Monday, November 29, 2010

Lions keep up with Thanksgiving Tradition

I am so tired of hearing about how the Lions "play like turkeys"...the Lions "got stuffed again"..they "lose their heads"...they just suck...

I know it's all true...but I tire of hearing it.

It's time to start talking about the draft again now. The Lions are 2-9 and any chance for respectability has, once again, exited stage left for the season.

And even though reporters and sportscasters keep trying to raise the spirit of Phil Simms in regards to Matt Stafford's constant injured status...I don't buy it. For every Phil Simms, an "injury prone" quarterback who rebounded to have a startling career, there are a thousand who haven't and there is nothing in Stafford's demeanor or history that leaves me with any reason to think he is the one in a million Phil Simms and not a Todd Marinovich or Ryan Leaf.

So what do the Lions need? What don't they need? Did you see the fourth quarter on Thanksgiving?

OK, other than Bill Parcells, what do they most need? Linebackers, corners, and offensive lineman.

Let me tell you what I like about this team...Ndamukong Suh, Calvin Johnson, Brandon Pettigrew, and Stefan Logan. Most everybody else, I'm up in the air about.

The Lions went through a lot of effort to build a decent defensive line, so let's see if that can't gel better over the next two years --although VandenBosch is already 34, he will need to be replaced soon...but probably not this year.

The defensive backs were a major league embarrassment last year. Going into this season, everyone was nervous about them, and rightly so, but Chris Houston and Alphonso Smith, Thanksgiving debacle notwithstanding, have proven to be pretty good. But, neither one is the shut down primary corner the Lions need. They are both very good #2's, but neither is a #1. That's what I think the Lions need...a true #1 shutdown corner--if there isn't a left tackle worthy of the #2 pick...

Yeah, that's right, if the draft ended today, the Lions would be right back in their familiar draft slot of #2. Everyone, please keep telling me about how much they've "improved." If you were able to do it with a straight face, you're either a comedian or certifiable.

One thing the Lions have emphatically proven so far this season, is that even if you have a good to great defensive line, if you don't have linebackers, teams will still be able to run on you. Levy missed the first four games and has looked good since coming back, but Peterson has had a rough year and I can't even remember the name of the guy playing opposite of him. Does that tell you anything?

Tomorrow, we can start talking about the offense...

Monday, November 22, 2010

Isn't it refreshing? Everything is back to normal...


All of that blown up nonsense about how this was a different team and that they were "heading in a different direction," it was all just a bunch of useless propaganda and lies. The Lions are no different today than they were three years ago. Oh, sure there are some new players and they supposedly have "bright" futures...but I don't buy it for a second. There are just different names on the backs of the same losing, talent deficient players.

The Lions may never be any good.

That's a hard line for me to write. I've lived and died and shed blood while rooting for this odd assortment of useless swamp gas over the last thirty years. I never really believed that I would say something like that...but there it is--in black and white and for the historical record.

This was the weekend I officially gave up. Was it because they lost to the Cowboys in a purely comical fashion? My wife thought I was choking or something as a strange maniacal laugh crept up my throat and I couldn't stop laughing for two minutes as I watched Cowboys return man Bryan McCann return a punt...that was supposed to be downed inside the three yard line...97 yards for a touchdown. It seems the absurdity of that play kicked me over a final ledge.

The fact that the Lions have horrid coaching, talentless players, inept management and a seemingly blind obsession with losing in more despicable and ludicrous ways every week notwithstanding...I've always managed to maintain my fanaticism for the team.

I now have a bright and shiny new dream.

This is Thanksgiving weekend--a hallowed time in the city of Detroit. This is typically "firing" weekend at Ford Field.

My dream is named "Bill Parcells."

Now, before all of you deluded souls out there start screaming nonsense about how "it's only been two years" and "you have to give them time" and "look what they had to start with", let me say this, look what they have now.

Matt Millen was lauded across the country for drafting Charles Rogers, Joey Harrington, Roy Williams and Kevin Jones. Martin Mayhew is being lauded for Calvin Johnson (even though Megatron is a Millen pick), Matt Stafford, Jahvid Best and Kevin Smith. Is there any difference between these two groups? Really? Because I'm pretty sure that neither group ever knocked on the door of .500.

Both sets have been losers so far.

Parcells has left the Miami Dolphins and may be able to be brought into the Lions organization. Broom out Mayhew and Schwartz for a PROVEN WINNER. Parcells rebuilt the Giants, the Jets, the Patriots, the Cowboys, and the Dolphins. He turned every one of those teams into a playoff team.

