he can dissect an opposing defense like few others and can definitely produce very high quality play from his players...he's also incredibly stubborn and will surely spend most of his day fighting down the demons deep within him that will be clawing at his soul to go back to his seven step drops and deep passing to take full advantage of the Lions putrid secondary.

If he does that, Cutler will get sacked, probably often.

It is not within Martz's nature to leave such a glaring weakness alone. He is a nasty fiend who loves to use his powerful magnifying glass on burning opposing defenses as much as ants and, as is his fondest desire in the future, people.

#2 Sgt. Pick and Shovel

Lovie Smith saw the Lions abysmal record over the three years that Marinelli steered the ship. He saw the historically worst defenses ever displayed in the game of professional football. He saw 0-16 and he said to himself...."I need that guy!"

Smith is on his deathbed in Chicago. The fans are calling for his underachieving head and then will march on the complex and most likely toss him and GM Jerry Angelo from the tallest building. Their bodies will be tarred and burned. The corpses will be mercilessly left on Michigan Ave to be run over for 24 hours by all forms of passing traffic.

Chicago is a football town. They have let the Chicago Cubs get away with putrescence for years, but they will not be so lenient with their own Monsters of the Midway.

Eight years of Millen would have never stood in Chicago. Millen's head would be displayed on a pike next to the highest flag pole of Soldier Field.

So in these conditions, under this kind of life or death pressure, Smith and Angelo decided their best course of action would be to promote an arguably mentally disabled former Lion coach to the position of defensive coordinator.

I fear that some time in December or November, there's going to have to be a public service announcement in Chicago which will read, "No, we didn't install any new speed bumps on Michigan Ave this week..."

#3 The Franchize

Stafford has looked very, very good this offseason. He now has more than one weapon in his offense. It is no longer the Stafford to Johnson show followed by the Stafford to (quadruple covered) Johnson show.

He now has the ability to hand off to Jahvid Best, a serious threat to score any time he gets the ball. Nate Burleson is now available to take some of the coverage from Megatron, along with two very good tight ends in Scheffler and Pettigrew.

And most importantly, a very porous offensive line has looked very good with the addition of Rob Sims and the return of injured RG Stephen Peterman -- and improved play of Gosder Cherilus.

The Franchize has shown complete command of the offense and for the most part has displayed a much better handle on his decision making, drastically cutting down on his interceptions -- so far.

And did I mention, he's going up against a defense that's being run by Sgt. Pick and Shovel?

The Struggling Ones Picks for Week One

2010-09-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

I was invited by Ron Steenhagen, creator of the SSR Logo, to play in his pick'em league this year. As a service to any of my readers, I will post my picks each week. We are not picking against the spread and please do not come to me if you lose your house, cars, wives, pets or children.

This is not advice, this is for entertainment only and, for the most part, these are just wild ass guesses on my part.

Week One

Saints over the Vikings
Colts over the Texans
Steelers over the Falcons
Bengals over the Pats
Titans over the Raiders
Niners over the Seahawks
Packers over the Eagles
Ravens over the Jets
Dolphins over the Bills
Bears over the Lions
Buccaneers over the Browns
Broncos over the Jaguars
Panthers over the Giants
Cardinals over the Rams
Cowboys over the Skins
Chargers over the Chiefs