Let me say that again...FIVE TEAMS, FIVE PLAYOFF TEAMS....five for five is 100%...I'm not a math wiz, but I'm pretty sure that a guy with a 100% track record has a much higher percentage chance of being successful than the guy who was trained by the WORST GM IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS!

Parcells has flirted with the Ford's and the Lions organization before...rumor has it that he wants to go one more round in the NFL...the ultimate challenge in sports would be rebuilding the lowly Lions.

But it will most likely not happen. It is too obvious for the Ford's to look at. Instead, after the Lions are beaten by 238 points this Thursday in another horrible, horrible showing on Thanksgiving day...they'll spout some more nonsense about "patience" and "rebuilding" and all will stay the same...

Nothing will change, everything will stay the same...the Lions are losers.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Picks are looking pathetic.

I went a very poor 7-7 last week. Bringing my totals to 83-71.

Dolphins over Bears
Packers over Vikings
Titans over Skins
Chiefs over Cards
Ravens over Panthers
Bengals over Bills
Cowboys over Lions
Jets over Texans
Steelers over Raiders
Jags over Browns
Saints over Seahawks
Falcons over Rams
Niners over Bucs
Pats over Colts
Eagles over Giants
Chargers over Broncos

A little catch up

OK, due to the Lions having harpooned any real hope I've had for them getting better in my lifetime or the subsequent lifetimes of my children and grandchildren, I have been lax this week in regards to the Lions. This combined with the putting the finishing touches on a movie filmed last year and actually having to put in some real "work" at the paying gig...

I'm back today and apparently I haven't missed much. I believe I read somewhere that Matt Stafford had his right arm chewed off at the shoulder in a very freak hottubbing accident in Redford...of course I haven't been able to confirm this.

Let me cover the weekly running items that the Lions malaise sucked me of the energy to write on Monday.

3rd and 3 or less

The Lions couldn't run against the worst rush defense in the NFL...I think they should really start considering punting on second down. They've reached a dingy and faded new level of pathetic.

For the second week in a row, despite trying to "establish the run" the Lions abandoned the run on all 3rd and 3 or less situations. Going 2 of 5 passing. This brings their season totals to 9 of 14 (65%) rushing and 11 of 26 passing (42%). Keep up the good work guys...that's smart coaching...

Blocked punts?

Nope, didn't even come close.

Fade Stop?

Not a one.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

Yeah, it sure would...but the Lions and the Detroit metro area went another week without a single mention of the Detroit Pride.

Tales of the Inept

The Carolina Panthers (1-8) took another unholy beating from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

The Buffalo Bills (1-8) collected their first win of the season against the lowly and pathetic losers, the Lions.

It will not be long until the Lions are back on this list.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The only thing the Lions are good at is breeding apathy

We've been duped.

1. In the last three years, if the Lions are not providing the only win for the worst team in the league, they are proving that they can do being bad even better, by going winless.

2. The Bills are a bad team...awful. The Lions let them control the entire game. The Lions couldn't run against the team with the worst rushing defense in the NFL. What does that mean? I think it means that the Lions have to petition to play in Division 2A in order to have any hope of being able to run the ball.

3. The offensive line was supposed to be decent, instead they are decrepit.

4. Jahvid Best is not breaking any tackles...he has apparently decided to try and take Kevin Smith's place as "promising, but disappointing."

5. Megatron is supposed to be an all pro NFL receiver and yet he drops two passes in a row on what is supposed to be the game winning drive?

6. This was at least the third game in a row with 10+ penalties against the Lions. If that doesn't scream coaching problem, I don't know what does.

7. Uggg...I just don't care...the Lions....maybe tomorrow....

Friday, November 12, 2010

Items of note for Sunday and beyond

Shaun Hill did very admirably in his first stint as emergency Lions starting quarterback. Here is hoping he can do the same again on Sunday.

The Lions are not favored against an 0-8 Bills team...people all over the country are talking about how improved the Lions are...but obviously they don't really believe it. The Bills are giving 3 points to the Lions....ouch.

You've got to watch Johnson in this game--no, not Calvin or even Bryant...Steve Johnson. He's the leading receiver for the Bills. His numbers for this season, 41 catches, 554 yards, 6 TDs.

Kevin Smith, Jahvid Best and the offensive line should--I repeat, should--have a field day against the 32nd ranked run defense.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is starting at QB for the Bills now....he's a former Harvard grad. That's pretty much his only claim to fame in the NFL. On the field, he hasn't looked great.

The Lions currently can continue the Bills wretched season or help them stop it. As the only winless team in NFL history, let's hope the Lions continue the Bills' winless season attempt.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Why the Lions will run down the Bills...

The Return of the Kansas Kid

Here's hoping that Shaun Hill and his broken non-throwing forearm are healthy enough to take direct snaps this weekend. Of course there is always the million to one shot that he'll take every snap from the shotgun and the Lions will usher in a bright new day in NFL football with a sparkling new concept for NFL offenses...the return of the K-Gun or something....

Who am I kidding? Poor guy will probably have his withered arm ripped off and thrown into the stands some time in the second quarter.

Jahvid Best

The kid is due. Best scored five touchdowns in his first two games and has been held out of the endzone ever since. The Bills are currently ranked dead last in rushing defense. Something has got to give.

Calvin Johnson/Nate Burleson

Johnson's game against Revis last week showed the world something...Burleson can pick up the slack. The Buffalo Bills are currently ranked sixth against the pass, which would be good, if you didn't realize that teams aren't passing against them, because they're running out the clock in most cases. They don't pass, because they don't have to.

Either way, the Bills do not have good enough corners to contain both the Lions receivers.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Why the Bills will stampede the Lions...

Before I go into why the Bills will end their winless season against the Lions this weekend...much like the Rams ended their winless season last year against the Lions, let me say a few things about the future of the Detroit Lions.

It is not looking nearly as bright as it did a few scarce days ago.

From this point forward every fan and member of the Lions organization has have a nugget of terrifying fear that Stafford will go down again with the next hit for a long time...instantly ruining another season.

What do Colt McCoy, Chad Henne, Tavaris Jackson, Matt Schaub, Drew Brees, Charlie Batch, Brian Griese, Jake Plummer, Brett Favre, Randall Cunningham, Frank Reich and Joe Montana all have in common? They were all drafted in the second or third round.

And this is exactly what the Lions will begrudgingly have to do. Use a very vital draft pick to ensure that they have an able backup from now on. Sure Shaun Hill is signed for another year and the Kansas Kid has proven respectable, no doubt. But the fragility of Stafford means that you hope he'll stay injury free, but you're counting on Shaun Hill as your starter...and you cannot count on Drew Stanton to be your backup.

Drew Stanton

This is the main reason the Bills are salivating as they wait for the Lions to come into town. For all intents and purposes Drew Stanton is more a slow running back than a viable NFL quarterback. He has been in training for four years and he has yet to do more than generate a few fourth quarter preseason comebacks. A fourth quarter preseason come back is about as useful as racking up great intramural flag football stats.

They do not equate to the NFL.

@ Buffalo

Does that say enough? The Lions are still in the midst of a 24 game road losing streak. The Lions could be playing St. Peter's Blind Nunnery and if it were at the convent, I'd still be pretty worried.

The Bills

The Bills, though 0-8, have been playing very good football the last three weeks, but they seem to suffer a Lions complex...in other words they do their best to blow it in the end.

We'll see which team wants to win this one less.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Banner week for picks

In a mammoth comeback, I managed a 10-3 mark last week. This brings me up to a 76-54 record for the season. Again, looking a bit better than sucky...

Ravens over Falcons
Jags over Texans
Bears over Vikings
Bucs over Panthers
Bills over Lions
Jets over Browns
Titans over Dolphins
Colts over Bengals
Chiefs over Broncos
Giants over Cowboys
Cards over Seahawks
Rams over 49'ers
Steelers over Pats
Eagles over Redskins

A Eulogy for Matthew Stafford...


Let me first say this...injuries are going to happen in the NFL. The idea of having 200-350+ lb men running into each other at high speed a 100 or so times a game leads to inevitable contusions, broken bones, concussions, sprains and a boat load of other injuries.

Injuries are unavoidable, really. Who gets them and when is more luck than anything else. Or bad luck depending on if you're the injured or not.

Injuries are a big part of the game...but they are not a prominent feature in successful careers. Overcoming injuries and avoiding injuries all together are the hall mark of long lasting hall of fame careers.

Stafford has incurred four major injuries in the span of a mere 13 games. He, as of now, is officially "injury prone." This is probably the single worst label that can be pinned on an NFL player. He is not officially done this season, yet. That should happen later on today. Which means that in his two full seasons in the league, he will have played in just over a third of his possible games.

The saddest part for the Lions is that when Stafford has played, he's looked very good. He is a star quality NFL Franchise quarterback. He is the kind of player you build a team around.

But you cannot build around a player that is going to spend two thirds of his time on the bench.

Yes, the Lions can get Stafford surgery to repair his separated throwing shoulder and hope that he comes back strong and with no ill effects--it worked for Sam Bradford--but they cannot count on that happening. Furthermore, they cannot go another game, even another play, with Stafford on the field and not worry every time he takes a hit of any kind.

The tackle he was hurt on on Sunday was a normal football play, a pretty mild one at that.

You cannot have four "freak" injuries in the span of 13 games. After two, they cease to be "freak" and begin to be "alarming."

The Lions must begin making plans for the future that are not completely centered around the former franchise quarterback. Oh, sure they can hope he comes back healthy and dominating and everything they hoped he'd be...but they can no longer justifiably count on it.

Shaun Hill, the Kansas Kid, has proven to be a very reliable backup and the Lions will most likely rush him back onto the field, broken arm and all, with hopes of getting three or four more wins this season.

Drew Stanton has proven that he is not a viable backup in the NFL. Surely he will get chances to prove me wrong this season, but next April the Lions should--need to-- be looking for the second or third round quarterback that slips through the cracks. There seems to be one every year. Colt McCoy was last year and he's putting up good numbers and even winning with the Browns.

You can say that Stanton was one of those quarterbacks, but he was a Millen pick, and if you really believe that, I feel sorry for you.

Sure the hope is that Stafford comes back with a new shoulder and hasn't been destroyed by recurring injuries (Charles Rogers, anybody?). But plans have to be made to cope with the real chance that he doesn't. The Lions have managed to assemble too much talent to let it be wasted by the likes of a Drew Stanton or other third string nobody.

Monday, November 8, 2010

My hatred of the Lions has been fully renewed...

I know there are different players. I know that the coaching staff is completely changed. I know that we have new management and a new field and...it doesn't matter. These are the "Same old Lions." The Lions had a 10 point lead with just over four minutes left in the game. They couldn't get a first down to run out the clock. They threw incomplete passes to stop the clock and give the Jets more time and when the game was on the line and all they needed was one stop or one first down...they folded like a house of cards.

"Same Old Lions" a definition

1. Absolutely no skill or aptitude for a particular task or assignment; The "Same Old Lions" fail to run the ball. The "Same old Lions" are inept in regards to winning.
2. generally akward or clumsy; haplessly incompetent.
3. inappropriate; unsuitable, out of place.
4. absurd or foolish
5. Unable or unwilling to finish or complete a task

The "Same Old Lions" are a wallowing mass of failure that will creep up your leg and leave you diseased and confused. This is a team without the heart to finish games they clearly have in hand. This game against the Jets was the epitome, the very definition, of "Same Old Lions."

All week the team talked about how they were on the verge of confirming their legitimacy as a dangerous NFL football team--as a competent NFL football team. But alas, they blew it. They were beating a Super Bowl contending team by 10 points with a mere four minutes left in the game...and then, when all was well and good and right in the world...they pissed it away with stupid penalties, horrible blocking and downright stupid play calling.

This game is why the Lions have consistently lost even more fans than games over the last 10 years, if that's even possible.

What makes me most angry is that I bought into it. I looked at the schedule and saw hope for the first time in a very, very long time. But right on cue, the Lions doused any chance of that sticking around.

Oh, and they probably lost Stafford for another huge chunk of the season, if not the rest of the season.

1. I'm just going to come out and say this: Matt Stafford is more delicate than a China Doll. He has the strength and resiliency of paper mache. He is a good quarterback. He was outplaying the Sanchize up until the point he got hurt on an incredibly routine tackle. There was nothing malicious or rough about it. The guy just got tripped up as he left the pocket.

2. He is no longer "The Franchize," he is a $50 million injury settlement waiting to happen.

3. Why is the Lions' second option at kicker a 300 lb defensive tackle? Why not the punter? I'm sure that dude's kicked a few extra points in his career. Hey everybody! Before punters started taking the snaps for field goals, quarterbacks were typically the guys to do it. Are you saying Stanton can't hold for a damn field goal and Harris couldn't have kicked a ^&$^& extra point?!?!?

4. This game was the first one in a very long time that actually caused me to scream uncontrollably.

5. Stephen Peterman needs to go two or three games without a penalty, or else somebody needs to run that bastard over with a truck.

6. Why is Derrick Williams even on the roster? Guy has done nothing but draw game changing detrimental stupid penalties.

7. Why is Bryant Johnson still on the roster? Why do the Lions throw to him? He can't catch.

8. Dominic Raiola has played center long enough to know how to snap the ball and what is illegal and what is not in regards to that. His stupid double flinch was atrocious, but that he argued about it was imbecilic.

9. 3rd and 6 with two minutes left and a three point lead. Worst case scenario the Lions run the ball into the pile for no gain and burn 40 seconds off the clock...right? Nope, the Lions decide to pass, incomplete, and only take 5 seconds off the clock...that's solid game planning. Why the Lions weren't running the clock down to 2 seconds the entire fourth quarter is beyond me.

10. No, it's not beyond me. There's no mystery about it at all. The Lions weren't squeezing every last second out of the clock, because that's what good teams do. They seize control of the game and end it. They don't give the other team repeated chances to get back in it. The Lions didn't do it, because they're not a good team. They're not even good at pretending they are anymore.

3rd and 3 or less.

The Lions cannot run the ball...at all. The offensive line is pathetic and would probably have issues running against a team of ADHD toddlers. But still...the average NFL run is 4 yards a carry, the Lions border on 3. On 3rd and 3 or less...YOU RUN 90% of the time. You won't always get it, no team is effective 100% of the time, but you will get be successful a higher percentage of the time running than you will passing.

So the Lions faced the crucial down and distance only three times on Sunday and what did they do...passed all three times. 1 for 3 passing (albeit the one success was a touchdown, but that doesn't matter in this statistic) 0 for 0 running. On the season, the Lions are 9 of 14 (65%) rushing and 9 of 21 passing (48%) ...

Still haven't blocked a punt

I think the Lions may have actually attempted, once, to block a punt, but I can't be completely sure. Obviously, they weren't successful. They did manage some nice returns, when they weren't called back by stupid penalties.

And apparently the Kong is our new field goal kicker. This is how absurd the Lions are now.

Where is the fade stop?

The most dangerous foolproof play in football was completely ignored again this Sunday. I know Darrelle Revis is really good, but he can't out leap Megatron. Johnson is six inches taller than Revis...they couldn't get that to work...child, please...

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

The Lions organization continues to ignore the attempts of the Pride to become a legitimate sideline cheer squad for Detroit. In my book, this is a huge crime by the Ford's--a crime against Detroit...a crime against humanity...

Oh wait, the Lions are the crime against humanity...no cheerleaders is a parking violation in comparison.

Tales of the Inept...

The Carolina Panthers (1-7) lost 34-3 to the New Orleans Saints as the John Fox farewell tour continues.

The Dallas Cowboys (1-7) lost 45-7 to the Packers in what should probably be Wade Phillips last game coaching the Cowboys. Just in time for the 'Boys to bounce back against the Lions in two weeks.

The Buffalo Bills (0-8) lost to the Chicago Bears 22-19. You don't think the Bills are foaming at the mouth waiting for a Drew Stanton led Lions team to show up next week?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Items of note for Sunday and beyond

The Lions can get out of the basement of the NFC North with a victory over the Jets and a loss by the Vikings to the Cardinals. I know...keep dreaming.

The Lions sold out this game against the Jets earlier than any other game in years. Many think there will be a playoff atmosphere at Ford Field this Sunday. That's funny...I used "Lions" and "Ford Field" and "playoffs" all in the same paragraph....

The Lions defensive line can be dominant in this game, but the Jets may still manage a decent running game because the Lions linebackers are so mediocre.

If the Lions can force Mark Sanchez to have to make plays in order to win...they'll be in really good shape.

If Ladanian Tomlinson and Shonn Greene can combine for over 150 yards, the Lions will probably lose big.

The Jets wide receivers are pretty overrated. Guys like Braylon Edwards and Santonio Holmes have both shown flashes in their careers, but never been "THE" guy for anybody. This is a matchup that may favor the Jets against Chris Houston and Alphonso Smith...but it could be closer than you'd think.

Franchize vs Sanchize is a big show this Sunday, but don't put too much stock in the winner or loser. Sanchez comes in with a well established running game and the #1 defense in the league.

Farewell Sparky...

I miss Sparky already. I know he'd been out of the spotlight for a long time, but last year when he showed up for the 25th anniversary of the '84 Tigers it really brought back a lot of memories. He was a great man. He'll be missed by anyone who loves the old english "D".

I urge anyone who can to go out and read Anderson's book, "Bless You Boys" about the '84 Tigers.

Why the Lions will dismantle the Jets

The Defensive Line is looking dominant

The Lions had seven sacks last week against the Redskins--two each by Vanden Bosch, Suh and Avril. Why no sacks for Corey Williams? Because he was the one being double teamed all day leaving the others free in one on one matchups.

Unless the Jets start employing an innovative 9 man offensive line formation, the Lions will be in the backfield with the Sanchize.

Both Willams and Suh demand double teams, if you fail to double either one...one of them will be in the backfield picking his teeth with the broken bones of your quarterback at some point in the game.

Megatron vs Revis Island

Darrelle Revis is the best corner back in the NFL. He is no longer holding out and he is no longer injured. He will be faced up routinely against Calvin Johnson.

This is Johnson's time to prove he is an elite receiver in the NFL. Players prove that they are the best by beating the best. There should be no shortage of motivation for Johnson to play his best game of his career.

The Lions need this one

This is hardly a legitimate reason to proclaim a pending Lions victory, but in a town that has put up with ten years of epic ineptitude, a win against a potential Super Bowl team would be monumental. And it's not completely out of the question. Last week the Jets didn't just lose to the Packers...they were shut out...at home.

Mark Sanchez is a media darling and I'm sure lots of women like to look at him...but he is still very early in his career development at quarterback and he has had very rough stretches this season.

And he has never faced the Kong before either.

I'm hoping...hoping I haven't jinxed them.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Why the Jets will blow past the Lions...

Now the race is on. The race between the Lions and Vikings to see who can escape the NFC North cellar first.

Granted, the Vikings probably have a much better chance of breaking out this week than the Lions. They face off against a struggling Arizona Cardinals team, while the Lions play the NY Jets, a team with Super Bowl aspirations...but the Jets were beaten last weekend by the Packers in an ugly, ugly 9-0 game.

The Sanchize

Mark Sanchez was drafted just four picks behind the Franchize, but because he was drafted by the Jets, a team with an already dominant defense and a running game, people tend to believe that Sanchez is the better quarterback. After all, he's already been to the playoffs and has been in a GQ spread with that model. These are good reasons to think that way...but it isn't true.

Sanchez has had good stretches this year, but for the most part he has struggled mightily with the Jets offense. For instance, they were shut out last week against the Packers...a team the Leos put 26 points on the board against.

By the way, to any ladies who read my blog, I thought that pic of the Sanchize might be some kind of small consolation for all the cheer babes I post.

Darrelle Revis

Revis is the best corner in the NFL. He will be locked up all day with Megatron. This is the hardest assignment Calvin has every gone up against. This game will probably boil down to how the best corner in the game matches up against the physical freak that is Megatron. Revis has shut down Moss, T.O., Chad Ochocinco...pretty much everyone he has ever faced. If he takes away Megatron from the Lions it could be a long, long day.

Amari Spievey?

As much as I have no confidence in C.C. Brown and have called for Spievey to get more playing time, the fact that the former Iowa corner will now be the Lions full time safety has me more than a little worried.

Amari was victimized on more than a few occasions after he was called to duty on Sunday. He has to step up his game from now on...and hopefully we'll be seeing the future of a very good, young secondary.

I can hope, can't I?

A respectable week for picks

Not as bad as some weeks, not as good as another...I went 8-5 last week, bringing my season totals to 66-51...not too shabby.

Falcons over the Bucs
Saints over Panthers
Bears over Bills
Jets over Lions
Ravens over Dolphins
Patriots over Browns
Chargers over Texans
Vikings over Cards
Giants over Seahawks
Colts over Eagles
Chiefs over Raiders
Packers over Cowboys
Steelers over Bengals

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Interviewing Randy Moss...

Well, after Randy Moss told the media that he'd only be asking himself questions from now on, I figured I'd just watch and see how the interview of the schizophrenic went.

Randy Moss: Hello, I'm glad you all could make it here today....especially me. I'm really glad I'm here today...in Boston still, I guess.

RM: Randy, how do you feel about being waived by Brad Childress yesterday?

Randy Moss: I was what? That dude done me wrong. Are you serious?

RM: Yes, you were officially released by the Vikings yesterday.

Randy Moss: Wow....I can't believe it. They give any reason?

RM: The details have been shaky, Randy. But I heard them say something about you not buying into the offense, not putting forth a good effort and being generally lethargic. Not paying attention.

Randy Moss: Not paying attention. They got that all wrong. I been telling the coaches all week what to look out for in New England. I told'em all about this dude they got named Tom...Tom Somebody...dude is good. And they didn't listen. It was like they thought they knew that already.

RM: I can't believe they wouldn't listen to you.

Randy Moss: I know man, right? Coach Bellichek is the greatest coach ever. Way better than my coach now...I don't even know that dude's name. Burt or Bennie or...whatever. Dude's a loser.

RM: That's pretty much what you said in your press conference. You think that might have had something to do with you getting cut?

Randy Moss: I said that....I can't remember anything from yesterday...I was so high! What's your name again? You seem cool. I wanna hang with you.

RM: Randy Moss.

Randy Moss: Hey, that's my name! That is so weird.

RM: I know, man. I'm a really big fan!

At this point everything just degenerated into a Randy Moss self-love fest and I got kind of nauseous.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Randy Moss - Post game interview

Yesterday, Randy Moss took crazy and prima-donna wide receiver-ness to a whole new level in his post game comments. Today, he has been waived by the Vikings. Tomorrow, I plan to have an interview with Randy Moss...well, he'll interview himself and then give me the answers.

Transcript:



"I'm going to go ahead and start this thing off. I'm going to go ahead and say this. I think I said something a couple weeks ago. Look, I got fined $25,000 for not speaking to you all. Me personally, I really don't care. But at the same time, I do answer questions throughout the week. For the league to fine me $25,000, I'm not going to answer any more questions for the rest of this year. If it's going to be an interview, I'm going to conduct. So I'll answer my own questions. I'll ask myself the questions, then give y'all the answers. So from here on out, I'm not answering any more questions for the rest of this season. Enough said of that, now we'll get to the game.

"Let me hold it down. Alright. I really haven't had a chance to talk to the guys, so this is no disrespect to the Minnesota Vikings and their organization. The captains, Wilfolk, Tommy Boy, Mayo, Kevin Faulk, man I miss them guys, man, I miss the team. It was hard for me to come here and play. It's been an up and down roller coaster emotionally for me all week. And then to be able to come in here and see those guys, running plays and I know what they're doing, and the success they had on the field, the running game, so I kind of know what type of feeling they have on their locker room, man. I just want to be able to tell the guys, I miss the hell out of them, every last helmet in that locker room.

"I mean, Deion Branch came up to me after the game. I've never had a chance to meet Deion Branch, but it was definitely a pleasure to meet him. Coach Belichick, he gave me an opportunity to be a part of something special. That's something I really take to heart. I actually salute coach Belichick and his team and the success they've had before me, during me and after me. So I'm actually stuck for words, just because of the fact that, man, this is just, a lot of memories here. To the New England Patriots fans, that ovation at the end of the game, that really felt heart-warming. I think I actually shedded a tear for that.

"Like I said, it's been an emotional roller coaster all week. Tried to prepare, tried to talk to the players and coaches about how this game was going to be played, couple tendencies here and a couple tendencies here. The bad part about it, is you have six days to prepare for a team, and on the seventh day, that Sunday, meaning today, I guess they come over and say, 'Dag Moss, I guess you was right about a couple plays and a couple schemes they were going to run.' And it hurts as a player, that you put a lot of hard work in during the week, and at the end of the week, Sunday, when you get on the field, that's when they acknowledge about the hard work that you put in throughout the week. That's actually a disappointment.

"I can't really say enough about this team and this organization. I met with Mrs. Kraft before the game because I really didn't have a chance to talk to her before I left. I thanked Mrs. Kraft for letting me have the opportunity to be a part of something special. The New England Patriots have always been a special organization and I've always watched from afar.

"When I got drafted by Minnesota, and I think I said this a couple weeks ago, I think I felt obligated to bring a Super Bowl to Minnesota. And this season is still not over. Do I know what next season and the future is going to bring? No, I do not. But all I can say is that it's a lot of work that we leave on the field each day.

"There is a lot of film study that we leave in that room each day. I know how hard these guys work in New England and the only thing that I really tried to do was take what the best coach in football history has brought upon me, or the knowledge that he's given me about the game of football, and I tried to sprinkle it off to the guys the best way I know how. So I'm going to go ahead and end this interview, I have my family to see.

"Definitely down that we lost this game because I didn't expect us to lose this game knowing that we had a few things that we had to clean up. But like I said, they played a good game. I wish we could have had that three at the end of the half. Maybe it could have been different. Maybe not. I don't know how many more times I'm going to be up here in New England, but I'm going to leave the New England Patriots, coach Belichick, man, with a salute. Man, I love you guys. I miss you. I'm out."

Welcome to November...month of the Kong.

This week's article is much more difficult to write due to the local blackout, but going from what I imagined, while listening to the game from right to left on my radio dial, here is what I ascertained.

1. Kong! Two sacks, five tackles, and a fumble recovery for a touchdown. Suh currently leads all defensive tackles in the NFL in sacks...he is well on his way to a defensive rookie of the year award.

2. The Lions should never ever again kick off to Brad Banks or Tony Banks or whatever Banks that guy was...because they can't cover kickoffs.

3. Stafford came back and looked really rusty. Sure he threw four touchdown passes and had a QB rating of over 90. But he dropped back 45 times and accounted for only 215 yards. That's only 4.8 yards per attempt. The good quarterbacks are usually up at 7 or 8. He's got a way to go.

4. I hope I'm not wrong, but I foresee another 3000 Stafford to Johnson touchdown calls.

5. Who was this guy that showed up in a Kevin Smith uniform, because he looked a hell of a lot better than the real Kevin Smith.

6. Nate Burleson needs to start thinking more about ball security and less about looking good.

7. The Lions are still committing way too many penalties. It might work against the Redskins, who have a penchant for giving away games that they should win, but it won't work against the Jets next week and there's no way it'll ever work against the Patriots in a few weeks.

8. The Redskins play an ugly brand of football and then they drag you down to their level. How this team beat the Packers is beyond me. How this team is 4-4 is a huge mystery.

9. An optimist would say the Lions are now tied for third place in the NFC North...but it's still the cellar. The Lions, now 2-5, are tied for last with the Minnesota Vikings. I bet those guys are really glad they flew down to Kiln to talk the Devil out of hunting squirrel and into coming back and playing for them. He has looked lousy. And it makes me smile.

10. If it wasn't sweet enough to get a win...it looks like the Lions may have lost C.C. Brown for the season too. Now, I'm not happy the guy got hurt. I'd never wish misery on anybody. But the Lions are now pretty much forced to put Amari Spievey out on the field now to see if he can be the long time safety partner to Delmas. I don't know if Spievey is the guy, but I do know that Brown wasn't.

3rd and 3 or less

The Lions did awful on third down in general, but they were also fairly pitiful on 3rd and 3 or less. The Lions were 1 of 3 rushing and 1 of 4 passing. That brings the season totals to 9 of 14 rushing and 8 of 18 passing. My theory that running the ball on 3rd and 3 or less 90% of the time is much more promising than passing is looking really good.

Still haven't blocked a punt

Not only will the Lions seemingly never block a punt, mostly from pure lack of trying, but it appears that they no longer have the ability to cover a kickoff either. Banks had two kickoff returns for touchdowns yesterday (one was called back on a penalty) . That's really, really bad special teams.

Wouldn't it be great if the Lions had cheerleaders?

Beyond the fact that the game was blacked out in the Detroit market another reason that most Lions fans should have hoped for an away game against the Redskins, besides the chance of ending the road losing streak, is the fact that the Redskins have one of the preeminent cheer squads in the NFL. Most impressive.

Where's the fade stop?

Now, I can't really complain about the Lions not using the most unstoppable play in the modern era of football this week. One, because I didn't actually "see" the game and can't tell you how close they came to running it. Also, Megatron had three touchdown catches on the day. The Lions coaching staff was doing a pretty good job of using him...you can't argue with results.

Tales of the Inept

Every year the Lions race to their version of the Super Bowl--eagerly losing game after game after game to secure the highest possible pick...but so far this year, even though the Lions have only managed a measly two victories, they are far behind in their annual race to total ineptitude.

1-6 Dallas Cowboys - The Cowboys rolled over and took everything the Jaguars wanted to give them. Then they crawled under a rock. Currently, they are waiting to see if Wade Phillips will be fired before Tuesday.

1-6 Carolina Panthers - The Panthers lost to the Rams....the team the Lions trounced just three weeks ago. Poor John Fox, a good coach who'll be looking for work after the season.

0-7 Buffalo Bills - The Bills scared me yesterday, taking the Kansas City Chiefs deep into overtime before losing. As much as I hope that the Bills will join the Lions in history as another completely winless team...they've fought pretty hard these last two weeks.
 

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